05-02-2014, 07:08 PM
Dear Kristen, I can relate, sweetheart! 
I wish there was an easy answer to give to you. I also face a diminished libido (total understatement!!!!), and a reluctance to give up my herbal addiction habits. I struggle with some of the same issues...there are good days and bad days, giddily silly days and bleak and depressing ones, too.
I encourage myself that most people are no better, but just have different issues.
Sometimes it helps to speak to someone other than your spouse, and this board is so good for that, of course, but sometimes something beyond that can be needed. Have you thought about seeing if there is a good, tg friendly therapist near you. I know we are all taught that we must be strong and tough it out etc etc, but seeing a therapist myself, though I do not anymore, helped me sooo much. There is no shame in needing a good friend with whom to share these issues.
Please don't take my suggestion the wrong way, sweetheart. Most people view therapy as a negative admission, as though there is something wrong with you, me, us. But the truth is that a good therapist is much more like having that wonderful wise, accepting and helpful (perfect) parent that we all wish we had had, there to help you find the answers you need.
Regardless, honey, we are all here for you, too. Always!
Hugs, sweetheart.
I wish there was an easy answer to give to you. I also face a diminished libido (total understatement!!!!), and a reluctance to give up my herbal addiction habits. I struggle with some of the same issues...there are good days and bad days, giddily silly days and bleak and depressing ones, too.
I encourage myself that most people are no better, but just have different issues.
Sometimes it helps to speak to someone other than your spouse, and this board is so good for that, of course, but sometimes something beyond that can be needed. Have you thought about seeing if there is a good, tg friendly therapist near you. I know we are all taught that we must be strong and tough it out etc etc, but seeing a therapist myself, though I do not anymore, helped me sooo much. There is no shame in needing a good friend with whom to share these issues.
Please don't take my suggestion the wrong way, sweetheart. Most people view therapy as a negative admission, as though there is something wrong with you, me, us. But the truth is that a good therapist is much more like having that wonderful wise, accepting and helpful (perfect) parent that we all wish we had had, there to help you find the answers you need.
Regardless, honey, we are all here for you, too. Always!
Hugs, sweetheart.