[Samantha Rogers]

Patti, I am a little confused by your comment. You referred to the "feminine voice" thread I started, so I must assume you are referring to me. But, if so, either my previous comments have been misleading or misunderstood. I apologize if the error was mine. Honestly, after all this time I cannot remember a lot of the comments I have posted...LOL. I do remember threads and comments from over the years made by others (Bryony comes to mind), which were along the lines of "men with breasts", but I am not certain how that generalization made by others would apply to me. As a slow process starting in childhood, I have been exploring and trying to understand my feminine side for what seems a lifetime, and that process eventually led me here. The past few years have been a continuation of that quest for self understanding. And, yes, the recent months have witnessed an acceleration as participation on this board and interactions with all the wonderful people here (yourself included:) have assisted me in more clearly understanding what drives and afflicts me.
But there is a difference between denying and not yet fully understanding. I have often pointed out my belief that this is a journey. Some may take that to mean simply in breast growth, but for me it is a journey of self discovery and understanding.
I don't fully understand why I was drawn to crossdressing, anymore than I fully understand why I was so prone to losing my temper or acting so judgementally of others when I was younger, or any of a host of other parts of me that I have been able to isolate. But I am continuing to reach for that understanding. Every question leads to another question. They say when you stop growing, you start dying. I still have way too many questions to answer before I die. Maybe it is what drew me into acting...a curiousity and a drive to understand what makes people tick, and by extension, what makes me tick.
Regardless, I am not certain you "got" what I was looking into with the voice thingy. Yes, for many here and elsewhere, who are assured of a plan to transition or live en femme full time, this is a vitally important task. For me, (I do not anticipate ever living full time femme, nor transitioning...but I guess we never know what may come) ....as Clara alluded to in the voice thread, it is more of a question of some kind of self administered psycho therapy. I discussed this a little in the last posting on the thread. I don't know if I will ever dress in public. I don't and I cannot. I cannot foresee where this road goes. But what is important to me is finding a wholeness and a peace. Until I am fully able to allow my feminine side equality with my male side, I doubt I will ever be able to merge them in what I hope will be a unified and healthy person. Both sides have good traits and bad. Right now in this process I am learning more than I can say from a long suppressed Samantha, and most of it is about love, empathy, consideration and forgiveness . These are all qualities previously lacking or in short supply in my male side, and I very much value what Samantha is teaching me. Hopefully the road I am on will make me a better person, regardless of whether that person is who I want to be, or is male or female or somewhere in between. I really hope this is true for all of us.
Thanks for bringing this up.;) The questions that make us think are the opportunities to learn.:)
Hugs

PS- There is another thing about the voice. I am a bit of a perfectionist. When doing woodwork I will make every corner and joint perfect if if they will never be seen...because I need to know they are right. I think, perhaps, there may be a touch of that in wanting my to develop a real feminine voice. Even if I am the only one who ever hears it...Lol