[Miranda-nata-est]

I lay in bed at 3 am last evening thinking about this - the big trauma in my upbringing was unlikely to be the 'cause' I feel of a Gender Identity Crisis. - nor is there any history of it in 'our genes'.


The one thing that was going through my mind last night, and now, is that I just have had enough of being 'The decisive one'.

I sometimes feel I would just like someone else to be the one 'in charge', I would just like to sit back and not be involved too much. There is, and always has been a huge demand on my physical and mental resources from work (until I retired from work per se) and currently due to a hugely difficult set of family situations.

So. my initial thoughts were that it would be great to hand this load over to someone else and this typically seemed to imply adopting a female rather than male mode. However, the more I thought about it last night, the more I realised that I was in fact only pandering to gender stereotypes.

One of my daughters suggests we have no control over what we are or where we go - our brains are just a massive chemical factory, the outcome of which is, by the nature of bio-chemistry, predisposed.

I hate to admit it, but I have a sneaking suspicion she might just be right ('cos the chemicals tell me so!!!!)

M x