I'm very much a Why and Wherefore type of person, and if I wasn't I wouldn't be here in this forum, and my life and career would have been very different. If a subject interests or is important to me then I'll explore all around it. A big store of technical trivia was a professional asset and I still find it useful. In the present instance the why and the wherefore help me decide how to lead my life and I hope make me feel happier about the journey. Would I have been happier and more productive without being that type of person - who knows? Both of my step children are "Tell me only what I need for my purpose, and no more" people who reckon that "Yes" or "No" should be the complete answer to most questions, and they seem to do OK.

Annabel,

My wife is also very analytical and wants to know the "how and why" of what's going on in my head. She so desperately wants to find a way to fix me. As much for my own happiness as for hers. It will never be easy for us. And I dont know what the future holds. But at least I'm finally at ease with myself. I know who I am even if with two young children it will be sometime before I can fully express myself outside of this forum.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

After years of struggling to answer questions with no real known answer I came up with this realization.... spending time on seeking answers to questions that even if they could be answered..... and those answers didn't change what you do going forward.... weren't worth finding out.... they add no stake holder value... that's when I just accepted the way I am at face value.... without question.... and moved forward.... life has gotten so much better since then... mentally and other wise.... probably doesn't work for everyone...

Agree.

I'm very much a Why and Wherefore type of person, and if I wasn't I wouldn't be here in this forum, and my life and career would have been very different. If a subject interests or is important to me then I'll explore all around it. A big store of technical trivia was a professional asset and I still find it useful. In the present instance the why and the wherefore help me decide how to lead my life and I hope make me feel happier about the journey. Would I have been happier and more productive without being that type of person - who knows? Both of my step children are "Tell me only what I need for my purpose, and no more" people who reckon that "Yes" or "No" should be the complete answer to most questions, and they seem to do OK.

I'm with you, Annabel. It doesn't matter the subject, I want to know more about the underlying principles and the foundation of knowledge that leads to understanding.

On the other hand, I can see Karren's side, too. At some point, knowing more 'why' doesn't change the 'what'. Pursuing the 'why' turns into 'what for?' Maybe it's an evolutionary process, the stages of which correlate well with the size of our breasts.

I'm still in the curious stage. The questions: "Why I am what I am?" and "How did I become that way?" are very interesting to me. I guess that's why I post more here than in the main forum. Breast growth is important to me, but it's just the visible tip of a massive iceberg that is my gender identity.

CK

Annabel,

My wife is also very analytical and wants to know the "how and why" of what's going on in my head. She so desperately wants to find a way to fix me. As much for my own happiness as for hers. It will never be easy for us. And I dont know what the future holds. But at least I'm finally at ease with myself. I know who I am even if with two young children it will be sometime before I can fully express myself outside of this forum.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

That's hilarious, Jessica! My wife is just the opposite. She just accepts me without question. Her eyes glaze over when I talk about the "how and why".
I guess I should be grateful.

CK

It seems that we are all in different positions over our relationships with our wives. I should say that my wife is very feisty and 15 inches shorter than me. We first met because she beat me out for the first job (other than summer jobs) I was competing for, and it was only because of an unexpected second vacancy that I got taken on by the same firm a short time later. My wife to be already had significant previous experience which I didn't, while I at that time also had a speech impediment (probably a result of my GID). It was a very old-fashioned firm that had never previously hired a woman in a professional capacity. She got a room to herself, while I was put in the corner of the room of one of the senior partners, but I was paid more. I was required to take my coffee breaks out of the partner's room, in practice in my wife-to-be's room, where I learned an immense amount about the job and fell hopelessly in love. Hopeless because my brain told me I needed to be the pursued rather than the pursuer and there was no way I could bring myself to make any kind of advance to her. Eventually she found ways around this, but that is another story and even more OT. I should say that neither of us was a lawyer, but I later ended up a partner in a multidisciplinary partnership (a way for a law firm to bring in specialists in other professions) and my wife(by then) had various contracts with large law firms.

Such firms seem to have in common that they believe that the laws of contract don't apply to them, a problem that she was quite prepared to tackle head on where necessary. The managing partner of one firm told my wife that she 'was not a team player' i.e. she didn't go along with his proposals, but it got back to us later he described her to colleagues as 'one tough lady'.

So this tough lady knows about my breast growth and that I am taking things to encourage it, but uncharacteristically she seems somehow to slide away from my attempts to discuss my gender issues (this tends to be her way when she feels that I'm being unduly obsessive about something, but may be discomfort). Certainly she reckoned that I might have embarrassed our Nurse Practitioner when I touched on the subject at our last appointment. It doesn't stop her playing with my breasts in bed (sometimes rather roughly) but I don't feel that it's something with which she is really comfortable. Since she has always insisted that she has no lesbian tendencies, that could be the reason. The very fact that I was able to bring up the issue with the NP speaks to the mental effects on me of PM (surely it could not just be low testosterone).

It doesn't stop her playing with my breasts in bed (sometimes rather roughly) but I don't feel that it's something with which she is really comfortable. Since she has always insisted that she has no lesbian tendencies, that could be the reason.

Others here have mentioned that their wives like to play with their breasts. I can tell you that mine does. Even when just engaging in a little hug and peck around the house during the day, her hands will invariable find their way to my boobs. Sometimes, I think she's checking on my growth.

Your wife sounds like a strong, intelligent woman, Annabel.

CK

It seems that we are all in different positions over our relationships with our wives. I should say that my wife is very feisty and 15 inches shorter than me. We first met because she beat me out for the first job (other than summer jobs) I was competing for, and it was only because of an unexpected second vacancy that I got taken on by the same firm a short time later. My wife to be already had significant previous experience which I didn't, while I at that time also had a speech impediment (probably a result of my GID). It was a very old-fashioned firm that had never previously hired a woman in a professional capacity. She got a room to herself, while I was put in the corner of the room of one of the senior partners, but I was paid more. I was required to take my coffee breaks out of the partner's room, in practice in my wife-to-be's room, where I learned an immense amount about the job and fell hopelessly in love. Hopeless because my brain told me I needed to be the pursued rather than the pursuer and there was no way I could bring myself to make any kind of advance to her. Eventually she found ways around this, but that is another story and even more OT. I should say that neither of us was a lawyer, but I later ended up a partner in a multidisciplinary partnership (a way for a law firm to bring in specialists in other professions) and my wife(by then) had various contracts with large law firms.

Such firms seem to have in common that they believe that the laws of contract don't apply to them, a problem that she was quite prepared to tackle head on where necessary. The managing partner of one firm told my wife that she 'was not a team player' i.e. she didn't go along with his proposals, but it got back to us later he described her to colleagues as 'one tough lady'.

So this tough lady knows about my breast growth and that I am taking things to encourage it, but uncharacteristically she seems somehow to slide away from my attempts to discuss my gender issues (this tends to be her way when she feels that I'm being unduly obsessive about something, but may be discomfort). Certainly she reckoned that I might have embarrassed our Nurse Practitioner when I touched on the subject at our last appointment. It doesn't stop her playing with my breasts in bed (sometimes rather roughly) but I don't feel that it's something with which she is really comfortable. Since she has always insisted that she has no lesbian tendencies, that could be the reason. The very fact that I was able to bring up the issue with the NP speaks to the mental effects on me of PM (surely it could not just be low testosterone).

When I read this thrEad fully I can firmly say without hiding any thing that I never had any such feelings . I was typical horny kid who did what all boys did but have always been more sensitive and not so aggresive . Yet I am very competetive and can be agreesive to a point . I believe stress probably brings changes in you . I did read somewhere that mothers who are under stressful condition give birth to GID babies . My situation started about 1997 while taking on a competitor I also added extra bows to my string in my business . I was working anything upto 14 hour day . I developed all sort of illnesses related. To stress . It is during this period I started wearing ladies underwear / corsets / stockings . Corsets came in handy for releif of stomach cramps , and stockings to cover my legs due to application of cream for eczema . When I suffered heart palpitation my doc advise was this is a sign either slow down or get ready for hole. In ground . Sold my non core business taking loss of 150k pounds n decided to slow down. That was back in 2004 . Aggresor in me didn't keep quiet for long and I. Went for total demolition and rebuild my existing business property which came to fruition 5 yrs ago . Over a year ago I was diagnosed with RA and the scare came when nodules in lungs grew by 66% . My. Doc reconed they are RA nodules but for safety biopsy was best . I took herbal route to help my RA . And changed my diet . Luckily when I was under the scanner on day of biopsi to put guide wire in lung they found my nodules had shrunk hence no BIG C . Reading more on herbs I was taking they are pythogens and sparked my intreast in breast growth !!
So here I am !! Contradiction !! Labeles !! GID !!
In my heart of heart I know that I want more feminine body but no transition . I am still weded to my male identity !!
MayBe I am weird . But that is what I am

If there is weird at all, then we are all of us here in that bag, but I don't believe in weird.

I should have referred again to the Dear Abby column for December 18, 2013. My wife says DA's answer is spot on. I wonder who wrote it for her.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131218