[Soledad46]

...F**k it THIS IS WHO I AM. I LOVE BEING ME.

Bobbi

God damn, I just love you Bobbi! You are an inspiration for EVERYONE on this board, without qualification. Someday, I'm going to say those words too, and mean them. And then I will raise my glass to YOU. And me. <3!

Xo, Soli

[dcdee]

I had to chime in here, but I have no idea what I am going to say. I will let my finger do the walking and see where i end up. Maybe in a strait jacket, maybe with a little personal peace.

Being 50 something like many of us here on BN, I have a much different perspective than i did when i was in my 20's and dealing with the same demons. I wish i had this wisdom and outlook back then, but as they say hind sight is 20/20,

I have accepted being trans something. Not totally a man. Not totally a woman. I like things in both worlds. I would probably be considered a "Tom Boy" (using a term from the past). I want my body to be as feminine as possible, but i do miss the strength and endurance i had before herbs and hormones did their thing. I like guns and games, but i also like pretty clothes and cooking. Being passive aggressive by nature i am submissive to my wife but tries to manipulate her to get my way.

Over time Christina has been inching out. With my wife's tacit acceptance i have become more overtly feminine to the point we are called ladies in public more times than not lately. I smile every time I hear that. At least she has stopped complaining and takes it in stride. We have taken the old DoD approach of don't ask don't tell about my transition. I have a terrible fear of rejection so I do not bring it up. But at the same time i have an over riding need to be me and live a life as a woman as much as possible. Is that so bad.

Here comes the politically incorrect part.

Outlaw bikers wear a "1%" patch to signify they are a special group. Stats say we (trans people) are about 0.3% +/- of the population. I saw an episode of Being Caitlyn (or something like that) when Ms Jenner was in a group discussion with a older trans woman who said something to the effect that Caillyn needed to be prepared for the world to look at her as a freak. That hit home. As a group that is less than 1% of the population we are freaks. Deny it all you want but we are not normal. Does that make us bad? NO. Does that make us less than human? NO Should we be given an equal amount of respect as any other person? ABSOLUTELY Should we be given preferential treatment because we are, as my wife says, "Special"? NOPE. Remember we are less than 1% of the population. We need to learn how to navigate within the accepted norms to be accepted. I have learned how to "blend" in. When i am taken as a woman in public, I smile. When perceived as a male, i am disappointed but my chromosomes are what they are and no amount of hormones, clothes and make up will change that.

I know I have pissed of some of you. I apologize if i offended those. I am just trying to face reality and deal with it in a positive way in an effort to maintain my sanity, or what is lleft of it.

So back to the original point, Being Trans.

Being trans is being me. Not totally male. Not totally female. I am sad and tired. But I have accepted I am what I am. I just wish the world would take a chill pill and accept me as me.

Peace

Christina

[jamiemason]

This is a quite interesting thread.

For those of us that are older, I think it's somewhat more acceptable now than it was years ago - and I use that term loosely, because bio males who crossdress or transition are still looked at as 'weird' in the society overall, especially by Baby Boomers.

The support for younger TG's, male or female, is more accepted and fluid, because that generation views being trans as a very real issue among younger adults. Social media has helped greatly with sending the message of the effects and struggles TG's encounter.

Personally, I always knew that I was different. I think we all do somewhat, and our stories share lots of similarities. Wearing female clothing was a way for me to connect and explore within myself - though I was horrified when wearing femme garments didn't bring embarrassment, but a sense of feeling natural. (I didn't have to learn to be female, walking , posture, etc., cause it came natural to me.)

NBE has helped so much with me. The love how my body looks now, and finally my mind feels like I do physically.

I have lots of peace within myself, though it took 40 something years to get here.

I've come to terms with two sides of my life - male and female, and both are just as important as the other. I hope others can experience that.

[Happyme]

...F**k it THIS IS WHO I AM. I LOVE BEING ME.

Bobbi

God damn, I just love you Bobbi! You are an inspiration for EVERYONE on this board, without qualification. Someday, I'm going to say those words too, and mean them. And then I will raise my glass to YOU. And me. <3!

Xo, Soli

Blush, I guess that all comes with age. One no longer has to cow tow to anyone that they dont want to.
I'm just Happy me.
And I would love to share a glass with you any time Soli!
Bobbi

[spanky (aka Lola)]

Hi Lotus,
Glad to be able to maybe help you out for a change!
I'm 67. that is a new 67.
Here is my perspective and what I have observed over the 5 years I have been sharing this experience with my wife and being more openly femme.
1. As you pass 50 and 60 you dont give hoot about what other people think! Your past having to make an impression and your life style is not a flaunt my sexy booty in the bar type. Your femminization is a serious thing and something you put a lot of time, thought and hard work into.
2. Most of the 50+ crowd that discovers that they should have been female ages ago, do it and leave the TS scene. aka Clara Kay. They were trans sexual but now its over, they want and need to just be a woman. So its hard to get a perspective from the other side.
3. The biggest issue with being 50+ is that we all want those perky 20+ boobs and slender waist and lovely physique.. but we have other issues.. wrinkles, belly, muffin top cellulite, MPB. So even when we are all done with our DIY remodeling there is still a lot that needs to be tweaked. That distracts us from where we were heading. So forget about it. Your 40, 50, 60 what ever, there is a wonderful maturity that we need to accept and slide into. Wrinkles and all. You are still allowed to wear a mini skirt. I said so, so there!
4. However, I have found that as I drift to femme I am much more conscious about my figure, my appearance, and what goes into my body. SO I believe that all of this is a great thing to extend our lives and we should do what is required to prolong the wonderful days ahead. Diet, exercise and mastering the art of makeup.
I dont know if I answered your concerns, but I think the bottom line as we get older id F**k it THIS IS WHO I AM. I LOVE BEING ME.

Bobbi

Thanks for posting this. I did not make any moves in the F direction until I passed 60. Point 1 is very true for me. I care a lot less about how others react, partly because I no longer have to please and employer (my partners) and clients as I once did. The observation in 2 is very probably correct, although I do not know whether it applies equally to those who do not plan to go as far as SRS, or even to take their testosterone levels down as far as they can go. Observation 3 is very true. There are not many 60+ year old who avoid visible signs of aging. We are not likely to look like young fashion models no matter what we do. A little grace is what is required. Finally, I am with you on point 4.

[The First Aria]

My wife asked me a few years back, why I liked to wear my "play clothes". I told her it was a mood type of thing, rather I wanted to accept my feelings of being laid back, as a female, or back to being masculine.

About a month ago, she asked me somewhat the same thing again...

I am not sure if my second answer so much lined up with the original, but here is what I told her...

"Well, women can wear men's shirts... there is a least one by a well known female country singer who extolls doing so, women are increasingly wearing anything from all male clothing to very short or non existent hair style... And any of them MIGHT get a glance.... But let a man wear a plunging neckline and all hell breaks loose..." I further told her I thought that was being "two faced as hell"....

After that, she didn't say anymore.....

I have said it before, but I think here is as good as place as any to repeat...... I don't ever seeing myself turning my "man card" in as a very good friend once said... But, if I want to go out in public "en-femme" and try to act, feel and getting a passing grade.... that should be my choice. Just as we let women do the same... Am I off base????

[julieTG]

There seems a pretty strong change of wind to TG nowadays

I was watching a documentary on a Uk army captain who transitioned MTF and leads his men now as a woman and remarried a beautiful woman to boot

Hats of there ?

I sat there slightly in awe and my 14 year old daughter asked what it was about, I duly told her and she went

"wow cool"

Julie

[Lotus]

Inspiring wisdom, very cool. ..........1% huh?, sounds good to me.

[tanysquirrel]

I would rather be the 1%, original and take the lead, than the 99% who follow.

[Dianna1395]

I would rather be the 1%, original and take the lead, than the 99% who follow.

I don't know, Allelomorph,
I'm tired of the stresses that keep coming. I'm getting to the point where, if the 99% won't follow (they usually need to be "motivated") - I'd rather just shoot them. :-P
Sort of a, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," thing. They won't lead; they refuse to follow; and they want ME to get out of the way.
Now, I "lead" in the sense of, "I need 'X' to get this job done, but you've taken the purchasing power. Give me 'X' and I'll lead us to victory." And the response is, "No, do it without 'X', and no 'Y' or 'Z' while we're at it."

So, I want to cull the herd.

It's not a new thing. I recall reading of George Washington hanging men in order to get the Colonials to actually follow orders...
Seems we're still doing the same here, but I am the one being hanged... For "insubordination." Along with anyone else who steps outside a fairly rigidly prescribed (proscribed, maybe?) framework.
Freedom is a dangerous concept to The Powers That Be... Can't harvest the herd if they're free, can't monetize a free animal...

Guess I woke up on the wrong side of the rack this morning...
-Dianna