What else is wierd is I have a few bras made by Bali I liked the first one so much I bought 2 more .but I really didn't pay attention to the type/ model  and even tho they were the same size and same brand they fit different.  Like one of them the cups seem way to big and the other just makes my breasts sore for some reason.

I get mine from ali express or the wish store..

The cup sizes are ok, but you have to order the next size band up ..( if you measure 40, go for a 42 )

Hi Evy
I have reasons for not going to get fitted, the main one is that my wife knows of my crossdressing but wouldn't approve of me taking herbs to enhance my chest. So, as long as I buy cheap bras and I don't act like I am taking this too seriously then everything is fine. If I show that I am too serious about bras exactly when "by pure chance" my chest is expanding then some alarm lights may go off.
My questions above have been triggered by the fact that in the last week my band size seems to have reduced all of a sudden, even if my weight hasn't changed, and my "breasts" seem to have dropped a bit. Yesterday I tried on my 38C, bought because they were cheap and not because I think I'll ever fill them, and for the first time my nipples were touching the fabric of the cup and the band seemed looser than usual. With a bralet on, I can really see the shape of "breasts" but, since I am a 38 band, it's a struggle to understand how my wider shaped "breasts" should sit into a bra.

I faced objections from my wife. I won her over by admiting I did not look good flat and hairy. I told her I like how I look now. With 38C 40 B my extra long eye lashes full lips high voice it just makes me fit as non gender conforming.

Hi Jannet,
I daily wear a bra, due to the fact of my breast size. A couple of months ago I bought at a lingerie store a bra size 40 b,
Now i could say nice filled, back to the shop again and they measured 42 B.
Better fit and strange enough the cup size is the same a B but a little larger.
So the presure on my body is less and the fit perfect.
Btw what is your cup size and what is your goal.
Love evy

Hi Jannet,
I daily wear a bra, due to the fact of my breast size. A couple of months ago I bought at a lingerie store a bra size 40 b,
Now i could say nice filled, back to the shop again and they measured 42 B.
Better fit and strange enough the cup size is the same a B but a little larger.
So the presure on my body is less and the fit perfect.
Btw what is your cup size and what is your goal.
Love evy

I measure 40B, but they are a small B.
I would have liked to reach a nice C cup, but I know
thats not going to happen.

I generally wear padded sports bra's daily, and normal Bra's padded out to a small C when I present.

I wear a non padded bra, just to protect my nipples they are sensitive at the other side nobody notice that i am wearing a bra.
I believe that more than a B cup will not be posibel. BTW heavy breast looks to me not always plesant.
Love Evy

I think I found a way to try on bras in the privacy of home. I just ordered 5 bras of alternate sizes from Amazon Prime wardrobe. They send you the clothing with a prepaid return box. You get 7 days to try it on. You return what you do not want at no charge. Only pay for what you keep. I will let you know how this works out 

I like torid.com and for the largest supply of BBW bras and also Lane Bryant. I married BBW twice and have been to Lane Bryant uncounted times.

I am always fighting with bra sizes because a man's chest is shaped differently from a genetic woman. I won't get professionally fitted, so I mist do with the tables online. Some web pages with instructions on how to measure say that you can do it with a bra on, but I don't understand how this makes sense. Is it the band size that I can measure that way? I have a bralette with a very weak elasticated band which hugs me perfectly without digging on my sides, is that the type of "bra" I can use? Given that a non padded bralette may hold things together but it doesn't provide much push, can I use that for the cup size too?

The other question is about support. I understand that a large breasted person needs the bra to hold the breasts and spread the weight on the shoulders and back, but what about small breasts? I may have a A cup or a very small B, not enough to sag or drop. What should a proprly fitted bra do? What part of the breast should touch the bra fabric? Nipple? Underboob?

Thank you in advance for any opinion.

You've been given wonderful advice here, and here's my 10 cent's worth too. If in Manhattan NYC, just go to Macy's, go to the mezzenine floor, or I think the 3rd or 4th floor, and you go and find the ladies sport wear section. They have wonderful Nike sports bras & tight-fitting sports underwear that is just awesome to wear, and fits just about anyone, and is ultra supportive and comfortable. I would suggest you go on a Tuesday mid-morning, when its not so busy. There are lovely sales girls there who will support you with anything, without any funny looks or rolling of the eyes behind your back. Just be natural, be yourself and tell them that the underwear is for you. They see trans and crosdressers every day, so nothing new there. They will look at your chest size, measure you quickly, and even allow you to try them on, provided you go to the basement, where the men's underwear section is. 

I've been there often to buy my gear, shoes, dresses, and what not, never a problem. It will also do wonders for building your confidence.

I found if you use the online calculators and it says your for example your a size 40 b  try a 40 a on because  males have a wider chest which may make your final measurements a little off.   
Also a good fitting bra holds the girls in place  , don't squeeze your ribs tightly just snug, an underwire does take a little getting used to but again don't dig in .
I prefer an underwire with shaping type cups not really any padding. Bali back smoother or the like.
And just because it's the same brand don't mean it will fit the same