[Kay Lady]

I feel the best and complete as a woman. I am working on the issues that I carry with my therapist. My hope is that healing some of what I carry will open a door for me. This has happened before in my life, and I stepped thru the door to a wonderful new situation. I have faith in my therapist to guide me through healing some of my past programming. I know in my heart that my life will be different when I step thru that door.

[OOO]

Kay,

Seam like I’m behind you in this journey,  as I’m searching for the best therapist for me.  My gender affirming Dr. said it’s great that your wife is totally comfortable with this change in your life.  But you really need to consider a therapist.  So that is my goal.

As far as the door goes, when I find the door I will probably open it and take it off the hinges.  Going thru the door might happen this weekend as my wife and I are going out in public .  First time out in public as female.

Have have a beautiful day!


Pooky

[Kay Lady]

Hi Pooky,

Thank you and I wish you a wonderful day! And wonderful journey!

~Kay

[CM213]

I hope your first outing goes well. You are much more braver than I. Maybe one day I will be as brave as all of you ladies that came before me.

[OOO]

Kay and CM213

Thanks for the support.  I don’t know how brave I am, but remember I will have the support of my wife.  But that still doesn’t calm the nerves much.  I feel if I can get these 3 days behind me it will be a lot easier.

Nervous girl!!

Pooky

[CM213]

I'm even nervous about if I wear something too feminine in front of my wife yet alone the outside world. Granted who know it might be easier if it was in a place you know you would not know anyone and never see those people again in your life.

[OOO]

Cm213

Get your wife to take you out, dinner, shopping, etc.

My wife and I are going this weekend, like she said “there is no time like the present, this transition is a way of life.”

Pooky

[CM213]

pooky,

Unfortunately my wife has not made it past the shock and awe stage of finding out that I am trans. She has a lot of fears and concerns that I assume everyone typically has, and continues to deal with as a spouse transitions. 

She would never anytime soon be willing to go out in public with me dressed and presenting as a woman. She doesn't want a wife, she wants a man and a husband, she wants her husband to stay the same. So any and all forward progress I feel won't be welcomed, especially not socially. Not anytime soon. She already told.me that she does not know if she can continue our relationship as my wife if I continue. She said she would be supporting and be there for me, but doesn't know how long she can remain my spouse (depending on the extend of transitioning I go through, and for me I feel I want everything. But I know that can change with time.) 

I have been a bit more daring by wearing more feminine lace type underwear around her. I have not worn any of my bras in front of her yet. I wish she would take.me under her wing so to speak and teach me how to be more feminine, to do my hair or buy wigs, teach me make up basics etc. 

But I feel my marriage is over if I pursue transitioning. Just being realistic based on her reactions thus far. I would not be surprised if she is planning an exit strategy already if I get to a specific point that she has predetermined that is the line for her. 

We will see. I am going to continue to see my therapist, and I will work on getting set up with the VA and hopefully get care through them. From what I've heard and researched the VA actual does a lot once they diagnose and individual as being trans or intersex. Just about everything other than gender affirming surgeries ( since they feel they are more cosmetic than medically necessary, however that is a case by case basis.)

[OOO]

CM

As I am not a therapist, don’t know what to say.  I think you are on the right path with the therapist.  But from what I’ve read your wife is acting like the norm.  That’s why I say the therapist is the best approach.  Take it slow and the best of luck.

I am very lucky, my wife is the total opposite of yours.  She is so supportive of the transition.  She made a comment the other day saying, I don’t want you to go back to the old you, you’re finally a joy to be around, I love the new you.

BESY OF LUCK!

Pooky

[OOO]

Cm213

Get your wife to take you out, dinner, shopping, etc.

My wife and I are going this weekend, like she said “there is no time like the present, this transition is a way of life.”

Pooky

CM

I need to apologize for this post.  I didn’t know about your situation, I should have been more carrying and understanding. I wish I had never said it this way.

I APOLOGIZE TO YOU OR ANYONE THAT IT MAY HAVE OFFENDED.  I’M TRULY SORRY.

SORRY!

Pooky