TYK,
A couple things.
1. You misunderstand. I didn't say you were trying to put your parents against you. Would that be your teenage mind or your gamer mind that misinterpreted what I said? I said that you should not use your mother or grandmother to try to convince your dad to help you. He will probably view that as you playing him against them to get what you want. I raised 3 kids, the last 12 years of my army career were as a sole parent with full custody, so I do have a bit of an idea of the things that go through a teenagers mind. Making him think you are using another parent against him is one perception with him that you absolutely DO NOT want to create. If either one of the women say something to him before you talk to him about it, you will have just dug your hole twice as deep. I don't know why your parents have separated, but it may be that your father quite possibly won't want to hear this from her, depending on how well they get along now.
2. One more time, you need to first and foremost discuss this with your father!!!! You're not only under his roof, but he is responsible for your well-being. Going around him is not only disrespectful, but shows a lack of sincerity on your behalf. As well as a lack of commitment you will need if you do decide you want to become transsexual. Do you seriously have any comprehension of the all-encompassing change you say you want to make with your life??
3. I don't care where you are in your class. Does it matter if the whole school knows your name? Does the whole school also know that you need a tutor? What matters to me is WHY you need a tutor? Does your dad not have time to spend with you? Or, do you choose not to accept his offer of personal help with your schoolwork? Is there any chance you're doing any of this to get even with him for something? Is your father too busy with work, (and maybe the new stepmom) to pay attention to you? Or, is he the kind of parent that has enough money to just throw a tutor at you so he doesn't have to get involved?? These are blunt questions, aren't they? But, these kinds of things will have a great influence on how you conduct yourself, and how your family and friends will deal with your feelings and decisions.
4. I don't know what you've read for research of any kind, you haven't said. I'd like to give you a few websites, and tell you to spend a couple days (or more) reading through them to get a much better picture of what you're going to go through. There's also good advice in the first one for dealing with family. I would advise you to read every word, every sidebar, and follow the links. You'll actually probably need a few days to do that, and maybe more to reread and understand it. This is not something to shortchange yourself on. This is the rest of your life you're talking about here, and you should be extremely happy to be as well-informed as you can be.
http://www.tsroadmap.com/early/transsexu...mones.html
http://www.annierichard.com/
http://annelawrence.com/endocrine_treatment_ts.pdf
Matter of fact, there's good info for a lot of us in these, and not just the TG among us.