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(24-08-2014, 08:26 PM)Tanya Marie Squirrel Wrote: (29-07-2014, 11:51 PM)Missed Miss Wrote: Good luck!! But, who knows? Maybe your brother is going through the same thing!
i was both amused and surprised that my eldest sibling was also transitioning roughly same time as me. i only found out through an article in a glbt news paper.
we both share a quote ' born as brothers,die as sisters'
Cool!! Except that it's so bad you couldn't have both told each other, just imagine the incredible amount of support each of you would've had!!
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(24-08-2014, 09:10 PM)Missed Miss Wrote: (24-08-2014, 08:26 PM)Tanya Marie Squirrel Wrote: (29-07-2014, 11:51 PM)Missed Miss Wrote: Good luck!! But, who knows? Maybe your brother is going through the same thing!
i was both amused and surprised that my eldest sibling was also transitioning roughly same time as me. i only found out through an article in a glbt news paper.
we both share a quote ' born as brothers,die as sisters'
Cool!! Except that it's so bad you couldn't have both told each other, just imagine the incredible amount of support each of you would've had!!
oh we have that!we talk on a fairly regular basis. i am glad to have someone else in the family who is going through same feelings and/or similar emotions.
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(30-07-2014, 07:41 PM)Denita Wrote: It worked out well. I sent him a text to bring beer home and after several pints of liquid courage we started talking about life, the universe and everything. I then showed him a web page about GD.
Upshot is he does not care as long as I'm happy.
Denita
am sincerly glad it worked out well for you dear. it is a very powerful thing to have support and/or acceptance of who you are. there are too many of us girls who have to 'go it alone' in this life. knowing your brother is concerned with
your happiness brings a smile to my face and restores a little bit of faith in humanity. cheers!
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(24-08-2014, 11:00 PM)Tanya Marie Squirrel Wrote: (24-08-2014, 09:10 PM)Missed Miss Wrote: (24-08-2014, 08:26 PM)Tanya Marie Squirrel Wrote: (29-07-2014, 11:51 PM)Missed Miss Wrote: Good luck!! But, who knows? Maybe your brother is going through the same thing!
i was both amused and surprised that my eldest sibling was also transitioning roughly same time as me. i only found out through an article in a glbt news paper.
we both share a quote ' born as brothers,die as sisters'
Cool!! Except that it's so bad you couldn't have both told each other, just imagine the incredible amount of support each of you would've had!!
oh we have that!we talk on a fairly regular basis. i am glad to have someone else in the family who is going through same feelings and/or similar emotions.
I mean, too bad you didn't both know about your desire to transition when you were both a lot younger, you could've had all that much more support in THAT aspect. It would've been better than to have to hide from each other, too, when you were both in the same boat. Camaraderie, especially amongst peers, helps a LOT!!!! You could've had each other to talk things through about it over the decades.
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(25-08-2014, 12:42 AM)Missed Miss Wrote: I mean, too bad you didn't both know about your desire to transition when you were both a lot younger, you could've had all that much more support in THAT aspect. It would've been better than to have to hide from each other, too, when you were both in the same boat. Camaraderie, especially amongst peers, helps a LOT!!!! You could've had each other to talk things through about it over the decades.
she and i did not keep in contact for a period of ten or so years,. wasnt a matter of hiding from each other, but yes i agree that would have been a great help.
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(17-08-2014, 10:48 AM)Denita Wrote: If anyone is qualified to gauge your brothers reaction it's you. Knowing him for 66 years. As Clara said though, try to have reasonable expectations. It's possible he might have some idea already and yet it might also be possible that it could be a complete shock.
It is an incredibly hard situation that you are in. To me communication, planning and the ability to compromise seem key in being able to move forward. Yet it needs both parties to be open and willing to acknowledge the problem and work towards a solution.
Hi Denita,
I had the opportunity last Saturday night to speak to my brother in confidence. I felt it was necessary as he and our wives are going on holiday shortly and my change in physique will be very obvious to him especially when we go swimming together. I was not sure what reaction to expect but took yours and Clara's advice to be prepared.
He was very calm and far less emotional than expected. He did say my revelations were a shock as he had no idea that I had suffered in silence all these years. He asked some very pertinent questions and I in turn answered with complete honesty. The person I most fear knowing is his wife, she has a very bigoted view of most things especially with a subject such as this. I asked my brother to let me find the right time to approach the subject with her at a more opportune moment.
My brother immediately poured me a large bourbon and we proceeded to play a few games of Cribbage. So all went well (so far anyway)
Than you again Denita, you have been a great inspiration.
Heather X
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Oh, Heather, that's such good news. It's another step in the right direction for you. I wouldn't worry too much about your sister-in-law either. Even outwardly bigoted people take pause when one of their own turns out to be one of the ill-spoken of class. You can't allow her to be at the throttle of your transgender starship. Your brother's acceptance will counterbalance any initial negative reaction from his wife.
Good luck, dear. You can do this.
Clara
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(26-08-2014, 12:10 AM)ClaraKay Wrote: Oh, Heather, that's such good news. It's another step in the right direction for you. I wouldn't worry too much about your sister-in-law either. Even outwardly bigoted people take pause when one of their own turns out to be one of the ill-spoken of class. You can't allow her to be at the throttle of your transgender starship. Your brother's acceptance will counterbalance any initial negative reaction from his wife.
Good luck, dear. You can do this.
Clara
Clara dearest,
Thank you so very much, your words and support are so valuable and I cherish every one of them. I am getting there slowly, I only hope the ship does not sail without me.
My next big challenge is the psychologist appointment on 15th Sept just 2 days before I fly to the good old USA. I am busy preparing both mentally and a chronological document to ensure HE/SHE has all the right information in the hope it will expedite my transition.
Bless you dear sister
Hugs
Heather XOX
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(25-08-2014, 11:49 PM)Heather-H Wrote: Hi Denita,
I had the opportunity last Saturday night to speak to my brother in confidence. I felt it was necessary as he and our wives are going on holiday shortly and my change in physique will be very obvious to him especially when we go swimming together. I was not sure what reaction to expect but took yours and Clara's advice to be prepared.
He was very calm and far less emotional than expected. He did say my revelations were a shock as he had no idea that I had suffered in silence all these years. He asked some very pertinent questions and I in turn answered with complete honesty. The person I most fear knowing is his wife, she has a very bigoted view of most things especially with a subject such as this. I asked my brother to let me find the right time to approach the subject with her at a more opportune moment.
My brother immediately poured me a large bourbon and we proceeded to play a few games of Cribbage. So all went well (so far anyway)
Than you again Denita, you have been a great inspiration.
Heather X
Hi Heather,
Oh Heather I am so pleased for you! That is brilliant news. It's great that you got to have a proper talk with your brother in confidence.
Really good idea asking your brother for help in finding the most opportune moment to talk to your sister-in-law.
I agree with how Clara so elegantly said it in her post.
(26-08-2014, 12:10 AM)ClaraKay Wrote: It's another step in the right direction for you. I wouldn't worry too much about your sister-in-law either. Even outwardly bigoted people take pause when one of their own turns out to be one of the ill-spoken of class. You can't allow her to be at the throttle of your transgender starship. Your brother's acceptance will counterbalance any initial negative reaction from his wife.
I don't know if you've seen it but I posted a thread on UK Transgender Support.
It's basically a list of national and local support groups.
http://breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=21539
I am researching UK Transgender Events at the moment. Hopefully will post a thread by the weekend.
Denita
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(26-08-2014, 08:39 PM)Denita Wrote: (25-08-2014, 11:49 PM)Heather-H Wrote: Hi Denita,
I had the opportunity last Saturday night to speak to my brother in confidence. I felt it was necessary as he and our wives are going on holiday shortly and my change in physique will be very obvious to him especially when we go swimming together. I was not sure what reaction to expect but took yours and Clara's advice to be prepared.
He was very calm and far less emotional than expected. He did say my revelations were a shock as he had no idea that I had suffered in silence all these years. He asked some very pertinent questions and I in turn answered with complete honesty. The person I most fear knowing is his wife, she has a very bigoted view of most things especially with a subject such as this. I asked my brother to let me find the right time to approach the subject with her at a more opportune moment.
My brother immediately poured me a large bourbon and we proceeded to play a few games of Cribbage. So all went well (so far anyway)
Than you again Denita, you have been a great inspiration.
Heather X
Hi Heather,
Oh Heather I am so pleased for you! That is brilliant news. It's great that you got to have a proper talk with your brother in confidence.
Really good idea asking your brother for help in finding the most opportune moment to talk to your sister-in-law.
I agree with how Clara so elegantly said it in her post.
(26-08-2014, 12:10 AM)ClaraKay Wrote: It's another step in the right direction for you. I wouldn't worry too much about your sister-in-law either. Even outwardly bigoted people take pause when one of their own turns out to be one of the ill-spoken of class. You can't allow her to be at the throttle of your transgender starship. Your brother's acceptance will counterbalance any initial negative reaction from his wife.
I don't know if you've seen it but I posted a thread on UK Transgender Support.
It's basically a list of national and local support groups.
http://breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=21539
I am researching UK Transgender Events at the moment. Hopefully will post a thread by the weekend.
Denita
Denita,
Have I told you lately you are a marvel? Well you are ! That link to a thread you created is absolutely brilliant, I know that there are girls on this forum (Clara, Annie, Sammie, Lotus to name but a few) somehow create such fantastic informative information just like you have done. I am spell bound by you all and I must try to step up to the plate in the future.
I am really and absolutely desperate to mix with my own kindred spirits and you have given me even more reason to do so with your info.
Thank you indeed dear sister, I will pay more attention to Transgender Support in future.
Hugs as always
Heather X