[Heaven's Night]

Now this is nice. The size is close to perfect, one size smalle would probably be even better. But hey, got some space for more curves. " alt="" title=""> Oh and another snap I took... Hmm, I really look way more fem these days. I like it.

<3 <3 <3

Glad to see you are doing well DiDi! You look fabolous!  " alt="" title="">

I'm going to look into how to get the wheels rolling about getting on
hrt. No idea how difficult it may be, but I have to find out. I can't
keep my body as a test lab forever.

Well, you gave NBE a big opportunity and it has paid you well with those lovely curves and boobs, i think it has helped you "taste" what a more "femenine-like" hormone level would be like. If it has given you confidence and has opened your eyes about your future, then go for it! I'm sure with medical HRT you will finally feel perfect and safe! It's a big decision, but at this point i guess is the best one for you. The changes would be wonderful with E2 (both physically and mentally).  " alt="" title="">

Sends big hugs

Some times I'm doing well, some times I'm not... Today is one of those shitty days when everything about me just feels horrible if I pay attention to anything. Its one of the sides of me that pm seems to completely cut off, the constant self doubt, comparing, overthinking the tiniest details to a point where everything just feels like shit and I want to go away, get the heck out from this madhouse of a planet. These 'off' weeks are just pain in the ass. I'm irritable and annoyed about everything. Its one of these days when all my efforts feel like nothing... I don't want to even go near a mirror.

Its still months away that I may take the hrt route, there's enough things to worry about right now and I want to end my job contract first, have some real time for myself and there's a lot I have to do somehow. So months of NBE still ahead.

I shouldn't be even posting right now, I try not to put all my bad days here. I wish I had some friend here to cry against... Ranting about stuff to my gf isn't really nice to her either and she knows too well how I am when things go sour. I guess its better to just try to forget about it, make some coffee and wish tomorrow to be better.

[JustAbbey]

Now this is nice. The size is close to perfect, one size smalle would probably be even better. But hey, got some space for more curves. " alt="" title=""> Oh and another snap I took... Hmm, I really look way more fem these days. I like it.

<3 <3 <3

Glad to see you are doing well DiDi! You look fabolous!  " alt="" title="">

I'm going to look into how to get the wheels rolling about getting on
hrt. No idea how difficult it may be, but I have to find out. I can't
keep my body as a test lab forever.

Well, you gave NBE a big opportunity and it has paid you well with those lovely curves and boobs, i think it has helped you "taste" what a more "femenine-like" hormone level would be like. If it has given you confidence and has opened your eyes about your future, then go for it! I'm sure with medical HRT you will finally feel perfect and safe! It's a big decision, but at this point i guess is the best one for you. The changes would be wonderful with E2 (both physically and mentally).  " alt="" title="">

Sends big hugs

Some times I'm doing well, some times I'm not... Today is one of those shitty days when everything about me just feels horrible if I pay attention to anything. Its one of the sides of me that pm seems to completely cut off, the constant self doubt, comparing, overthinking the tiniest details to a point where everything just feels like shit and I want to go away, get the heck out from this madhouse of a planet. These 'off' weeks are just pain in the ass. I'm irritable and annoyed about everything. Its one of these days when all my efforts feel like nothing... I don't want to even go near a mirror.

Its still months away that I may take the hrt route, there's enough things to worry about right now and I want to end my job contract first, have some real time for myself and there's a lot I have to do somehow. So months of NBE still ahead.

I shouldn't be even posting right now, I try not to put all my bad days here. I wish I had some friend here to cry against... Ranting about stuff to my gf isn't really nice to her either and she knows too well how I am when things go sour. I guess its better to just try to forget about it, make some coffee and wish tomorrow to be better.

We’ve all been there, and I’m at least happy to read and commiserate. It’s a shit time of year generally, and I think the universe has an extra shitty vibe its radiating to everyone ?

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway - feelings are just feelings. They’ll change. Try to be kind to yourself. It’ll improve and you’ll be farther along on your journey.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about change, and how overwhelming it can be. I think in the same way we need physical breaks from PM, we also need mental breaks from processing all these changes. Sometimes the newness is addictive, but that doesn’t always mean its mentally healthy just because it feels good. I personally have noticed this with clothes - wearing different things is super exciting, but also a bit exhausting. It’s been nice for a few days to just go back to wearing normal ‘guy’ clothes that i don’t have to think about. I’ve also had to tell myself it also doesn’t mean anything about my journey, or that I’m somehow having second thoughts. Just taking a bit of a mental vacation from all these new inputs, and giving my self a chance to settle and catch up.

Hang in there,

[Alexis P]

Some times I'm doing well, some times I'm not... Today is one of those shitty days when everything about me just feels horrible if I pay attention to anything. Its one of the sides of me that pm seems to completely cut off, the constant self doubt, comparing, overthinking the tiniest details to a point where everything just feels like shit and I want to go away, get the heck out from this madhouse of a planet. These 'off' weeks are just pain in the ass. I'm irritable and annoyed about everything. Its one of these days when all my efforts feel like nothing... I don't want to even go near a mirror.

Its still months away that I may take the hrt route, there's enough things to worry about right now and I want to end my job contract first, have some real time for myself and there's a lot I have to do somehow. So months of NBE still ahead.

I shouldn't be even posting right now, I try not to put all my bad days here. I wish I had some friend here to cry against... Ranting about stuff to my gf isn't really nice to her either and she knows too well how I am when things go sour. I guess its better to just try to forget about it, make some coffee and wish tomorrow to be better.

I completely understand what it feels like, i often feel like this, like there is no hope wherever i look or think off in present and in the future, i tend to fall in hard negativity... way too often lately.

Anyways, i don't want to make things worse and just wish you the best these days. Did you already contacted a specialist for talking about hrt or just taking some time for it? Because in some places even after talking with a therapist and being sure about it there is still a lot of time to wait after the first check up. Either way i'm sure you will do great, NBE is your friend and will help you now, we in this forum will also stay here for you. I understand the need for some time off, better to show our best sides.

Looking forward for when you will feel better! <3

[Heaven's Night]

We’ve all been there, and I’m at least happy to read and commiserate. It’s a shit time of year generally, and I think the universe has an extra shitty vibe its radiating to everyone ?

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway - feelings are just feelings. They’ll change. Try to be kind to yourself. It’ll improve and you’ll be farther along on your journey.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about change, and how overwhelming it can be. I think in the same way we need physical breaks from PM, we also need mental breaks from processing all these changes. Sometimes the newness is addictive, but that doesn’t always mean its mentally healthy just because it feels good. I personally have noticed this with clothes - wearing different things is super exciting, but also a bit exhausting. It’s been nice for a few days to just go back to wearing normal ‘guy’ clothes that i don’t have to think about. I’ve also had to tell myself it also doesn’t mean anything about my journey, or that I’m somehow having second thoughts. Just taking a bit of a mental vacation from all these new inputs, and giving my self a chance to settle and catch up.

Hang in there,

For me one big deal here is my work, +2 months same thing every single day, mainly plowing snow which in itself is good exercise, but its also deadly boring. nothing has changed since the winter started. And having a daily job is socially exhausting. I'm much more of an introvert these days, having to be social 8 hours each day wears me down and then on weekends I often have band stuff to deal with so no time to mentally recover. Add in all the confusion and overthinking it does to be on the way of becoming trans woman possibly... Its a mess.

I go back and forth with the clothes too and I know exactly what you mean. Ties in with work, I have to present as a guy there and wear the stuff we have to, there's no choice with this. If I'd go in as myself, that would be a social suicide. But then there's one thing which at the same time is annoying and comforting... The pants I wear at work are getting so awkward to wear its crazy, not only is my butt + thighs growing too big for them, but those are men's stuff which doesn't sit on me no matter what. And this annoyance seems to get worse with time. There's a big change in this since few months back and no matter how it annoys me, I like it at the same time as I know what this means.

[Stevenator.]

[Heaven's Night]

Just leaving this here. First time I make some cleavage with this bra on, albeit with little help with my arms.

[Stevenator.]

Dang! Nice lipstick, too!!
Leopard Print suits you!!

[Heaven's Night]

Dang! Nice lipstick, too!!
Leopard Print suits you!!

This must be the most awesome comment I've had for a long time... You know what, I'm not wearing lipstick, that's me, real deal, no makeup at all.

[wee2er]

Just leaving this here. First time I make some cleavage with this bra on, albeit with little help with my arms.

Fabulous, me thinks you should be out and proud with those, make sure you wear a nice tight t-shirt, absolutely fab x

[Connie]

Dang DD, I just don't see how you dress as a man. Surely they must be obvious.