Hi Lara, I love the updates oh and boobs covering part of your arms is a sure sign of you errr growing bigger than anyone lol, your not kidding even with the lil chub you have a amazing ratio going on keep at it. I'm losing a little 1lb a week lately as to see if I can cash in on a little weight cycle
What makes me want to post is what you've put about gender markers and feeling women enough, I'm with you hun here, my existence has been defined by markers made by others, people telling me what I am, without regards for who I am. I know we talked a bit about this in the past and it hurts me too. As you know I came out to a child therapist about being trans but the 90s NHS was a very different time, no one thought a child could be trans and that my experience was a "cover" for trauma. Growing up obviously fem and stealing my older sisters clothes just created a safe space for me yet getting hormones or even understanding the concept of being trans, well that was for tv and the whole "Transvestite" that they are in it for sexual fetish reasons, here's me a child oblivious to sexuality. Yet I'm just me, I'm nothing special my brain is structured this way, how many times in my life that people treated me as if they are treating the mind to help the body. Yet my brain is obviously female there is so much research into trans studies for both mtfs/ftms having brain structure of their associated gender identity. The person lives in the brain and that comes first so the body must be treated to help the mind. What matters more the person or the body?
I originally thought I could post on Nexus instead of Nexum when I joined but I felt like "I had too" for a while I was wondering what should I do so I posted in the genetic side, yet I feel true to being a girl, because I've always believed in the whole, Transwomen are women. Yet this is segregation based on genetics... that leads to scary places.... I feel I have a birth defect my body is obviously not completely male, I've had not a single surgery I get period pains when I was like 9, I had a massively late puberty when I was 17 I was 3ft odd when I was 12 I was a child I even budded there is so much to my story that isn't completely defined simply as genetic male. I feel that down stairs has determined my life more than I have because of its mere existence. I am aware of some younger girls on Nexus having transitioned from the cradle but I feel that our separation from them is a world of hurt for me because they are living in privilege that they take for granted, fitting in while the rest of us are excluded. I'll be the first to say I'm not 100% cis passing maybe 95% with a few andro features and yet my life has robbed me of things others take for granted merely because of my start date being outside of my control
I believe in equality because transitioned women are women right? and can post on Nexus? If we can't cause "age/other reasons" then that conflicts with the first statement. I'd love to hear this clarified, is it GCS? Is it ageism? My forms are literally tied up in the system, do I need to be recognised as female by the British Government? my drivers licence says I am but NHS puts me as MX until I get handled by the GIC. Like many others that are even cis, I can't have kids either and not even before HRT, I've always been sterile so does that make either of us less than a women, Where does this begin and end?
I have a hunch about it being far more effective now than what it was when I wasn't this far in T4 development.
