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(28-03-2021, 03:32 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Ok, its time to rant once again and then change the tone and tell some very nice stuff...
First of all, why in the hell do I have to be so overly sensitive? It seems like the universe is always trolling me when ever I feel too satisfied... Then I see the grass being greener and meet fantastic people who are way further down the road I'm barely taken my first steps into? Only to obliterate my already weak confidence by just being so awesome? Its so hard to be happy for them, when in their success I see where I don't hack it... Its difficult. And yet maybe a reality check and rude awakening is in place from time to time? I don't know, but its troubling me.
And then, those who are the closest can hurt the most, no doubt about it. I've heard it from two people today, more or less directly that I can not become passable. I was called a handsome 'man' today and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm no man. But I don't want to look like a guy in a dress either. Then I was told by none other than the closest person in my life that I will never look like a cis woman and that's a fact. Literally she said that. I broke down... I was already sad and moody and feeling like I'm ugly, clumsy no good forest troll.... A cat in pigs body trying to purr and be graceful.
Where does that stuff come from? As if others are in greater denial than what I am? I'm doing my best to get out of self denial, change my life, make myself so that I'm comfortable in my skin and not constantly irritated with million and one things. And then get told that no matter what I do, I will just always fail? Wtf??!! I'm not trying to prove them anything, just prove to myself. But I need that reflection from outside, I really care what the close friends and my SO think. They're the ones who mean the most and its them who come out to say inconsiderate things that are a punch below the belt where it truly hurts.
Then some nice stuff. Outing myself is going really smooth and nice. Two friends yesterday who were just awesome, two more today and these are the ones who mean a lot to me. My guitarist friend for twenty years, he took it so well, I was surprised. And I never knew his sister is lesbian and he's somewhat familiar with LGBT+ people already. Totally cool! And then my young friend who had made some nasty remarks in the past, also totally cool with stuff and he even complimented my looks. Even though I guess I am a clumsy overgrown masculine forest troll in some peoples minds.
Oh and the measurements, I'm on a roll. slimmest band length ever. I hope I will loose even more of that, bust the same as days before, this is very positive change. Boobies clearly growing nicely as they're not shrinking along with the band length. And my pathetic little nips, they're getting better too albeit worlds away from my dreams for now, but seems I'm getting there thanks to Lotus's fantastic advice on what to do about it. I wil post a picture here which I'm quite proud of... I heard someone say yesterday that hips don't lie. No you tell me, do they?
Sorry to hear it has been rough for you lately, but glad to hear your outing is going well, proud of you DiDi! Screw those rude people, their opinion doesn't matter at all, what matters is what you feel inside and what you really want. Also even though you may not be 100% passable for now remember you are still on herbals and not yet on pharma HRT which is the big deal for transgender women. You have still A LOT of potential changes DiDi, i'd say it is more a matter of personality and learning to live more like a woman in daily life rather than just physics. Anyways your pictures is
shocking! Look at those smooth legs! And hips! I see also your cute nips there
Even though you posted some pictures idk much the proportions of your body so i can't say much about it, but if you feel still some distress about what those rude people said: remember not all women are perfect models and some do look even less femenine than some (effeminate) bois, so don't worry about it.
Keep rockin' girl! You awesome <3
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(28-03-2021, 04:01 PM)Alexis P Wrote: Sorry to hear it has been rough for you lately, but glad to hear your outing is going well, proud of you DiDi! Screw those rude people, their opinion doesn't matter at all, what matters is what you feel inside and what you really want. Also even though you may not be 100% passable for now remember you are still on herbals and not yet on pharma HRT which is the big deal for transgender women. You have still A LOT of potential changes DiDi, i'd say it is more a matter of personality and learning to live more like a woman in daily life rather than just physics. Anyways your pictures is shocking! Look at those smooth legs! And hips! I see also your cute nips there " alt="" title="">Even though you posted some pictures idk much the proportions of your body so i can't say much about it, but if you feel still some distress about what those rude people said: remember not all women are perfect models and some do look even less femenine than some (effeminate) bois, so don't worry about it.
Keep rockin' girl! You awesome <3
Rough time goes both ways, I had some awesome things happen too. It seems this is the way this stuff works, its all ups and downs all the time. And I'm way too sensitive and self aware. I shouldn't care that much, people say some times nasty shit that really hits me bad while the reality is much better than that.
I'm fairly certain things will become easier with time. Its just that I seem to need the validation from others to feel at peace with myself. Most of the time I see my body way worse, then I hear such compliments which make my jaw drop. Just like what you just said. <3 The pressure on the looks is definitely way much worse than for majority of cis women. Heck, I know bunch of them who don't look nearly as good as I do and not even as fem as I can with little effort. And don't get me started on boobs.
Thank gods I have friends and venting channels when shit gets nasty. Without these shoulders to cry I against it would be many times worse.
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Update time.
I'm now going to do 5/2 day cycle, stable dosage on everything, likely off of PM and E cream sat/sun each week and keep the other stuff rolling as usual. More of Lotus's stuff this one. And then to the cool stuff, I just measured the largest bust/band ratio I've ever had. 8,9" if I didn't F up my math. I'm attaching a picture of the measurement spreadsheet I'm going, still keep it simple stupid style but nicely visual now. I should make it have a parallel stats for bust/band ratio and at some point add weekly and/or monthly summary of what's going on.
And then, lastly, take a good look at my nipples, what do you see? The pic was taken just moments ago.
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(29-03-2021, 02:38 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Update time.
I'm now going to do 5/2 day cycle, stable dosage on everything, likely off of PM and E cream sat/sun each week and keep the other stuff rolling as usual. More of Lotus's stuff this one. And then to the cool stuff, I just measured the largest bust/band ratio I've ever had. 8,9" if I didn't F up my math. I'm attaching a picture of the measurement spreadsheet I'm going, still keep it simple stupid style but nicely visual now. I should make it have a parallel stats for bust/band ratio and at some point add weekly and/or monthly summary of what's going on.
And then, lastly, take a good look at my nipples, what do you see? The pic was taken just moments ago.
Montgomery bumps, of course.
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Lol, what a surprise.
I mean my nips have grown since a while back.. I think? I should do some nice pictures comparison some time.
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(30-03-2021, 05:57 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Lol, what a surprise. I mean my nips have grown since a while back.. I think? I should do some nice pictures comparison some time.
Looking great - amazingly feminine!
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(30-03-2021, 05:57 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Lol, what a surprise. I mean my nips have grown since a while back.. I think? I should do some nice pictures comparison some time.
The twins are looking mighty fabulous there DiDi
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(30-03-2021, 05:57 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Lol, what a surprise. " alt="" title=""> I mean my nips have grown since a while back.. I think? I should do some nice pictures comparison some time.
How is E cream treating you? It's been a few weeks now, I stopped PM lotion as my boobs were starting to grow, they are a bit smaller now. E cream is growing nipples for sure, I don't think there's a difference in pictures yet, but I definitely notice it myself. Hopefully my boobs won't grow from it (much) hah.
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31-03-2021, 02:18 PM
(This post was last modified: 31-03-2021, 02:24 PM by
Heaven's Night.)
(31-03-2021, 11:56 AM)member47 Wrote:
(30-03-2021, 05:57 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Lol, what a surprise. " alt="" title=""> I mean my nips have grown since a while back.. I think? I should do some nice pictures comparison some time.
How is E cream treating you? It's been a few weeks now, I stopped PM lotion as my boobs were starting to grow, they are a bit smaller now. E cream is growing nipples for sure, I don't think there's a difference in pictures yet, but I definitely notice it myself. Hopefully my boobs won't grow from it (much) hah.
Hey. <3
I'm on day 13 in with E cream and its mind blowing! I should make some nipple comparison picture to demonstrate this... I think mine have grown since I started, it seems to work very quickly. They're more easily erect now and much bigger and more sensitive. (I've managed to get nipple orgasm twice by now.
)
Your boobs shouldn't grow a lot from it unless you use big doses I would guess? But don't quote me on that. It seems that this was a great little addition. Knowing that there's none or very little receptor conflict with PM and all.
