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Vanity

#11

Ah, Clara, you, bless your heart, hit on exactly where I was trying to go.(where you been, sister?)
I find that it is really hard to look in a mirror when I get out of the shower and see an older male body looking back. Shaving, growing breasts and the other feminizing aspects have made this so much easier the last few years, which I think fits in perfectly with the entire GD diagnosis...trying to express femininity somehow, to quiet the anxiety.
I started actually dressing years ago when alone in hotel rooms on business trips. The large mirrors in those rooms intensified the anxiety until I found ways to alter the image looking back at me.
So, vanity, per se, was perhaps the wrong word to use. Appearance might have been better. I used to think it was just a fetish, but, especially in light of my missing libido and yet continued desire to continue feminizing, I now know it to be something beyond that.
Or maybe I'm just nuts...Tongue
LOL
Hugs
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#12

For me that mirror is my friend in morning and eve when I do my boobie massage and looking sideways as to how they look Blush
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#13

Hi, Sammie, I was out of town for a few days with no access to a computer. Missed my daily login to all the interesting posts that you and all the girls put up every day. I'm trying to catch up now.

I can remember in my younger days when I would cross dress just in lingerie, hose and heels. I was in better shape then, and with some make shift breast forms, I could get myself looking pretty damn good, if I do say myself. Never could stand to look above the shoulders, though, so I wouldn't. It would spoil the fantasy that my CD adventures were creating. Tongue

I'm still in the same boat, only worse. If I succeed in losing these excess pounds, I might be okay with the body, especially with real boobs now, but I've got to do some major rework neck up to overcome my aversion to viewing the total package. Rolleyes

It encouraging to see that other 60 somethings can do a damn good job with their wigs and makeup, so maybe there's hope for me. I keep telling myself that it isn't necessary to look ravishing, only convincing. Right?

Clara Smile
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#14

The only person you need to please is you, sweetheart!
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#15

(25-02-2014, 03:25 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  The only person you need to please is you, sweetheart!

I believe you, Sammie, dear, I just wish I wasn't so hard to please! Big Grin

Clara Smile
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#16

(25-02-2014, 03:18 AM)ClaraKay Wrote:  It encouraging to see that other 60 somethings can do a damn good job with their wigs and makeup, so maybe there's hope for me. I keep telling myself that it isn't necessary to look ravishing, only convincing. Right?

Clara Smile
(25-02-2014, 03:25 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  The only person you need to please is you, sweetheart!

I'll have to admit that the 60 something's here are some sexy ladies!, you've set that bar pretty high!, Classy! Tongue

Hugs!
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#17
Shocked 

Coming to this has been a great help to me emotionaly and how i see myself as a person in transition from a male to a tg all your comments and thought helps us all to look better and fill more confident in who we are becoming day by day thank you all
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#18

Samantha,

I think Vanity is probably the wrong word and I too agree with Clara.

For me it is about achieving a feminine appearance which matches how I feel. The trouble this is hard to achieve to a standard which satisfies the longing. I look in the mirror and think "what do you think you are doing"....but it has no effect.

As yet another "60 something" I can be honest and not expect to become a beautiful supermodel, just try the best I can to have a body that synchronises with my being. I too, when I was much younger, passed well if only the internet had existed and society had been a bit different in my earlier years I believe my life would have been rather different!

Emilee
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#19

(26-02-2014, 03:22 PM)emilee Wrote:  Samantha,

I think Vanity is probably the wrong word and I too agree with Clara.

For me it is about achieving a feminine appearance which matches how I feel. The trouble this is hard to achieve to a standard which satisfies the longing. I look in the mirror and think "what do you think you are doing"....but it has no effect.

As yet another "60 something" I can be honest and not expect to become a beautiful supermodel, just try the best I can to have a body that synchronises with my being. I too, when I was much younger, passed well if only the internet had existed and society had been a bit different in my earlier years I believe my life would have been rather different!

Emilee

Ah, yes, "youth is wasted on the young"...who was it that said that? I think life might have been very different for many of us older girls had the resources and attitudes of today been present back when we still had the assets to take advantage. Vanity was the wrong word...it relates to self image. But there is a relationship, I think.
If we have a GID when we are young and fresh faced, it is easier to step out of the shower facing a trim young body without triggering as strong or adverse reaction on the femme side of things as we get when the refection begins to age into an obviously older, graying, perhaps droopy or paunchy...male.
Combine that growing anxiety with a knowledge that time may be running low, and with, hopefully, some resources from a career, and also with any kids now heading out on their own...you have a perfect storm for brewing up gender crisis.
Don't you?
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#20

I am one who has no choice but to admit that I will never be able to "pass.". I would dearly love to, but height, physique, face, etc. make it essentially inconceivable, unless at a convention of the blind. Even so, I am who I am and thoroughly enjoy my developing attributes.
My fear is that I will be the only person on earth who does! So vanity is somewhat beside the point for me, although I must admit that, for some bizarre reason, I have a desire to be noticed. Talk about setting yourself up for pain!
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