[Jessica Leigh]

To answer the tread topic question, when did I first realize I wanted breast, I would say about the same time I realized I wanted to be female... so about age 10. Granted I didn't think I wanted breasts, as "boobs" were part of the "girl package" so to speak, but I did know that I wanted to be a girl. I never told my parents, or anyone else for that matter, about my desire to be female. I suppose it was hinted at a few times though such as when my mother found my cd-ing stash or when I asked her if I could have a "sweet 16" party.

Back to the question, I would have to say it was in the lat couple years, so mid to late 20's.

That's interesting, Geek, your desire was to be a girl first and then to have breasts. I think my fantasies were centered around having breasts with being female a secondary desire. That may have been a consequence of my subconscious attempts to deny my female side.

You're rather young yet, Geek, where do you see yourself being i 5 years (as to your gender role)?

Clara

Clara,

I don't think it is that unusual or interesting that Geek wished he was a girl first. In first grade I had a dream that I "changed skin" and woke up as a girl. I believe that was the beginning of my dream to be a girl. In high school I just wanted to shave my legs and underarms. The want for breast didn't start till I was in my 20s.

[GoneGirl]

I don't think it is that unusual or interesting that Geek wished he was a girl first. In first grade I had a dream that I "changed skin" and woke up as a girl. I believe that was the beginning of my dream to be a girl. In high school I just wanted to shave my legs and underarms. The want for breast didn't start till I was in my 20s.

I see your point, and I don't disagree that it's not unusual. It was interesting, though, from my perspective, because I personally didn't follow that pattern.

I think there are many boys who have a subconscious female gender identity, but deny its existence at the conscious level. They are in denial of it, and do all they can to stifle it, even to the point of pursuing hyper-masculine behaviors. These boys follow the sex role patterns of their cisgender fellows by marrying, having children, etc. They tend to be late in discovering and/or acknowledging their transgender natures. Often the desire to have breasts, to cross dress, and engage in sexual fantasies is a precursor to an understanding that they have a female personality that is crying for expression.

That's my pattern, and it's why my wife was so shocked when I revealed that side of me. She said that she saw absolutely no warning signs of my feminine psyche up to the day I spill the beans about everything.

So, I do think it is interesting that some males are aware of their desire to be girls early on while others don't. If you can believe some of the studies that have been done, those who know early tend to also be sexually attracted to men once puberty begins. I want to emphasize tend, since there are always exceptions, and I don't mean to imply anything about anybody.

Clara

[Wuerstchen]

I can't imagine there wouldn't be other men who love having breasts. The spectrum is wide and the diversity of nature is epic. Maybe an opportunity for a poll?

Clara

Over the years I 've chatted with guys online who developed breasts as a result of various medications, and almost without exception they loved them. I think older men probably have a more positive attitude than younger about this.

[AnnieBL]

I think the answer to the thread question provides a clue as how much cross gender identity one possesses, and whether engaging in NBE is likely to be something worthwhile and beneficial in the long term.

I grew up with four sisters, so breasts and bras were a common sight in our house. I remember putting a bra on as a young boy, but I don't recall actually wishing I had breasts. I had only a vague notion of what a breast was until I reached puberty.

When puberty arrived, I recall locking myself in the bathroom with the Sears & Roebuck catalog and going directly to the women's underwear pages to look at the pictures. I also liked to peruse the pages of Seventeen magazine at the city library looking at the intoxicating images of girls and how they adorned their curvy bodies. I still had no conscious wish to have breasts during my adolescent years, although a friend and I experimented with putting oranges in a bra to see how having breasts might look and feel. Not very well, we concluded.

It wasn't until after I was married, in my twenties that I discovered a book at the local bookstore about a man who grew breasts. Just the idea of that possibility sent a rush of excitement racing through my body. I was shocked by my reaction. I wanted to open the book, but was too self-conscious with other people around, so I walked away. For days, I couldn't get the book out of my mind. Finally, while again visiting the bookstore, I worked up the courage to open the book and read some of the material. It recounted the story of a man who had inadvertently come into contact with his wife's estrogen medicine, and over time, developed breasts. From that day on, I concocted fantasies about growing breasts myself. The urge to pursue it in reality was never seriously considered until last year when I experienced a relapse into crossdressing, and eventually found my way here.

Now that I have the beginnings of my own real breasts, I wake up in the morning, touch them, and know that my longstanding dream has finally come true, and I am so glad.

Clara

Just read this. A nice story Clara Kay, nicely told.

Thank you, MW. It's very interesting how our common interest -- the reason we all came to BN -- had its beginnings in so many different ways and in different stages of life. It's also interesting how differently we value our breasts as an expression of who we are as people. Some of us see our breasts as an expression of our femininity. Others value breasts for their own sake.

Earlier in my life, beasts only played a role in my fantasies. They existed only in my mind; they did not affect real life. Now, after nearly 5 months of NBE, I have small breasts that are with me day and night. They show through my clothing at times. I feel I must hide them from the world even though I'm happy, even proud to have them.

As my breasts develop, they are also exposing the female side of my psyche. They make it impossible to deny that part of my gender identity that I once suppressed so well. Assuming my breasts continue to grow and become impossible to hide from the world, I suspect that my gender identity will also become impossible to hide from the world. When that happens, will there be any reason to carry on the charade of living the male gender role, if that what it is? Is this the so called 'pink fog', the 'slippery slope' that we are warned about?

Clara

Clara - If Lotus is the research oracle of this group, then you must surely be its philosopher! You analyse things so clearly; even if are navigating through a pink fog you'll be sure to guide the rest of us along the way! Thank you.

[GoneGirl]

I think the answer to the thread question provides a clue as how much cross gender identity one possesses, and whether engaging in NBE is likely to be something worthwhile and beneficial in the long term.

I grew up with four sisters, so breasts and bras were a common sight in our house. I remember putting a bra on as a young boy, but I don't recall actually wishing I had breasts. I had only a vague notion of what a breast was until I reached puberty.

When puberty arrived, I recall locking myself in the bathroom with the Sears & Roebuck catalog and going directly to the women's underwear pages to look at the pictures. I also liked to peruse the pages of Seventeen magazine at the city library looking at the intoxicating images of girls and how they adorned their curvy bodies. I still had no conscious wish to have breasts during my adolescent years, although a friend and I experimented with putting oranges in a bra to see how having breasts might look and feel. Not very well, we concluded.

It wasn't until after I was married, in my twenties that I discovered a book at the local bookstore about a man who grew breasts. Just the idea of that possibility sent a rush of excitement racing through my body. I was shocked by my reaction. I wanted to open the book, but was too self-conscious with other people around, so I walked away. For days, I couldn't get the book out of my mind. Finally, while again visiting the bookstore, I worked up the courage to open the book and read some of the material. It recounted the story of a man who had inadvertently come into contact with his wife's estrogen medicine, and over time, developed breasts. From that day on, I concocted fantasies about growing breasts myself. The urge to pursue it in reality was never seriously considered until last year when I experienced a relapse into crossdressing, and eventually found my way here.

Now that I have the beginnings of my own real breasts, I wake up in the morning, touch them, and know that my longstanding dream has finally come true, and I am so glad.

Clara

Just read this. A nice story Clara Kay, nicely told.

Thank you, MW. It's very interesting how our common interest -- the reason we all came to BN -- had its beginnings in so many different ways and in different stages of life. It's also interesting how differently we value our breasts as an expression of who we are as people. Some of us see our breasts as an expression of our femininity. Others value breasts for their own sake.

Earlier in my life, beasts only played a role in my fantasies. They existed only in my mind; they did not affect real life. Now, after nearly 5 months of NBE, I have small breasts that are with me day and night. They show through my clothing at times. I feel I must hide them from the world even though I'm happy, even proud to have them.

As my breasts develop, they are also exposing the female side of my psyche. They make it impossible to deny that part of my gender identity that I once suppressed so well. Assuming my breasts continue to grow and become impossible to hide from the world, I suspect that my gender identity will also become impossible to hide from the world. When that happens, will there be any reason to carry on the charade of living the male gender role, if that what it is? Is this the so called 'pink fog', the 'slippery slope' that we are warned about?

Clara

Clara - If Lotus is the research oracle of this group, then you must surely be its philosopher! You analyse things so clearly; even if are navigating through a pink fog you'll be sure to guide the rest of us along the way! Thank you.

Well, thank you, Annie.

[Laura-F]

I would have to say that it was when I was about nine although i believe it was probably earlier. It wasn't until then though, that I got serious enough to explore the idea. I remember finding out about breast massage and tried it. I quickly found out it really does work and had a WAID moment and stopped when I realized I'd have to explain to my mom why I have breasts. I wasn't out to anyone at the time. As I look back on my life, I realize that in some of my earliest memories, I wanted to be or simply thought of myself as a girl. I remember sitting on our porch with another girl when I was about five and had a wonderful time with our tea party.

[geek]

To answer the tread topic question, when did I first realize I wanted breast, I would say about the same time I realized I wanted to be female... so about age 10. Granted I didn't think I wanted breasts, as "boobs" were part of the "girl package" so to speak, but I did know that I wanted to be a girl. I never told my parents, or anyone else for that matter, about my desire to be female. I suppose it was hinted at a few times though such as when my mother found my cd-ing stash or when I asked her if I could have a "sweet 16" party.

Back to the question, I would have to say it was in the lat couple years, so mid to late 20's.

That's interesting, Geek, your desire was to be a girl first and then to have breasts. I think my fantasies were centered around having breasts with being female a secondary desire. That may have been a consequence of my subconscious attempts to deny my female side.

You're rather young yet, Geek, where do you see yourself being i 5 years (as to your gender role)?

Clara

Sorry it took so long to reply but my WiFi doesn't always agree with my tablet.

As to where I see my self in 5 years as far as gender role goes, well, I do believe I already perform a traditionally female job, that of housekeeper/babysitter. Granted that's not the actual job title, but those are the duties I perform.