[MissC]

I also agree with you about the manipulative influence man has had on what Jesus said and taught. I have no place for religion or denominations whatsoever and it pains me hear the endless stories of wonderful people who have been abused, hurt and misled by denominations and those claiming to be followers of Christ. Personally, I just try my best to know him and love the unloved as he did. And no, you don't have to be a follower of Jesus to be a good person or to love well ...but I do. So, I guess when you started this thread by bringing up LOVE (and sex), I couldn't resist. You electrified me by talking about the pinnacle emotion / action of my life. ...Faith, hope and LOVE, but the greatest of these is LOVE!

Thanks for tolerating my rant everyone. I honestly try to refrain from these types of comments here because politics and religion are so controversial ...but I really couldn't help myself this time. I'll shut up now. [sighs of relief from the crowd]

I actually read this yesterday, and was going to leave it alone, but something occurred to me while drinking my coffee this morning. It seems a rather obvious question now:

How much help is your faith, really, given the raw internal conflict you're still posting about here?

You talk a lot about guilt and shame, and there's an awful lot of sadness that comes through in your words, whether you mean it that way or not.


It reminds me of a co-worker years ago who told me, without a shred of doubt, that Jesus made him kick his alcohol addiction. It was a long conversation I'll not try to rephrase here, but the gist of it was that he was equally certain that he, as a human man, could not have possibly quit drinking by his own mental effort. Well, guess what fella, lots of people have done just that.

Where am I going with this? It just feels to me like what you are doing is making someone else responsible for your happiness, and when that doesn't happen, assigning yourself all the blame. You get the blame, but none of the credit when it goes right. All the good stuff comes from Jesus, but you, Doodle, are just a flawed human.

Right?

That's no way to live. In fact, it is setting yourself up to fail; virtually guaranteeing your unhappiness because you don't believe you have any control over it.

Please realize, this is not a criticism of what you believe. I respect everyone's right to believe what they please, and reserve my wrath for the organized forms of religion. Rather, I'm presenting the practical faith of a bygone era -- my grandmother whose favorite thing to say was "the Lord helps those who help themselves" -- if you probed further, she'd cuss you out for waiting around for the Lord to do something for you. Get off your ass and do it, He's probably busy -- was the extent of her spiritual dependence. When you're bringing up 8 kids through the Great Depression, that's about the only way, isn't it!?

The dude from Nazareth was a pretty cool cat, by all the stories told... and a good example to follow. Chill out, relax the moralism, and treat your neighbors well. I like that. Just don't wait around for him to come by and fix your head. Provided he's actually still alive, he's gotta be feeling his age about now.

[MissC]

How prescient! After I wrote the previous post, I went to read the paper over breakfast. This was in the funnies today:

   

[flamesabers]

Love is much more emotional, unconditional, binding and endless whereas sex is mostly physical to satisfy an urge or craving. In my opinion, you can have sex without love, love without sex, or have both but it all depends on the type of relationship you have with your partner.

This is a good description of my view on love and sex. Prostitution I think is a prime example of how one can have sex without love. On the flip side, asexual individuals I think are very capable of loving others, including a significant other without ever engaging in sex. I also don't think sex is necessarily the ultimate expression of love. Consider the level of love that may exist within a family, particularly between a parent and child.

Considering my perspective of the two and NBE's reduction in my libidio, I favor having love in a relationship over lots of sex.

[Missed Miss]

What about rock & roll???

I KNOW what rock & roll is, I've got literally TONS of it! ;-)

[Missed Miss]

In lieu of getting on my soap box: I agree completely that the guy that kicked his boozing ways did it himself! No religious figure of ANY type had ANYTHING to do with it!
Put the credit where it's due.
By the way, I didn't want to say any of this, the Flying Spaghetti Monster made me do it.

[❇ Abby ❇]

OK, here is a new can of worms to poke around in...
I have been thinking lately about motivations and I would like to hear what others have to say.
For many years, my relationships with others always confused love and sex. Strong feelings of love almost always led to a desire for sex. At the same time, GID issues were also tied up in that, whether through watching TG oriented porn or through dressing, invariably leading to an act of self gratification. For many years I believed, as a result, that crossdressing was for me a sexually driven fetish and one of which I was ashamed.
Now that my libido has dropped through the floor from PM, I am no longer certain about this at all, since the need to be feminine has, if anything, now begun to strengthen exponentially while there is almost zero thought of sex anymore. When I went out this last weekend, the joy I felt was palpable, beyond description, and yet there was absolutely no sexual component to it whatsoever. None. I could never have said this before. Removing that one element has clarified the other. But I do harbor strong suspicions that the need for love, still strong in me (as I expect it is in all of us) and whatever that word "love" means, but totally unrelated to sex, is nonetheless a large component of my GID. I confess, somewhat shyly, and probably to no surprise to some, that in me it is a deep seated need to be wanted.
It is also, I expect, tied up in feelings indicative of low self esteem. And this might well apply to many GG's who come here hoping to boost their own self esteem by boosting the size of their breasts. But it will likely be different for all of us.
Thoughts? Does this resonate with anyone else?
How is that for a Monday morning question to start the week?
Let the games begin!
The confession booth is open.

What an interesting question. Love and sex.

I always thought I was a bit strange but now it's confirmed. Lol

I never understood how you could have sex with someone you did not love. Both for me are irreversibly entwined.

I've always thought that sex was the greatest expression of love between two people and I simply can not see how you could do one without the other. Sex for me is also all about giving my partner as much pleasure as possible. I'm also a hopeless romantic.

I'm sure low self esteem and GID are connect to the need to be wanted and loved. I've seen friends finish relationships and they then almost immediately start looking for someone new. When it's me I'm destroyed for months even when it's me that finished it.

Denita

[GoneGirl]

I've always thought that sex was the greatest expression of love between two people and I simply can not see how you could do one without the other. Sex for me is also all about giving my partner as much pleasure as possible. I'm also a hopeless romantic.

I can relate to that today, Denita. It has been one of the most valuable outcomes of my taking PM. By lowering my T, I have lost the daily built up of sexual tension that used to demand release in one way or another. Now, sexual arousal is always a part of feeling love for, and being loved by, another. I believe this is more along the lines of the way most women experience love and sex.

Clara

[kimdl93]

I've always thought that sex was the greatest expression of love between two people and I simply can not see how you could do one without the other. Sex for me is also all about giving my partner as much pleasure as possible. I'm also a hopeless romantic.

I can relate to that today, Denita. It has been one of the most valuable outcomes of my taking PM. By lowering my T, I have lost the daily built up of sexual tension that used to demand release in one way or another. Now, sexual arousal is always a part of feeling love for, and being loved by, another. I believe this is more along the lines of the way most women experience love and sex.

Clara

I like to think that my wife would feel, if asked, that it express a similar attitude and approach to expressing affection through intimacy. You often hear wives say that they expect to have a male partner in the bedroom regardless of how we my present outside the bedroom. Recently, as my wife has come to a better understanding of my gender identification, she also understands that whether I present as male or female, intimacy for me is inherently an expression of my feminine nature. I like to believe it makes me a more attentive lover, much more attuned to her pleasure.