[flamesabers]

Hi all.

The last time I've taken my pm pills is Sunday morning. Sometime Sunday afternoon I fell ill with something. Having an upset stomach and otherwise feeling like crap, I decided to abstain from the NBE pills for the time being. After seeing a doctor and taking some medication, my health has greatly recovered. However, I haven't gotten back on my NBE regime. After already taking the plunge, I'm curious to see how things turn out, at least for a few more days.

When talking to my mom the other day, she commented something was different about me. She thought my mood was lower than normal, but I would've described myself as being snarky. I know sooner or later I'll go back on pm, but in the meantime I want to see how this experiment concludes.

For the record, my libido is still non-existent and my gender identity is neutral, which it seems to be at a lot of the time anyway.

Any thoughts or comments?

[JustEmily]

The mental benefits of PM is the main thing that keeps me going.
It makes me feel better. I have also noticed that when I take a break my chest still aches for a few days after stopping (which I assume means that there is a buildup of PM that needs to work its way out.)

Your impressive results and the longevity of your use probably mean you've got a lot stored up... do you think it's just your illness that's making you cranky?

I have often wondered if there would be a withdrawal period.

And you're never cranky while on PM, right?

[EllieBoo]

Hi Flame,

Your query has managed to coax me out of the shadows, finally.

I'm a long-time lurker and it's nice to be able to share my experiences with someone who has, albeit unknowingly, helped me a great deal on my NBE journey, along with many, many other regular contributors to the Bio Male section. Thank you all. Time to give a little something back...

I've been taking PM nearly seven months now (FG & SP prior to that) and decided last month at the six month mark to take a short break to allow my body to recover, and because many on here advise that occasional breaks are good practice. My usual dosage is admittedly nowhere near as high as yours - I'm getting reasonable results cycling between 500 and 1,000mg per day - but even so, a break is still a break, right?

I had originally planned to break for around ten to fourteen days depending on how I felt, but during week 2 I succumbed to a really nasty bout of 'flu which laid me low and feeling like death warmed over for over a week, so I extended the break not wishing to put any further strain on my body during recovery, and ended up going without PM for sixteen days.

I must admit I didn't "feel" any different, although there was a slight loss of bulk from my breasts by the end of the break. Mentally, I felt the same and the urge to watch porn and masturbate did not return. However, when I re-introduced PM again, during that first week starting slow at 500mg per day, the usual urges returned. What I can tell you is that ejaculate volume was back up where it used to be prior to NBE, and the usual milky color had returned; prior to the break, I had very, very little ejaculate and what there was had been clear.

The worst thing to happen by far though was the sudden fit of rage I flew into one day that first week back on PM. It was a really trivial, meaningless little event which sparked it, but I felt for a few brief moments like the angry teenager of yesteryear and I shouted at my wife and regrettably upset her. I feel really bad about that. However, it was soon over and I apologised profusely and made up with her, but it shook me to the core: I never want to feel that way again.

Four weeks back into PM, the calm has returned. Breast fullness has returned and exceeded my previous proportions, but interestingly with none of the attendant tenderness and soreness I'd experienced. I'd also suffered with mild to moderate, occasionally severe, headaches; thankfully those have not returned, either. It was these headaches which kept me from going beyond 1,000mg per day.

Long story short: the break seemed to kick-start a further growth spurt, and for now at least caused a cessation of some of the unpleasant symptoms I'd been experiencing. I think in future I'll keep any further breaks below a maximum of two weeks, and hope that a shorther break keeps the red mist at bay. I can only infer from my experience that PM takes a long time to clear from the system, and a long time to return. During that crossover period, my T levels must've spiked, causing my brief irascibility.

I hope this helps you Flame, and once again thank you and the other regular posters here for all your help, insight and advice over the past year. I've laughed with you, cried with you, enjoyed moments of great joy, sadness and hilarity with you. Thank you all so much.

Big hugs,

Ellie.

[GoneGirl]

A similar thing has happened with me recently. I got quite ill three weeks ago, suffering from intestinal flu/food poisoning for two full weeks. I stopped taking my regular PM/AA dosage during that period. When I started feeling better, I started back up, at a low dosage, but I had to force myself to do it, and missed days. That's totally unlike when I'd take my normal one week monthly breaks. Normally, I can't wait to get back taking my PM at the full dosage -- even cheating by restarting a day early...LOL.

That period of stress due to illness, brought on a change to my outward personality that my wife has noticed, too. I haven't reverted to my old male behaviors exactly, but my female gender has definitely stepped aside for the time being. After more than 5 months now on PM, I still haven't found that balance that we often speak of.

I think I'll go with the flow for now and see where it takes me.

Clara

[flamesabers]

JustEmily,

I've wondered how much pm my body has accumulated over the last two years. I assume anything not used gets discarded via sweat, urine or feces. If my body is storing at least some of it, it makes me wonder whether it's using the FIFO or LIFO method. (Sorry, just a little accounting talk there.)

I haven't felt any achiness in my chest yet.

Yeah, the illness could be the culprit for making me cranky. It wouldn't be the first time that happened, nor am I always a sweet and cheerful angel when I'm taking pm.

Ellie,

I'm glad to hear I've encouraged you step out of the shadows. By the way, I really like your avatar's red hair.

Yes, I do find your story to be very informative. I'm curious about how the reintroduction of pm seemed to set you off so to speak. It'll be interesting to see if I experience a similar reaction. I'm not sure if this will be the case as I've been taking pm longer than you, but who knows?

I hope you feel comfortable with participating in other threads now. It can be very rewarding and beneficial I think to gain a member with a new perspective on this forum.

Clara,

Are you back to taking your regular pm doses?

What balance are you seeking exactly?

[GoneGirl]

Clara,

Are you back to taking your regular pm doses?

No, yesterday I took a low dose 500 mg in the morning, but was already in bed when I realized that I didn't take my evening dose and decided to skip it.

This morning my ambivalence was even more apparent, so I elected to go off PM for awhile. I don't understand where this indifference is coming from. It's kind like when I lost my desire to view porn. It just vanished.

What balance are you seeking exactly?

By balance, I mean a state of mind and gender related behaviors that are reliably steady and predictable. Up until before my aforementioned illness, I was rapidly progressing along a path to develop my feminine persona. I moved from simple NBE for mental calmness, to NBE for breast development, to full body hair removal, to accumulating a woman's wardrobe, to donning wigs and makeup, to risking anonymity, to seriously considering TG friendly public outings, to contemplating professional therapy.... Most of this was not anticipated at the beginning of my cross gender awakening less than a year ago, and seems out of character for me when put into historical context. Now, I feel a need to put on the brakes and get back to a practical reality, knowing full well that I'm overreacting to an overreaction.

Clara (sigh)

[Elisaustin]

I went off a full month.
I had read somewhere it takes anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks for PM to clear
your system. My breasts did ache the first couple weeks. I did not really
get that cranky but it does make you feel different and not in a good way.
I can not say I lost any breast size if I did it was not much.
By the 4th week the morning wood syndrome started to come back and by the end of the month I was super ready to start PM again.
The only good thing in this little experiment was my leg cramps went away
about half way through.
Since going back I have cut back to 500mg in morn and the same at night.
Pretty content over all.
Good luck Flame it was not as hard as I thought but I sure was ready to start
back up.

[Scotti]

Well since I only starting taking PM a few months ago (just popped the second bottle yesterday), the longest I had been without was about a week and it was cold turkey as well. Didn't notice anything other than a few days after is when I felt the tenderness and buds forming. Jumped right back in to 2000 mg and been consistent with it ever since, even during my trip to Vegas last week!

One thing I have noticed is while I do seem relatively calmer on PM, I have recently had some quick flashes of anger, and some pretty severe mood swings. My libido is still active, and while morning erections have disappeared I have on occasion still gotten the urge to masturbate. I also have not noticed what I think others on here have referred to as the "pink haze". Regardless, I like the way my body is feeling, and looking in the mirror I like the way some of my features have started changing.

One thing I did do recently was change from taking 2 pills in the afternoon and 2 at night to all 4 at night. Perhaps I'll revert back to this regiment and see what happens...

I'm sure everything will work out for you Flame!

[Marina Kits]

***Abridged***
Your query has managed to coax me out of the shadows, finally.

I'm a long-time lurker and it's nice to be able to share my experiences with someone who has, albeit unknowingly, helped me a great deal on my NBE journey, along with many, many other regular contributors to the Bio Male section. Thank you all. Time to give a little something back...

Big hugs,

Ellie.

Welcome to the conversation Elie! It's great to have you join us along with your perspective and experience. And wow, you have been observing for awhile! Almost as long as I've been active here. Again, welcome!

One thing I did do recently was change from taking 2 pills in the afternoon and 2 at night to all 4 at night. Perhaps I'll revert back to this regiment and see what happens...

I'm sure everything will work out for you Flame!

Wow, that's a lot of PM in one shot. I always suspected that it would be OK to do it but popular thought was to spread it out and some even indicated it caused bad symptoms. I'm glad you're giving it a try and even happier that you're reporting your results here. That's what makes this place the wealth of knowledge it is. Keep us posted Scotti.

Flamesabers,
Don't you dare leave us! I'd hate to see you get all hopped up on testosterone and go AWAL. Glad to hear you're feeling better friend.

[flamesabers]

I'm sure everything will work out for you Flame!

Thank you!

Flamesabers,
Don't you dare leave us! I'd hate to see you get all hopped up on testosterone and go AWAL. Glad to hear you're feeling better friend.

I don't plan on leaving this forum.