[Miranda-nata-est]

This question probably shows I still don't really 'get' any of this, but I was wondering why folks think it a good thing to lose interest in sex.

At a time when I am considering adding spearmint into my regime (mainly in an attempt to keep the head of hair I still have at 57, having become significantly more concerned about my appearance these days), the question of its effect upon libido is concerningd me.

The problem is that I still like male orgasms (I like female ones too but differently) and I like sex and the intimacy of sex. I get it that over a protracted period, male performance might become an issue as a result of PM anyway, but don’t really want to detract from my current sex life any more than necessary - particularly as the days for it are seemingly numbered already.

It crosses my mind that genetic females have a libido which can be equally as high as that of males so what is to be gained by eliminating ours?

Sorry if this is a stupid question - I am just trying to understand so many things just now!!!!

M x

[Samantha Rogers]

I guess it is all about personal identity and where you are on the GID spectrum (which only you can determine) coupled with the individual situation. Aside from a few, who are certain a full transition to a fully female physicality and including eventual SRS, I don't know of many here who view loss of male function as a desirable goal in and of itself. Rather, many, intent on feminization to some degree, recognize that loss as a real by product of the process, and accept that as a necessary trade off. Others attempt to have it both ways, to one degree of success or another.
The good news, at least as explained by my endo, is that, short of SRS nothing is totally irreversable, except perhaps fertility, and there are even questions about that.
My guess, Miranda, is that at 57 you are no longer concerned, as am I am not either, with fathering children. Is that correct? If so, the effects of PM on function should be reversible by discontinuing PM and, if needed, possibly increasing T thru supplementation, whether herbally or synthetically. In the meantime, loss of function can be slowed and moderated through the use of lower dosage amounts of PM, coupled with (pardon my pun) regular sexual stimulation and exercise of the sexual organs.
Of course, there are no guarantees, so caution is advised. A consultation with an endo might also be advised.
I can say that despite four years of PM, and recent application of estradiol, the last month without any AA at all has left me now feeling as though sexual release might be possible again now or soon, with the right situation, and inducement, of course...tee hee.

[GoneGirl]

Hi Miranda,
My experience tells me that the male libido is different than the female libido. Before PM, my sex drive was quite strong with sexual tension building throughout the day independent of anything going on around me. That tension demanded release on a frequent basis which I found distracting and not particularly satisfying. Good riddance!

Two weeks after ramping up on PM to 2500 mg/day, my sex drive plummeted. No build up of sexual tension has occurred since. My interest in sex shifted to an interest in intimacy with my spouse triggered by physical contact, touching, a kiss, etc. It was nice and didn't require a sexual climax to be satisfying. It's one of the things I like most about the changes that have happened since starting NBE. I don't know for sure, but I feel like now my sexual response is more like my wife's and many women.

I must say, though, that I personally never was very comfortable playing the man's role in bed, so losing the normal male arousal response and the drive (such as it was) to penetrate my lover was not unwelcome. Still, that desire does happen, and my wife also wants it now and then, so I've worked to keep my male function throughout my NBE experiment. We've been able to have normal sexual intercourse toward the end of a 7-day PM break that I take each month. One thing I discovered, is that having gone a month without orgasmic sex makes for a very powerful and pleasurable love making experience for both of us. Overall, it has improved our sexual relationship significantly.

Clara

[Marina Kits]

This question probably shows I still don't really 'get' any of this, but I was wondering why folks think it a good thing to lose interest in sex.

Much of what Clara said is true for me also but I'd add a few things from my personal situation. I've been outspoken about my desire to be rid of my sex drive for quite a while. I might be "over-correcting" a little but I've hated how my sex drive has pushed and pulled me into things I abhor my whole life, namely porn and masturbation but a few other "sinful" endeavors I'd rather not mention also. Couple that with the notion that I'm in the wrong body and therefore hate having to perform the male act all the while wishing I could be on the receiving side and it should be clear why I would like to kill my sex drive. I completely understand why you, and probably most, WOULDN'T want to; everyone is different. I haven't been successful despite taking PM, estradiol, saw palmetto, spearmint and Propecia - apparently, it doesn't want to die. However, it has gone way down. I feel like I'm in control of it 99% of the time. I've always been able to fulfill my marital duties when asked but haven't done any of the above mentioned vices for many months now. Freedom from all the guilt I used to have has been a huge blessing and it only adds fuel to the fire of hatred for my sex drive. For all the years of self loathing it has caused me, I'd be OK with parting ways with it forever ...and of course the epicenter of my manhood.

[EvaMarie]

Well Im younger, only 45... I can tell you that I started getting the urge to let "her" out at least 6 months before I started with NBE...

I was a wreck as far as my physical condition, 40-50 lbs over weight and I was having symptoms of BPH (enlarged prostate).... I was drinking like a fish and eating a terrible diet... I could barely function then, I was in bad shape and needed viagra to do the deed... But It had been 3 years since I broke up with my last GF, I was in a slump getting nowhere fast trying to find another one... Depressed is an understatement....

So Id had enough of that and cleaned up my diet, started doing some LIGHT exercise and cut back a bit on the drinking hoping to feel better and it started working, I was also taking various prostate formulas... Well eventually things got back on track and I was feeling way better than I had in years and my drive had returned in a big way....

Id always been into CD'ing and the porn that goes along with that but Id never really pursued it because I was so out of shape, just a dream for years.... I also had a lot of guilt and shame that went along with that, A LOT....

Well eventually I decided to order some girly stuff online and it was great, REALLY got me going as far as drive goes LOL...

But I was also unhappy because I was FAR far away from being anywhere near pretty

But I kept at my weight loss and diet and as my health improved so did my libido... The better I looked the more I wanted to CD, the more the wardrobe expanded ect...

Well eventually I started shaving my face, because lets face it, a dude in a dress with a beard is pretty funny looking Id worn a beard for at least 25 years up to this point so that was a big deal...

Id be able to get by with only occasional CD'ing but the desire to get girly was getting stronger and stronger... The shaving more and more frequent....

Also I began really wondering WHY I wanted this??? There was a lot of self examination going on in my head, lots of guilt and shame but also I was feeling much better about myself than I had in years... It was like "coming out" to myself and getting over all of the BS and negative self loathing.... Self acceptance and forgiveness, coming to terms with who I really am and embracing the feminine side, a little self love for a change....

Now for me at least I came to realize what really turns me on is submission to a female and not having to try to "the man"... WOW I tell you that really got me going when I learned to accept that

So eventually I get to the point I want to shave my body... Never did that before and naive me figured just slather on Nair everywhere and shazaam it gone.... All I can say is OUCH, NEVER again!!! Chemical burns all over, it was terrible... But eventually I recovered and Ive been hairless ever since....

So I start dressing girly more and more and getting better and better at it, better clothes, wig and make up ect... So one day I say screw it Im going shopping as a girl because it cant be any more humiliating than browsing the lingerie or make up isle and buying that stuff as a guy....

Those first few shopping trips were pretty uneventful and I realized I was actually getting off on it when the pretty girls would read me but they were very nice regardless... I also realized I didnt really give a damn what anyone thought, I was on a mission....

So I finally have some decent pics of myself and I find a bisexual girl friend online who's also into some VERY kinky stuff, she is DOMINANT, I am submissive....

WOW!!! This is great I can finally be myself with a woman and she actually gets off on as much as I do

So we get into chastity, lots of fun for both of us but actually pretty easy for me because Id gone off the deep end

It was a very hot almost lesbian like deal, she is not really into "normal" man/woman sex and that works for me because Im not either.... In fact I find myself having to pretend Im her doing me to really get off...

She was and is a great help for me putting myself together as far as everything girly goes.... Things get better really fast to the point she was even shocked at the way I was dropping weight and getting girlier and girlier....

Strange thing is Im finally getting in really good shape and my guy is working better than it had in YEARS... But there really is no male drive because I guess I realized that being a manly man does not turn me on and it never really did... It was something I could never quite pull off and it used to really fuck with my self esteem...

Along the way I had been researching everything I can find on TG/TS/TV/CD ect... I found this place and I thought it was interesting but I didnt really think herbs could work.... All the TG stuff I read said you gotta go to therapy and doctors and get on hormones ect...

I start seeing some similarities and can identify with the stories I read of TG girls that go on hormones... I start thinking Id really like to do that myself but Im scared...

So I end up lurking here and learning about NBE... It starts with just drinking my GF's soy milk and taking her menopause pills LOL....
Finally my curiosity got the better of me and I ordered some PM, start taking it and start seeing results

So now Im here and I think I have an addiction to this stuff, the more fem I get, the better I feel....

So wow that was a LONG story I wrote this morning, whats the point here

Well I guess to answer the OP's question for me anyway....

Its not that I WANT to kill my libido, its just that I dont really care too much about it because it never really got me off anyway and I dont miss the "man" at all....

As far as my "female" libido goes, lets just say there are other ways for a man to have an orgasm

[Miranda-nata-est]

Wow, thank you for those in depth views into your lives. It never fails to amaze me how much the beautiful folk here share of themselves and how open we can be here.

Thank you so much for the insights.

Mx