25-04-2014, 11:06 PM
Heather, I feel a bit uneasy continuing the conversation on Lotus's picture thread, but I'll risk her indignation (sorry Lotus). 
It's important to keep the conversation going, so I'm glad that is happening, Heather. My usual take on a spouse's objections to CDing is not the practice itself, but the fear of backlash if the word got out about it to friends and relatives. It's amazing how powerful stigma can be in controlling human behavior. I remember how my promising to keep my TG leanings behind closed doors made a big difference in my wife's willingness to go along with my 'peculiarity'. She still claims not to understand the 'why' of it, as if there is some logical explanation that I'm just not being forthright about, but she's come to see it as an important part of me regardless.
I found that the most progress she's made in becoming 'comfortable' with my CDing was through reading about gender identity as a congenital condition of the brain originating during fetal development distinct from physiological sexual development based on chromosomal makeup. That and the struggle that I've waged over the years to overcome it with little lasting success. I will say, however, that my DW does lean toward an analytical rather than an emotional view of the world, and that may be extremely important in breaking through years of programmed bias and common misconceptions about what constitutes gender.
Still, I see our society as a whole moving rapidly toward general acceptance of gay and lesbian relationships that I never thought possible just a decade ago. Ironically, that shift has been brought on by a reverse stigmatization of once widely held attitudes about homosexuality. By that I mean that people are encountering condemnation for expressing intolerance of same sex relationships. It should not be very difficult to extend those recent advances into the TG arena. I see some progress being made already. Our wives should be in the vanguard of those developments, don't you think? Is that any different than husbands speaking out in support of the women's movement in the 70s?
Clara
It's important to keep the conversation going, so I'm glad that is happening, Heather. My usual take on a spouse's objections to CDing is not the practice itself, but the fear of backlash if the word got out about it to friends and relatives. It's amazing how powerful stigma can be in controlling human behavior. I remember how my promising to keep my TG leanings behind closed doors made a big difference in my wife's willingness to go along with my 'peculiarity'. She still claims not to understand the 'why' of it, as if there is some logical explanation that I'm just not being forthright about, but she's come to see it as an important part of me regardless.
I found that the most progress she's made in becoming 'comfortable' with my CDing was through reading about gender identity as a congenital condition of the brain originating during fetal development distinct from physiological sexual development based on chromosomal makeup. That and the struggle that I've waged over the years to overcome it with little lasting success. I will say, however, that my DW does lean toward an analytical rather than an emotional view of the world, and that may be extremely important in breaking through years of programmed bias and common misconceptions about what constitutes gender.
Still, I see our society as a whole moving rapidly toward general acceptance of gay and lesbian relationships that I never thought possible just a decade ago. Ironically, that shift has been brought on by a reverse stigmatization of once widely held attitudes about homosexuality. By that I mean that people are encountering condemnation for expressing intolerance of same sex relationships. It should not be very difficult to extend those recent advances into the TG arena. I see some progress being made already. Our wives should be in the vanguard of those developments, don't you think? Is that any different than husbands speaking out in support of the women's movement in the 70s?
Clara
Seriously though, I used to be uncomfortable with it all, now I just don't care what anybody thinks, sorry it may sound calais but I don't know what else to say. However,!!! I won't be standing on the beach in a speedo embarrassing them either, lol. 
)
