[Elisaustin]

After two years on PM
Mentally I feel almost all female on the inside.
Meaning when I dress in full female mode it feels more natural and less like
playing dress up. Doing guy type things for me now is more of a reach where
two years ago doing female things was more of a reach.
Now its like I have to force myself to bring the male side out.
Now on a physical side growing breasts has given my mental female a boost of confidence. The reality of it is my body is like 50% male and 50% female.
Which crudely put, makes me a chick with D.
Is that enough? Is the question I keep asking myself.
Do my goofy feelings make any sense to you all?

[Samantha Rogers]

Makes perfect sense, Elisa. In many ways I feel the same way. I am now equally comfortable presenting eithrr way, although I prefer femme. Still, I dont get nearly enough opportunities to do so.

[Heather-H]

Elisa, yes, I couldn't have put it better myself ( sorry I don't want that to be construed as conceited) and I like Sami wish for more opportunity to dress more. The few times a month is far too little to satisfy my female desire, and each and every occasion seems to pass in a flash.
That's life

Love
Heather X

[Erin]

Clara, I share and feel your emotions 100%

[Erin]

Elisaustin, wow, can I relate in every way. BTW, if your avatar is you, your beautiful.

[GoneGirl]

After two years on PM
Mentally I feel almost all female on the inside.
Meaning when I dress in full female mode it feels more natural and less like
playing dress up. Doing guy type things for me now is more of a reach where
two years ago doing female things was more of a reach.
Now its like I have to force myself to bring the male side out.
Now on a physical side growing breasts has given my mental female a boost of confidence. The reality of it is my body is like 50% male and 50% female.
Which crudely put, makes me a chick with D.
Is that enough? Is the question I keep asking myself.
Do my goofy feelings make any sense to you all?

They make sense to me, Elisa. I can't say that I've shifted as much to the female presentation side as you. I still get up in the morning a put on my guy clothes, but the girl in me is not far away. She occupies my mind so much now that it gives me pause. There are a lot of things I will always like to do as a man. I can't imagine that ever changing.

My 3 month synthetic HRT is going to speed up my transition even faster. I guess I'm impatient to reach that state of equilibrium which I'm assuming is somewhere around the corner. Or is it?

I'm still reluctant to burn any bridges, just in case I overshoot. I guess that's my biggest concern at the moment. I tend to pursue things with an intensity that can be overwhelming at times. Is it NBE, or just the discovery of my female gender id that is propelling me along a path of gender transition?

My GD in the past was always confined to the periphery rather than the core of my life. It was bothersome, it was uncomfortable, but it didn't have the potential to turn my life upside down. NBE seems to have been the catalyst for doing exactly that. Is that your experience, Elisa? Where do you ultimately see yourself going in your transition?

I'm not regretting taking up this course, but I'd like to know where it's going to end up and when. I want the final destination to be a happier place, not one that has its own assortment of negatives. I know, it's too much to ask that. I had to run the course to find out. But, I'm watching my sisters Sammie and Eva closely for clues and guidance. You girls are wonderful. That's what's so great about this forum. I'm so fortunate to have all of you to listen and talk to.

Clara

[Elisaustin]

Yes my experience so far has been that NBE has sent me farther into the unknown than I realized when I started it.
It has also given me great joy along the way and some heart aches too.
I just turned 40 in December and still wonder where this is leading me to.
Those bridges you mention are tricky. I have burned my share and most likely will burn a few more before I get to to where I want to be.
Everybody's circumstances are different but still have the same things in common. Jobs,spouses,family,friends.
I have managed to engineer my life around most of the obstacles.
As far as female presentation, there is a time and a place for everything.
Wearing a sun dress and heels to a NASCAR race is not a good idea no matter how good you look lol.
Finding the happy medium is there if you use common sense and work at it.

I agree Clara some of the nicest people in the world are here.

[MissC]

Maybe my conscious feeling or understanding of my gender-split personality is tied to an ongoing process of discovery.

While I suppose trying to empirically understand one's own brain is a worthwhile effort, it presents a moving target.

Every new thing we learn, every new piece of data, and every new conclusion we draw from that data, changes who we are. It changes our baselines, changes our semantics, and it changes the means by which we acquire further understanding.

I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm not even the same person I was 10 days ago.

I believe that once you realize that as you learn, so you must evolve, so you will not expend so much energy on trying to pin yourself down and put yourself in a box. It's fine to use boxes to move things from place to place, or for storage, but things left in boxes forever just take up space and become junk someday.

Who wants to live in a box?

It was Napoleon Hill in "Think and Grow Rich" who said "what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve." It really is just another (albeit in clever rhyme) way of saying the universal truth we call the Law of Attraction. We become what we set our minds to be. And if we don't like what we become, we can change again. And sometimes, if we're not fully and consciously in control of that process, we can become something we don't want to be.

When you learn the power you have, you must also learn wisdom in its application.

[Heather-H]

I agree Clara some of the nicest people in the world are here.

Elisa, I wholehearted agree with you. It just goes to show when your heart is in the right place there is so much love and peace that can be disseminated .

In my brief posting time I have found untold support, love and thoughtfulness that I would struggle to recall in my years.

Hugs to you all

Heather XXX

[flamesabers]

When first I discovered that I was a crossdreamer (a crossdreamer is a gender-variant person who is aroused by fantasies of being or becoming the opposite sex), and first came out to my wife about my nature, I told her that my gender identity was 70% male and 30% female. Today, I would update that to closer to 50/50. Was it always 50/50 and I simply wasn't aware of it, or has NBE, and the effects of estrogen, caused the shift?

If the latter, wonder if I should expect a further shifting of my gender identity. Could I reach the point where my female side begins to dominate?

Clara,

I think it depends on how flexible and encompassing your gender identity is. What is your optimal gender identity? I don't know.

If NBE herbs start to alter your mental health beyond your comfort levels, I would expect you would start to feel ever-increasing levels of anxiety and perhaps even despair. It wouldn't be unheard of I think that if things went too far you would have serious second thoughts about pursuing NBE.

Maybe the question to ask yourself isn't whether you could reach the point of being mostly "female minded," but how comfortable you would feel about such a possibility.