[Black Hippie]

Wow, I'm now a little afraid about having my future children. At first I was only worried about evil plastic surgery doctors. What is the safest way to deliver a baby (Future reference)

[Anastasia916]

I only have one child, so maybe someone else with multiple children can give better advice on this. I'd say you will be fine, I just got unlucky, went into labor while my doctor was on vacation and I ended up with a bad doctor substitute. It was just bad luck, nothing more. My story is severe to some, but I've heard worse so I feel fortunate, and I was told I would never have kids, so he is my miracle. I'd say statistically births nowadays go alot better than they use to. The odds are in your favor, don't let my bad experience discourage you. I'm still here and healthy, my son is a healthy (and rambunctious lol) 5 year old. Besides a hearing problem he had (my mom's side of the family has it, so it's hereditary) he is a normal 5 year old, he goes to speech therapy for him to catch up now since he can hear, but as far as being smart otherwise he has his strong points that surpass some his age, for example he can do puzzles that are for 9 year olds or older. When he wants to color (lol notice the "wants") he can color on a level of a 9 or 10 year old. He colors inside the lines very well, normally does coloring true to life. Etc. etc. So yea, don't be discouraged, I'm sure when the time is right and you are ready (definitely don't rush it!) you will be fine.

[Black Hippie]

Luckily, I won't have a baby for a while, but I'm still a little scared. I want to yet I don't

[Bibi]

Well don´t worry about it Black Hippie, nowadays it´s quite easy to deliver a baby!

It does help to investigate a bit about different births when you´re pregnant, and maybe visit more than one doctor or midwife so you can make an informed choice. Where I live it is a bit difficult to do this, most doctors prefer to have a planned c section because it makes it easier for them, they don´t have to get out of their beds in the middle of the night and of course they can charge more for their services if they perform an operation. Of course, not all of them are like that, but it is kind of "fashionable" to do this. And if you aren´t too informed, or don´t care, they will perform an unnecessary c section. I was lucky that a friend of mine had her baby just before I got pregnant, she is very much into natural medicine and such and she had her son with this midwife, so that is why I got to have my kids in a more natural way.

But the thing is that you can´t really plan a delivery, I think it always goes a bit different than you imagined - sometimes a baby will pop out when you were on your way to hospital, or there is some last minute problem and you have to have a c section when you wanted a natural birth, for example. So it´s best not to take it to heart if you end up doing it in a different way, in the end the important thing is that you and your baby are healthy.

[Black Hippie]

Well don´t worry about it Black Hippie, nowadays it´s quite easy to deliver a baby!

It does help to investigate a bit about different births when you´re pregnant, and maybe visit more than one doctor or midwife so you can make an informed choice. Where I live it is a bit difficult to do this, most doctors prefer to have a planned c section because it makes it easier for them, they don´t have to get out of their beds in the middle of the night and of course they can charge more for their services if they perform an operation. Of course, not all of them are like that, but it is kind of "fashionable" to do this. And if you aren´t too informed, or don´t care, they will perform an unnecessary c section. I was lucky that a friend of mine had her baby just before I got pregnant, she is very much into natural medicine and such and she had her son with this midwife, so that is why I got to have my kids in a more natural way.

But the thing is that you can´t really plan a delivery, I think it always goes a bit different than you imagined - sometimes a baby will pop out when you were on your way to hospital, or there is some last minute problem and you have to have a c section when you wanted a natural birth, for example. So it´s best not to take it to heart if you end up doing it in a different way, in the end the important thing is that you and your baby are healthy.

Yeah, you are right. I will be ready when the times comes, but for now I'm still terrified at the thought of pain. I scream at a simple blood test lol. I cant even imagine what I would do giving birth. Women are soo tough in order to take the pain.

[Anastasia916]

I think every woman has that fear of the unknown in their first pregnancy, my fear wasn't really in giving birth and the pain, it was if things went wrong and I needed a c-section, I'm terrified of surgery because I had a dream before that I was having surgery done, for what not sure, and I had anesthesia awakeness, I believe that's what it's called when you are under anesthesia and they think you are asleep and not feeling everything, but in reality your brain is still awake and you feel EVERYTHING you just can't respond. In the movie called "Awake" a guy has open heart surgery and has it. But yea, I have a high tolerance to pain, so I might be a lil different then others on my opinion with this, but I had back labor, where my contractions were in my back, they say it's the worst type of labor because it's the most painful. And really it wasn't the worst pain I went through in my life, sure it's no picnic, but I was actually expecting worse. It's kind of like when you are a virgin and you imagine your first time to be soo magical and special lol then it happens and you're like, is that it? LOL, same thing here, I had it in my mind that labor was the worst thing in the world, but I've experienced worse. I did have an epidural but it wasn't until I was dilated to 8 cm, barely making the cut for me to get one because the anesthesiologist was busy that night with a life or death situation, so I almost didn't get one. But mine actually wore off, I felt the last 20 min of labor, it was just feeling a little bit of it at first, then from pushing the shoulders down I had complete feeling back. I even felt some of him sowing me back up. Nowadays when you get an epidural you have a tube going into your spine hooked to a machine that when you need more medicine you push a button and it gives you more, when I started to get feeling back, I told my mom to press it, the doctor told her NOT TO!!! It's like wtf? That's what it's there for dipshit, how bout you push a baby out your tiny penis hole and let me deny you medicine. UGH that's why I'm never having a male doctor again. So my mom listened to the doctor, I couldn't reach the button and push at the same time, and at the time I was more worried about my son since they couldn't find his heartbeat and at the same time having the dipshit doctor tell me not to push. I was actually one of those calm pregnant and in labor type of women, I didn't yell or cuss at anyone, all the nurses loved me cause I was so easy going, hell I was making jokes about everything, but I sure enough cussed and yelled that doctor in the ground. At one point I told him that if I could move I would knock his ass out with my fists lol. I kept telling him just to come a lil closer, if he had I damn sure would have punched him, in the face. But yea, everyone makes birth out to be a horror story, but in my opinion it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, you will be surprised what you can handle when it comes down to it, your maternal instincts kick in way before the baby is born.

[macojaco]

Anastasia, i'm so sorry you had such a dramatic delivery! I've had two emergency c-sections myself after relatively quick labors (12 hours each time). The first time was b/c my son's cord was wrapped around his neck, so when i went to push his heartbeat dropped way too low. When he came out he actually wasn't breathing and they wouldn't let me see him for the first 10 mins or so, but when i heard him cry it was the happiest moment of my life The second time my placenta started to rupture...that was no joke scary! But they got him out quick enough that neither of us needed a blood transfusion! I did it both times with no pain med untill the c-section, and the second time they just knocked me out cause there was no time for them to get a needle in! The first time going through labor i had back labor which i have to say was easier than the second, but that might've been because of the rupture! That for me is what made it umbearable! I was literally screaming! Little embarrasing the next day! Lol! I was apologizing to everyone for being so loud! But even with all that, we're still planning on maybe going for one more -i wanna have a girl as i have two boys now! I agree with the maternal instinct kicking in! I think the scariest part for me was not thinking about the birth, it was the AFTER the birth! Like, what if i don't know what he wants or how to sooth him?!! Haha! Second time around is MUCH more relaxing that way, and i can just slow down and enjoy every moment with him and worry about what to do next! It'll come on it's own

[Anastasia916]

Maco, my son was the same, cord around his neck, forgot to mention that, that might have been why they couldn't find his heartbeat when he dropped into the birth canal. He came out blue, not breathing, etc. I actually seen him being worked on though, because he was still attached to me. And yes hearing him cry when he came to is that instant sense of relief. A friend I use to babysit for, her 3rd child was stillborn, so I was scared to say the least. I literally peed myself, have no clue how I even had anything in my bladder after all the pushing, but nerves do surprise you. I wouldn't say 12 hours is a quick labor lol, friends and family had their babies within hours after their water broke, mine broke and I didn't give birth until 12 or so hours later. A friend of mine, she had contractions, went to the hospital and her water broke there, her baby came out on the stretcher while on the way to the delivery room! So within minutes! She said it was so quick she barely felt anything, and that's with NO MEDS! I told her she was sooo lucky it was in the hospital. C-sections scare the hell out of me, you are much braver than I am. But again I have a phobia about surgeries. And wow a ruptured placenta! That sound absolutely horrific. I'm glad you and your babies are safe and healthy now. I didn't worry too much about after birth in taking care of my son, I had raised my younger sister from when I was 5 and she was born until my real mother remarried when my sister was 3 I was 8. And I had been taking care of everyone else's kids. The only new things for me was breastfeeding, no one else in my family did it, but the lactation consultant helped me with everything I needed. The only other after birth worries I had, when the doctor was done with his BS and I was able to move, I pushed the button on the epidural machine, and well... my effects after that didn't wear off for 2 days. I was unable to move from the under bust down for nearly a day, they told me I may be paralyzed. Which me having scoliosis was a possibility from the git go having a baby with him laying on my spine. I was having nervous system issues the past 2 months of pregnancy because of it, like legs giving out, etc. Then after I got feeling back, they gave me some pain meds for my pain from being sown down there, my vagina was so swollen it looked like I had two butts! Not even kidding! I walked like a duck for the first 3 months of my son's life, remember the doctor sowed me up wrong and I was having nerve issues from it. Well the pain meds they gave me were tylenol 3, little to my knowledge or anyone else's I was allergic to codeine, the main ingredient. I went into a dangerously high fever, convulsions, etc. etc. and they said they only gave me a 1/4 of the normal adult dosage. So a full dosage would definitely be fatal to me. I was in the hospital after birth for 3 1/2 days. Longer than normal cause of the after birth issues, and my son was jaundice also, not severe but enough that he was needed there as well. They say he was jaundice because of our counteracting blood types, I'm an O type (I always forget if I'm negative or positive) and he's AB+ they say any O type with any AB type is more likely to cause jaundice in the baby. Yea, to some my first pregnancy, birth and beginning of motherhood for me was horrific, but I've heard of alot worse, so I feel fortunate, and medically I shouldn't be able to have children. I never fully developed my uterus. It's narrow compared to most adults. I'm not technically suppose to carry a child past 3 months. And my son was full term, other than the jaundice was healthy. And I feel fortunate that against all odds I'm not paralyzed from pregnancy and labor. I'm hoping since I'm matured more body wise that my next pregnancy will be better. My cousin has 3 kids, she said the 1st was the worst. That after that they just start walking out lol.

Oh and no need to feel sorry, without the bad experiences in life we can't enjoy and even acknowledge the good, much less appreciate the good.

[macojaco]

OMG!!! I can't even imagine the thought of possibly being paralyzed!!! Wow! I'm glad things worked out though for the best! I admire how you can see the positive side of everything! And i guess everyone was setting me up to prepare for like 36 hours plus of labor the first time around, so when it was only 12 i thought i did good!=) And i sure didn't want to be one of those that went to the hospital too early! Lol! So my water broke at home, and i waited till my contractions were 3 mins apart to go to the hospital. I really didn't have time to get scared the second time with the rupture...i was doing good, breathing through my contractions, and then like within two contractions everything just went scary painful. But they kept telling me i was just gonna push and be ok. Well, my doc didn't expect me to go that soon and she was in an operation then. Then (according to my hubby anyway) i let out a flood of blood, and they all started panicking and call for any available doc to come NOW! Well my doc walked in and was like, um she needs to be in the operating room right now! But like i said, it all didn't hit me untill i woke up after the surgery! I hated that i had to have two c sections, cause now i feel like i'll never loose that excess skin unless i get a tummy tuck Would like to try again for a vaginal birth next time if possible cause i hear the recovery is quicker. Well, that is if you don't have a wacked up doc like you did! I'd've been PISSED! Like i went through all that pregnancy, labor and birth only for you to mess me up?!!! I can't complain much i guess cause even with two c sections you really can't see my scar so they did a good job that way. Oh, and you gotta love the military medical...they sent me home with Motrin! Lol! Like that's suppose to help! I swear, the people that give out the medicine never went through ANYTHING! Oh, well...lets hope that my third time around- geeze, do i really want three??!! - and your second if you decide to, will go MUCH smoother!!

[Anastasia916]

LMFAO I'm a Navy wife, my son was born before I married a sailor, so was in a civilian hospital, but since being married into military... I fully understand the whole military medical situation, they are really idiots sometimes. They give motrin for everything... oh you're having a baby? here, motrin will help lol. Oh, your head is gashed open, here take this motrin, it'll go away. Oh your appendix busted? Oh this will clear the pain right up, it's the miraculous...MOTRIN! LOL

They give that crap out here (we're stationed in GITMO, Cuba) like candy. Hubby and son both are accident prone, we've been to the hospital here oh, I don't know, at least 20 or so times to the ER with one of them getting hurt someway. My son has gashed his head open twice, once here and once in the states. He almost broke his nose, that was the most recent trip to the ER, he fell on the playground at school. Then there was a time he fell at the playground at school and he fell on a nail and it stuck in his hand. Fun times, fun times, oh the memories lol. Then my hubby, he gashed his head open in the states, here, he's been bite really bad in his hand on xmas/his bday by one of our cats. The dog scared her and she bite him. He's fell a few times hurting various things, and now he has a knee issue that they are saying is Runner's Knee, and he's had episodes where the pain is excruciating, so he goes to the ER, and what do they give? MOTRIN lol. Heck when my son hurt his nose they gave him a small dose of Tylenol 3, you would think if they give a kid a big pain killer like that, and my son said it hurt but he wasn't crying, but he's tough like me, that they would give my hubby some good pain meds for his knee *rolls eyes* they are idiots.

And I'm just that type of person, when in bad situations I make jokes out of everything to cope with it. You should have seen me when I went into labor lol. My water broke shortly after waking up from sleeping in on a Saturday, I woke up at 10:30, got ready and me and my ex (son's father) was about to leave to go get something to eat, I had to go pee first, peed, stood up and there it broke all over the floor. First thing I said was "shit! get a mop, I just flooded the bathroom". He panicked like an idiot, started rushing me to leave, I said "I'm getting a shower first". Yea, at the hospital I was having everyone crack up. So my ex rushed me in the car, me kicking and screaming at him to at least let me change my clothes. Then on the way to the hospital I told him I was hungry and to stop somewhere on the way. He said no, asshole. I told him they weren't going to let me eat, and I hadn't ate since about 8pm the night before. Well I get in the ER and I'm the type of pregnancy that is all belly, my pants are soaked. And I go up to the check in desk, dumbass lady behind the desk asked me what I was there for, my reply "oh, I'm here cause I peed myself and I stuffed a watermelon under my shirt for good measure". Everyone in the ER laughed their asses off. She said, omg you're in labor!? I said nah, like I said, all watermelon and I like peeing myself. She panicked as bad as my ex pulled me in the back and told someone to come get me, after standing waiting for 5 min I seen a wheelchair and went to sit down, some idiot said for me not to sit there for sanitation reasons, I just looked at him, gave an evil grin and blopped down. Even after sitting it took them like 15 more min before a guy, that wasn't even aware I was in labor, just a medic in the ER, looked over and asked if anyone was helping me, I told him they were suppose to be taking me to delivery, but before I could finish telling him he got behind the wheel chair and just started pushing me there. Saying he was sorry they forgot about me the entire way. I said, well I did tell the idiot at the front desk that I had peed myself and stuffed a watermelon under my shirt, so she probably thought this wasn't an emergency lol. He just laughed. Then of course I asked for food and was denied, told only ice chips, I gave my ex the evil eye.

Yea, I joke about everything, sometimes people think I do it cause I'm being a smartass and don't care. That's not why, I just see no point in panicking and getting upset, that doesn't help the situation whatsoever. When my son hurt his nose, I told the doctor he did it cause he wanted a nose job, the doctor laughed knew I was joking. A nurse gave me the evil eye as to say I didn't care about my child. If my child was in that bad of pain or was really hurt, he would have been crying and screaming, he was fine. He was actually playing around most the time to. He takes after me in that aspect.

Heck, on my check up after having my son, my pap came up bad, I was told by the doctor that I had cervical cancer. He started to tell me in a way like he thought I was going to start crying or something. I just asked "well tell me the truth, how bad is it?" he said that it was pretty bad, that he would try to freeze the cells off, but after so many treatments of that and it didn't work that I might have to have surgery. Then if that didn't work, more drastic measures. I just said, "alright when can we get the first treatment started, the bastard cells are getting pussy for free, living for free in there, they didn't even have the decency to pay rent. So lets evict their asses". And I laughed. He was in shock for a minute then he laughed too and said that they would set up the appointment for treatment in the next 2 days. I went to 1 treatment, came back for a check up/2nd treatment. After testing the cells he came back in the room and jaw basically on the floor, he said, I can't believe this, you had alot of cancerous cells, but it's all gone, but I do want to keep a close eye on you, I want you back here once a month for 4 months, then we'll go to once every 3 months. I said okay and that I was serious about evicting the bastards, no rent, no stay lol. He just laughed.

I don't know, I think people are too serious, yea bad crap happens, that's life. Why let it get you down? It's pointless. Like right now, my hubby is having knee issues, his reenlistment is in 3 months and he might not be able to stay in cause of his knee. If they discharge him, sure it will be hard at first, but I've been through worse, and it could always be worse. And people wonder why I'm so calm through everything, I just know that getting upset doesn't solve anything. You always gotta keep your hopes up.

Oh and as far as c-sections, I heard once you have one that you can't have a vaginal birth after, is that right? My cousin had one with her first child and they wouldn't let her deliver vaginally with the second. Her scar is little too, she uses mederma on it and it's basically completely gone now. You don't notice it unless you look really hard at it.