[GoneGirl]

Last Saturday, I joined and attend a meeting of a CD/TG support group not far from where I live. I dressed up as pretty as I could, and took my wife along for moral support. I was welcomed with hugs and fell into the spirit of the place rather quickly. I'm very pleased with how the whole evening went.

So what's the epiphany? Well, this may seem stupid, but I now realize that I am not 'male' nor am I 'female'. I'm 'trans'. I deserve to be recognized as a member of a legitimate gender class along with 'male' and 'female'.

What does being trans mean in this binary gendered world? It means that if our society was on top of what goes on out there, along with the gender/sex designation choices 'male' and 'female' (like on your drivers license) there should be a third choice: 'trans' or maybe 'other'.

Being in a room full of transgendered people, it became so obvious that we are a separate class of gender that currently is not officially recognized. Some of us try to look and sound as much like a woman as possible. Some don't bother changing their male appearance much at all. Others fall at all different points in between. But, our common bond is that we all have some measure of cross gender identity.

It's not the label that matters so much. It's the realization that the way we fit into society is distinct from that of a cismale or a cisfemale.

Does this strike a chord with anyone else?

Clara

[flamesabers]

Clara,

I'm glad to hear the support meeting was a very pleasant experience for you.

As far as being outside the box of 'male' and 'female' gender identities, I have long since identified with this position. I think the second part of my user title says all.

[lovedebbii]

You know I've always though that should be the case. I watch a documentary once about a place where they had more than 2 genders. I think there were 5 and I though it made a whole lot of sense. I've realize here that it's not as black and white as someone saying I'm a female in a man's body or a male in a female's body but there is a whole lot of range in-between that gets pretty neglected.

[Marina Kits]

I came away from my Chi Chapter outing with the startling realization that I am a transgender, a trans, not a male, but not a female either. Did I know that before? Honestly, no I didn't. I thought of myself as two different people one male and the other female. But, now I see myself as one person who is transgender, 100% of the time. In a way it's therapeutic to latch onto that rock as something solid in a world that has been anything but solid over the past year.
Clara

This quote, from another thread, is articulated in a way that makes more sense to me. I have been in those shoes. It was a year ago last February, shortly before I found this forum and began my journey. Actually maybe a little before that but the most memorable event for me was telling my wife, out load, that I was transgender. She knew I was something like that but I had never used that word to describe myself. It was like I had been mute my whole life and those were the first words I'd ever spoken. Broken, scratchy and shakily, I muttered, "I'm transgendered". It was a milestone for me as well as for her. I really am part of that much misunderstood, sometimes despised and occasionally victimized group of social outcasts. I am Transgendered. Strange as that event was, it was a turning point for me because I had finally stepped over the threshold and into a new world where I could begin dealing with and accepting myself for who I really am. Until that point, I had been stuck in a place of unhappiness, unable to change or accept my uniqueness. Now I am moving on, embracing a part of me that has endured way too much darkness and abuse. My outside was killing my inside. Now I am one with a little... maybe a lot, of give and take from both dimensions. By the time I went to my first transgendered meeting, it was absolutely no big deal at all although like a breath of fresh air. What would have been extremely uncomfortable was nothing at all. They are PEOPLE just like everyone else and worthy of love and respect ...just like me.