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Joined: Oct 2011
I'm finally stepping out of the shadows to introduce myself. I'm Robyn, I'm 34 and I live in Savannah, GA. I'm married with 3 children and my wife has no idea I have any desires to grow female breasts let alone eventually transition into the woman I have felt inside of me since the age of 5. If she knew she'd disappear so quick and I'd never see my kids again. But alas, I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not.
I've definitely always dreamed of transitioning, it just feels so out of my control or reach. A few years ago I had tried some NBE with Fenugreek, Saw Palmetto, & Estoven. I even stole my wife's stash of birth control and secretly took those while she was pregnant because she had thrown them out anyways. I had minor development and my nipples have stayed more sensitive but I still look like I've got hairy man boobs. I don't want to be with men so I guess I'm a lesbian, I'd be happy if I could stay with my wife but she would be gone so quick.
My other problem is that I'm active duty military, and while they have made progress by allowing gay soldiers they have not found a place for TGs in their ranks.
Short term I think I'm going to start on a moderate dose of PM and see where that will take me, I think I have a decent starting point from when I dabbled with the herbs before.
Anyways that's the skinny on me. I'm happy to officially introduce myself to you all..
-Robyn
Posts: 446
Threads: 7
Joined: Jan 2014
Welcome Robyn.
I think a lot of the people in this section started out very similar, both with the desires and significant others that don't necessarily understand. For me, mine has known from the beginning about some of my fetishes and wants, but at the moment still does not know of my breast growth regiment...though she knows I takes lots of herbs and by now certainly she's noted some changes. At some point mine will find out as will yours, as eventually their will be no hiding it. I'm former military, but work in a predominantly male career that follows much of what I did in the military, so not sure how the company would react if I took this all the way. Guess I'm taking it one step at a time.
Breast of luck in your journey!
Posts: 2,409
Threads: 58
Joined: Oct 2013
Welcome, Robyn.
You seem so sure your wife wouldn't tolerate your TG nature. How do you know that? I thought the same way, but when I finally came out to my O&O she eventually became supportive. I couldn't bare the shame and guilt of continuing to go behind her back. I'm glad I took the chance on telling her. Of course, it might not have worked out the way it did, so one has to be careful. Somehow test her attitudes beforehand.
Good luck on your NBE program.
Clara
Posts: 1,543
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Joined: Aug 2013
Easy way to find out, one day, say, at dinner, tell her that a friend of a friend is getting a sex change from man to woman and see how she reacts to that. That'll give you SOME idea of how she feels about it, BUT, it may NOT quite tell you how she feels about YOU doing it!! she may think it's cool for someone else to do it, but not for you to. Or, she may think that guy is a real freaky sicko, but, she might be very supportive of YOU doing it. At least you MIGHT have some idea of how she feels about it! Maybe you can very casually muscle the conversation over to how she'd feel if YOU did it!!
Posts: 8
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Joined: Oct 2011
Trust me, I know exactly what her reaction would be. The conversation has come up before (not about me but I've tap danced around it to see how she'd possible respond) and her reaction was very negative. Basically a very bigoted and crude response. I'm opting to make what changes I can without her knowledge because this process doesn't occur overnight. Of course she'll eventually figure out something is up but maybe by then I can get her used to the idea that I'm developing breasts without her really knowing what's going on. (Ease her into it without her knowing what I'm really doing).
Posts: 2,409
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Joined: Oct 2013
You know best, Robyn, but doing it behind her back is a risky strategy, too. Even you admit that eventually she will find out. What will her reaction be to your not having been honest with her? Bigotry is learned behavior, so it can be unlearned, as well. 'Unlearning' needs to occur before she can learn to accept your TG nature.
Clara
Posts: 57
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Joined: May 2014
14-06-2014, 03:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 14-06-2014, 03:19 PM by
Jordyn Michelle.)
(14-06-2014, 01:16 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: You know best, Robyn, but doing it behind her back is a risky strategy, too. Even you admit that eventually she will find out. What will her reaction be to your not having been honest with her? Bigotry is learned behavior, so it can be unlearned, as well. 'Unlearning' needs to occur before she can learn to accept your TG nature.
Clara
Robyn, I can agree 100% with Clara. As a recommendation you should stop your regimen ASAP and sit down with your wife and discuss your issues or even see a counselor who is good with GID issues or at least active in the LGBT community. I can recommend a good one in Atlanta that I saw for 3 sessions before making a mistake thinking I was over my issue. From personal experience once you open up to your wife be willing to listen and take it slow. I opened up way too quickly once I was caught in the act of CDing and thus because a flood gate of feelings and information were released to my wife I dove in head first and scared her off. Another thing you may consider do is looking into a chapter with
TriEss as they have a local chapter in Atlanta called
Sigma Epsilon who meet every month. I myself attended one meeting with my wife but when she personally told me she just couldn't do it (live with someone who CDs) I immediately got cold feet and stopped going for the sake of saving my marriage which did not help so I may re-attend at some point once I personally figure out where I lay with my GID. Best of luck to you and feel free if you have any other questions to reach out to this great community.
Posts: 10
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Joined: Jun 2014
Welcome Robyn. I'm new here as well with some of the same concerns as you.
I can agree that only you know what's best for your situation, I also know that you have great unbiased support here.
Kae
Posts: 1,955
Threads: 58
Joined: Aug 2010
Hi Robyn,
Well arriving late to the conversation as always, LOL, I want to say welcome.
Having spent years in the closet myself, I can say I have enormous empathy and compassion for your situation. And I will never judge you or condemn you in any way for whatever you decide to do. Having "the talk" is a stressful and sometimes dangerous thing to do. One thing about a secret is that once it is told it can never be untold.
That said, I wish I had had my talk with my wife many years earlier.
This whole business, as much as we fight against it and struggle to deny it, does not go away. Sure, it may recede for periods, but it always comes back. And with age it often gets stronger. I would suggest, humbly, that the others are offering good advice. That said, whatever decision you make is your business, and we are all here to help and support in any way we can.
Welcome to the family, sweetheart!
Hugs
Sammie
