(24-06-2014, 03:02 PM)spanky Wrote: (24-06-2014, 02:39 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: (24-06-2014, 01:41 PM)spanky Wrote: One observation I would note is that I expected my buds to start to reappear and become tender, but nothing of the sort has happened. Rather, I just have a general "plumping" effect on my breasts, along with softening of the nipples -- something I noticed previously when I began taking WP extract separately a couple of months ago.
Hi Spanky,
Your most recent progress pics were posted in March of this year (good growth to be sure, congrats). In the ensuing three months have you progressed, regressed, stayed steady? Do you have a better idea of what you want to achieve through NBE?
Clara
Hi Clara -
A little after posting the March pics, I went on hiatus from PM, and took only AAs (spearmint and WP). i was interested in seeing what would happen to my breast development and to suspend growth temporarily. It definitely suspended the growth. After about 20 days, my buds had subsided substantially, to the point where they had receded into the depths, so to speak. All tenderness had dissipated. As a result, my breasts felt much less dense or solid. About 8 or 9 days ago, I resumed PM as outlined above. Overall, my breasts seem a little smaller than in March, and softer. Same for my nipples.
As for my goals, I remain a crazy mixed up fool. Initially, I was daunted by the thought of coming out to family and friends. More recently, there is a new rascal of an inhibition. I began to think/believe that if I proceeded full-tilt, I would only look like a botched hybrid, like a tree grafted in some bizarre way, part oak and part evergreen if you will. So that is where I am today. I would love to be able to present as a woman in flower, but don't believe I can pull it off. I may just have to remain a shrub!
I know how you feel, Spanky. I've read several books to date about the experiences of transsexuals, and I'm not sure I have the strength to go through what is required to fully transition, and I hope I don't have to. It is a daunting process emotionally and physically. I've met a couple of TS women lately and had a chance to talk about their experiences. Their words only reinforced the perception that the risks one faces in deciding to go down that path are huge.
The key is to find that 'middle ground' where one's dysphoria is reduced to a tolerable level. Where that point is for me is still a huge question. I haven't reached it yet. Why? I don't know why -- I've come so far already, but the train keeps moving down the track.
I used to think it a ridiculous notion that I could resemble a woman enough to make a successful transition. And, I know today that I could never be the woman I've dreamed of being. Being transgender is a cruel trick unlike other birth defects that are easier to understand.
But, my thinking is changing. There are lots of transwomen that are not attractive. It isn't a question of whether they 'pass' or not, it's a question of matching their gender identity to their gender role even if the gender role part falls short. I also now see the tremendous power of HRT to transform the male body to one that is much more feminine in appearance. It takes a couple of years of consistent treatment, but the results are truly amazing. I think I could achieve a somewhat adequate physical transformation. Do I want to? Yes and no. As my wife says, all we can do is take it a step at a time. Eventually I'll reach my place of comfort.
I hope that everyone on this forum can match their place on the gender spectrum to a presentation and life style that brings mental peace and contentment to their lives. Unfortunately, there is no recipe for achieving that end. We all have to discover the best course for ourselves.
Good luck on your pursuit of that dream, Spanky.
Clara