If I don't change soon ill most likely die.

Thanks for listening.
Besitos
- kayley

Sounds like you had a few rough spots! :-( It's great that you're finally going to transition!! It IS a long process, and quite expensive, but, I'm pretty sure you'll be happy with the results!! At least I HOPE you will!!
DON'T give up, now!!!! You're already on the road to where you want to go!! It's also great that you SEEM to have a lot of familial support!! Most TS girls have a VERY hard time once their family knows!! It's strange how the people who are SUPPOSED to love you the most no matter what are the most judgmental!! Luckily, you don't have that!!
There was a movie I saw on t.v. a few years ago about a Hispanic boy who wanted to be a girl. I forget the name of it, but, sadly, his "friends" killed him either just before or after he got the operation. Maybe some of it will be inspiring to you. After the movie, the guy that played the boy and the woman who played his mother did a PSA about it trying to implore family and friends of TS's to THINK and take the time to understand what's going on with their friend/family member.
Good luck, Kayley!!!! :-)

If I don't change soon ill most likely die.

Thanks for listening.
Besitos
- kayley

Sounds like you had a few rough spots! :-( It's great that you're finally going to transition!! It IS a long process, and quite expensive, but, I'm pretty sure you'll be happy with the results!! At least I HOPE you will!!
DON'T give up, now!!!! You're already on the road to where you want to go!! It's also great that you SEEM to have a lot of familial support!! Most TS girls have a VERY hard time once their family knows!! It's strange how the people who are SUPPOSED to love you the most no matter what are the most judgmental!! Luckily, you don't have that!!
There was a movie I saw on t.v. a few years ago about a Hispanic boy who wanted to be a girl. I forget the name of it, but, sadly, his "friends" killed him either just before or after he got the operation. Maybe some of it will be inspiring to you. After the movie, the guy that played the boy and the woman who played his mother did a PSA about it trying to implore family and friends of TS's to THINK and take the time to understand what's going on with their friend/family member.
Good luck, Kayley!!!! :-)

Thank u so much for the encouragement. Ur gonna make me cry. Love u guys

If I don't change soon ill most likely die.

Thanks for listening.
Besitos
- kayley

Sounds like you had a few rough spots! :-( It's great that you're finally going to transition!! It IS a long process, and quite expensive, but, I'm pretty sure you'll be happy with the results!! At least I HOPE you will!!
DON'T give up, now!!!! You're already on the road to where you want to go!! It's also great that you SEEM to have a lot of familial support!! Most TS girls have a VERY hard time once their family knows!! It's strange how the people who are SUPPOSED to love you the most no matter what are the most judgmental!! Luckily, you don't have that!!
There was a movie I saw on t.v. a few years ago about a Hispanic boy who wanted to be a girl. I forget the name of it, but, sadly, his "friends" killed him either just before or after he got the operation. Maybe some of it will be inspiring to you. After the movie, the guy that played the boy and the woman who played his mother did a PSA about it trying to implore family and friends of TS's to THINK and take the time to understand what's going on with their friend/family member.
Good luck, Kayley!!!! :-)

Thank u so much for the encouragement. Ur gonna make me cry. Love u guys

Girls are supposed to cry! Turn on the waterworks, babe!! :-)

For many of us, and I include myself in this group, bringing our bodies into alignment with our inner gender identity is the only way we know how to ease our GD. The misalignment of body and soul is the very source of our dysphoria, and had we addressed our gender identity issues while still young, we likely would have transitioned to life as a girl and a woman and avoided the suffering that many of us have endured for decades.

Those of us who for one reason or another did not transition early, and are only now doing something about it, are at a terrible disadvantage with so many years passing under the effects of testosterone. CD clubs provide some GD relief certainly, but not complete escape.

I guess that's why I keep pushing the boundaries day by day, moving inch by inch, trying to close the gap between my true self and the image of that true self that I hold dear. I will never completely accomplish that goal despite hours and hours of time and thousands of dollars attempting to do so. I don't even know if in the end I'll think it was all worth it.

Transgenderism that is not treated early in life becomes a chronic condition that too often brings frustration, humiliation, impoverishment, even death.

Without support networks like we have here at BN, the despair of transgenderism would be unbearable.

Comments?

Clara

I, too, think it's great that we can turn to each other for support and encouragement!! And, yes, being TS SHULD be dealt with VERY early on!! Why force someone to go through hell when the answer that'll make them so VERY happy is so simple and easily (to a degree) attainable?? It's a downright dirty SHAME that, here we are in the 21st century and we're STILL living according to standards from the 19th and 18th centuries and beyond!!!! How archaic!!!! Step into the present, already!! At least I DO see a LOT more people supporting than demeaning!! That's a GREAT sign!! So is, "Hojo's all you can eat breakfast buffet for $5.00!!".

I think 99% of the reason it is not seen to early on (and later in many cases as well) is down to plain and simply to Fear in one form or another.

and much of it is driven by asinine Social Ideals that are as nonsensical still believing the earth is flat.

I think 99% of the reason it is not seen to early on (and later in many cases as well) is down to plain and simply to Fear in one form or another.

and much of it is driven by asinine Social Ideals that are as nonsensical still believing the earth is flat.

Yeah! That's what I was talking about as far as us still living as if we're in the 1800's.

For many of us, and I include myself in this group, bringing our bodies into alignment with our inner gender identity is the only way we know how to ease our GD. The misalignment of body and soul is the very source of our dysphoria, and had we addressed our gender identity issues while still young, we likely would have transitioned to life as a girl and a woman and avoided the suffering that many of us have endured for decades.

Those of us who for one reason or another did not transition early, and are only now doing something about it, are at a terrible disadvantage with so many years passing under the effects of testosterone. CD clubs provide some GD relief certainly, but not complete escape.

I guess that's why I keep pushing the boundaries day by day, moving inch by inch, trying to close the gap between my true self and the image of that true self that I hold dear. I will never completely accomplish that goal despite hours and hours of time and thousands of dollars attempting to do so. I don't even know if in the end I'll think it was all worth it.

Transgenderism that is not treated early in life becomes a chronic condition that too often brings frustration, humiliation, impoverishment, even death.

Without support networks like we have here at BN, the despair of transgenderism would be unbearable.

Comments?

Clara

Yes, Clara, of course I agree with everything you say.. But how in my case at least and I guess yours too could our transgenderism have been treated earlier? Transition was something simply not on the radar. Yes, one might of heard of sex changes, but that was not part of the real world for us. All I knew was that there was something desperately wrong in my relationship with my social environment, which I interpreted as some form of homosexuality. That did not stop me falling head over heels but wholly ineffectively in love with my O&O, and it was my greatest good fortune that it ultimately turned into the relationship that I value above all things and which kept me sane over many years until my stepchildren left home and increasing stresses at work broke my health. It wasn't fear that constrained me -it was lack of knowledge. And when I started to understand my transgenderism, and study the possibilities of transition that had become real, it all seemed an impossible dream that the course of my life had ruled out - but I had to do something. My first attempt at NBE wasn't successful, but in their attempts to control my blood pressure the medical profession unwittingly chemically castrated me and got the feminisation of my body off the ground - and then I found this place and this community. And now all of a sudden the way is wonderfully open for me. Yes, societal attitudes are a problem and constraint, but the main regret in my mind is 'if only I had known sooner'.

Even today it's likely that someone suffering GD will not realize the options that are open to him or her. It's still a largely hidden condition, and when not hidden, then misunderstood.

Yes, Annie, I completely agree that you and I had virtually no chance to transition until late in life. Even having searched for answers about my confusing sexuality, before the internet came about, I was unable to find anything that came close to explaining how I felt. In fact, the searching turned out to be counter-productive because it only pointed the way toward feelings of greater shame and guilt.

Even the break up of my first marriage and the professional help I sought then did not reveal the true source of my sexual affliction.

Some people are amazed at how far and fast I have come in my transition as compared to others. The fact is, having started so late, there's no time to waste. But also, it's like when I used to uncover the cause of a particularly vexing engineering problem. I'd often exclaim, "Oh, of course! It's so obvious. Why didn't I see that before?"

Clara

Annie, I could have written what you did myself. I have had moments of deeply emotional trauma in the recent past mourning for all that was missed and the opportunities lost forever. But I also realize it was also a life with much good. It is what it is, the cards we were dealt. Now we play these last hands with that much more intent to make the most of what is left before the shoe is empty, don't we?

Hugs
Sammie