I am a geeky genetic male with a demure female personality trapped within. I have been fascinated with woman’s clothing since young, which developed at around 7 years old when I first tried on my mom's half slip. I remembered the feeling the smooth, silky half slip against my skin, and that was the most magical moment that convinced me of my inner female self. But alas, set against the backdrop of a sexist society that demanded a male to act like a male, to think about male things and do male things, I grew up not having a clue about personal grooming, fashion or tolerance. So like an ugly duckling, I grew into a musculine and then fat body, with extremely large feet and shoulder. I am ultra-competitive in school, at work and in life; I have a deep-seated interest in american football and rugby, power-mongering politics, games and gadgeteering; and I am boisterous, loud and brutish. In fact, I am sadly as male as a man can get.
All the while, I remained aware and perhaps afraid of the inner female voice. Knowing full well how the society stereotyped female as defenseless sub-species that remain subordinate to the male, being attuned to the female side would have seem weak and abnormal. An adolescent and teenage me would never wanted that. Blinded by ignorance in the guise of understanding sexuality and femininity while growing up, I would occasionally play dress-up or pleasure myself with a half slip while alone or late at night.
My growing up experience as an unbalanced male upset me badly, so much so that I hate all stereotype, especially gender-based ones. Now I am a lot more keen to try on things that were traditionally labelled as feminine, while not affecting or hurting others. In the process, I hope to really know who I really am.
Anyway, I chanced upon this site and was quite moved by the stories of the members here. Decided to post an intro to say hi, and hopefully be a little active in this site. So yar, Hiiieeee!!
(09-07-2014, 11:23 PM)emmaline Wrote: I am a geeky genetic male with a demure female personality trapped within. I have been fascinated with woman’s clothing since young, which developed at around 7 years old when I first tried on my mom's half slip. I remembered the feeling the smooth, silky half slip against my skin, and that was the most magical moment that convinced me of my inner female self. But alas, set against the backdrop of a sexist society that demanded a male to act like a male, to think about male things and do male things, I grew up not having a clue about personal grooming, fashion or tolerance. So like an ugly duckling, I grew into a musculine and then fat body, with extremely large feet and shoulder. I am ultra-competitive in school, at work and in life; I have a deep-seated interest in american football and rugby, power-mongering politics, games and gadgeteering; and I am boisterous, loud and brutish. In fact, I am sadly as male as a man can get.
All the while, I remained aware and perhaps afraid of the inner female voice. Knowing full well how the society stereotyped female as defenseless sub-species that remain subordinate to the male, being attuned to the female side would have seem weak and abnormal. An adolescent and teenage me would never wanted that. Blinded by ignorance in the guise of understanding sexuality and femininity while growing up, I would occasionally play dress-up or pleasure myself with a half slip while alone or late at night.
My growing up experience as an unbalanced male upset me badly, so much so that I hate all stereotype, especially gender-based ones. Now I am a lot more keen to try on things that were traditionally labelled as feminine, while not affecting or hurting others. In the process, I hope to really know who I really am.
Anyway, I chanced upon this site and was quite moved by the stories of the members here. Decided to post an intro to say hi, and hopefully be a little active in this site. So yar, Hiiieeee!!
Welcome to the forum . There is plenty of information for you to read . Members here will be quite happy to give guidance / point in right direction. Just remember it is a long journey . Expect no miracles , also if you are gona try herbs thing to remember is that everyone responds differently and at diffrent rate .
You sound like a real lovable guy, Emmaline. I think we need to develop your feminine side a bit...LOL.
Seriously, welcome to BN. This is good place to explore your CD/TG inclinations and improve your mental well-being in the process. We can help you toward that goal, I'm sure.
But, tell me, what is it that you'd like to achieve by coming here?
@myboobs: thanks for the warm welcome. I concur with you on the copious amount of information here, and I'm simply amazed by the dedication of the sisters here.
Yup, I'm currently on 600mg PM on and off for the last 4 months. I think I have some positive results, but can't be sure, since I'm chubby to begin with. I attached a photo of my current state here. Don't really know how to proceed though... should I boost the dosage up, or try something different altogether.
@ClaraKay: I would love to develop my feminine side too!
I just love how mature everyone is here.
As to what I'm trying to achieve? Well, no real hard target... but gaining a more feminine body for a start shouldn't hurt, right?
I recommend that you ramp up your PM dosage to 2000 mg daily. That should start breast growth within a few weeks are evidenced by nipple sensitivity and then a dull soreness appearing under the nipples. Significant breast could take a year or more to achieve.
You will experience a drop off in your libido which you may not be thrilled about, but, hey, you can't eat your cake and have it too. Taking regular week long breaks kept my boy bits working pretty well, but nothing like before I started NBE.
Estrogen, even that form you get from PM, will change your brain over time. If you are truly transgender, you will welcome the changes. If not, it probably means you are a cismale with a sexual fetish about wanting to look and dress female.
Good luck on your journey of self-discovery. It's going to be a wild ride.
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