Since I seem to talk about dancing a lot...(who me?), here are some shots from last weekend at GiGis...

And another...

Have a great time, Clara. I know you will.
Eva, it is funny you should mention that...I have always wanted to have a restarant/bar/lounge myself. I really love the idea of creating a fun place for people to hang out. Maybe you should go for it?
Onward and upward, I am going to Toronto next, on the first of August with three other girls. This is going to be a rolling party and I hope Toronto is ready....lol. I also hope we have enough money for bail.

Jocularly speaking. when I was in Toronto last Saturday. I reconnected with a pre-retirement colleague of mine, who is married to a criminal lawyer still active in a one woman practice and who at least in the past had plenty of LGBT clentele - and I have her home phone number if you should need it. Her husband and I were both hired from England together by the same firm, although he was a bit younger. We were I think both suspicious of each other's sexual orientation although we never broke that particular ice. He though tended to be regarded in the firm as openly gay (until he unexpectedly got married), whereas I was then very private indeed.

And one more.... Just a note...as I mentioned to Clara in a pm this morning, I am trying to eliminate whatever artificial things I have been using in my presentation. This last weekend I eliminated padding in the hips and used not forms, so what you see is real (Ok I admit to a push up bra, but there was very little to it...just a plain Target one). I have not cut my hair in over a year now so I hope to soon be able to drop the wig as well. I am tired of anything artificial and long to be able to look naturally as I feel inside. Sigh...day by day...
Oddly, after saying for all this time I would always remain in "the middle", I find this thought changing. I am beginning to dream long and hard about something I never expected... a vagina. (Blushing a little now...)

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Sammie I know the feeling, re the VJ... On one hand its something thats always been an interest to me going so far back I cant remember when it really started... Id say it was when I first heard about the "sex change" operation though.... On the other hand its also something I could never seriously see myself doing...

I was way too hung up on trying to be "normal" and to conform to society and other peoples ideals on who I was supposed to be... Because I was born male I could never be female so my femme identity was just an annoying source of guilt and shame that was getting in the way of my attempts at being a "manly man"...

Until I just couldnt do it anymore that is.... I found myself more and more fascinated by the story's of TS women who went all the way....
It all just seemed so damn hard and tragic to me though, something Id never want to actually do....

Well I guess once you pass the point of no return coming out to family and living more and more full time female, growing real tits, and keeping your hormonal balance biologically female for a while... It all just seems like something thats much more doable.... The question for me used to be WHY??? Now its definitely WHY NOT???

Not an easy thing to deal with thats for sure!!!

Hmm, as seems to usually be the case, my thoughts on this on different.

As far back as I can remember, I hated my current genitalia. I remember being scolded by my parents for hitting it LOL (Not in a sexual manner either). Even before I knew that vaginas existed, there was something inherently wrong to me with what I had.

Anyways, all the wishing in the world didn't change anything, so I attempted to "be happy" with the life I had. Didn't work out so well, and if was a bolder person I would've cut the fucking thing off by now. I guess fear can be a good thing.

So yeah, or me it was never a matter of wanting or not wanting one...it's a tangible need that still makes me cry at times. Like now. People don't understand, it's like my best friend was telling me that if I had SRS it would be traumatic and I'd miss it. I'm like, uhhhh....I highly doubt that.

I think the time comes when it just gets in the way. But, I also see how there comes a time when completing the transformation from male to female requires it for mental well-being, even if you don't have a use for one....lol.

I know that some heterosexual transgenders who transition stay straight, i.e. become attracted to men. I don't see that happening to me. But, lord, how many preconceived notions about this whole adventure have proved to be false for me already. I sure hope this one is real.

Clara

I know that some heterosexual transgenders who transition stay straight, i.e. become attracted to men. I don't see that happening to me. But, lord, how many preconceived notions about this whole adventure have proved to be false for me already. I sure hope this one is real.

Clara

Not to scare you, but I felt the same way you did around a year ago. Now, I'm able to see that I've always been bisexual. If I ever do manage to afford SRS, I will definitely put it to use in every way imaginable!

Also, that first sentence gives me deja vu. I think I've said that to you a number of times!

I know that some heterosexual transgenders who transition stay straight, i.e. become attracted to men. I don't see that happening to me. But, lord, how many preconceived notions about this whole adventure have proved to be false for me already. I sure hope this one is real.

Clara

Not to scare you, but I felt the same way you did around a year ago. Now, I'm able to see that I've always been bisexual. If I ever do manage to afford SRS, I will definitely put it to use in every way imaginable!

Also, that first sentence gives me deja vu. I think I've said that to you a number of times!

Yes, Sarah, I think you enjoy scaring the crap out of me...lol. Oh well, que sera sera. There's no going back, so why anguish over worse case scenarios.

Clara