[GoneGirl]

Something is happening to me in my 3rd month on synthetic hormones (HRT). These hormones/blockers are having not only an effect on me physically (breast growth, muscle and body hair loss, smoother skin, etc.), but also mentally. I anticipated the physical changes, but not so much the mental ones.

The most extraordinary change is a renewed zest for life. In my youth I had a strong desire to experience new things, to be more social, and have an overall sense of anticipation for the future. Those feelings of being alive slowly diminished as the years passed, and particularly so as I entered into seniorhood. I skipped having a mid-life crisis...lol.

Now, only a couple of months into my transition, much of that enthusiasm and anticipation has returned. The first thing I noticed was a surge of joyful feeling about finally being free to be my true self. Earlier, while on PM, I had moments of such joy, too, but they were interspersed with flashes of skepticism and foreboding about what I was doing. Those negative feelings rarely surface now.

I never was the party animal type, but I have to say that lately I look forward to getting out en femme and being with others. I like the hugs and the "you look greats", the chit chat, oh and I'm dying to get out on the dance floor with Sammie.

So it seems that I've entered a second adolescence. I'm doing it as a girl now, rather than a guy, and that too is affecting my attitude and behavior. My first adolescence was wrapped in my largely artificial male persona. It had to be very constraining not being authentic, whereas, now, my personality is being laid bare and is in a developmental stage. Everything is new and learning to be more female is exciting and rewarding.

I know that it all seems so odd for a person my age to be feeling and acting this way, but it's happening, and I'm totally delighted.

Clara

[AnnieBL]

Clara, once again I can relate to what you are saying, but I am not currently on synthetics; although I do regard bio-identical estradiol and progesterone as 'natural', possibly in some ways more so than PM. Although only on PM and otc (at least in the US) PC, I am now feeling the same euphoria and suspect that is more a progression in the journey independent of whether the hormones I am taking are directly plant derived or are plant derived compounds modified by chemical synthesis to correspond to natural human hormones.

That said, do you have any feel as to whether the prescription hormones are actually taking your femininisation further than could ultimately perhaps have been achieved with PM? Of course, this is really an academic question since us late starters have little time to waste and PM is painfully slow; medically supervised HRT would be preferable to me if available (which may turn out to be a problem around here).

[SarahSchilling]

Yeah, I've been on "official" prescription hormones for a little over 3 months, and I'm like a 14 yr old girl most of the time. (Just ask Emily or Sammie lol) It's either really fun or completely horrible.

While markedly better than how I used to feel, it's still confusing.

[GoneGirl]

....do you have any feel as to whether the prescription hormones are actually taking your femininisation further than could ultimately perhaps have been achieved with PM?

Oh, without a doubt, Annie, miroestrol (actully its metabolized derivative deoxymiroestrol) is only capable of locking on to certain E-receptors, breast tissue being one. Also estradiol has a strong affinity to E-receptors which means that it can better overcome the inhibiting effects of T.

Now blocking testosterone and supplying estradiol makes for a powerful feminizing combination, imo. I will say, though, that PM is very good at stimulating breast growth, too, and an excellent way to start. My boobs were more tender and sore on PM than now on estradiol. I associated soreness with growth, but maybe that's not a reliable indicator. My progress pictures show the breast growth I've achieved on estradiol and spiro over the past 2 months (compare the May 18th and July 15th photos). Areola growth is particularly evident.

Clara

[AnnieBL]

Oh, without a doubt, Annie, miroestrol (actully its metabolized derivative deoxymiroestrol) is only capable of locking on to certain E-receptors, breast tissue being one. Also estradiol has a strong affinity to E-receptors which means that it can better overcome the inhibiting effects of T.

Now blocking testosterone and supplying estradiol makes for a powerful feminizing combination, imo. I will say, though, that PM is very good at stimulating breast growth, too, and an excellent way to start. My boobs were more tender and sore on PM than now on estradiol. I associated soreness with growth, but maybe that's not a reliable indicator. My progress pictures show the breast growth I've achieved on estradiol and spiro over the past 2 months (compare the May 18th and July 15th photos). Areola growth is particularly evident.

Clara

Bear in mind that in my case my T level is essentially zero, and has likely been that way for at least the couple of years since I went off spiro, and probably before that too, so my second puberty has been quite prolonged if a bit inconsistent. Let me just see though if I can find some one around here to prescribe E2. In the meanwhile my present regime should at least be fairly safe. I did have my phase of marked areola and nipple growth (both now quite a bit bigger than my DW's ) a while ago, but while my boobs have remained a bit tender there doesn't seem to have been much further growth there; but there has been some in my butt.

Hugs

[GoneGirl]

I don't want to poo-poo the importance of having female-like breasts. Breasts are very much a part of being a woman, and I love mine to pieces.

Still, there are many GG's who are not well-supplied in the chest area, but they are still women in every sense of the word.

Estrogen affects many other aspects of one's mind and body which at the end of the day is more important than breast growth.

Yes, Annie, having your T levels erased by medical malpractice, it's likely that estrogen already plays a major part in your body chemistry. It may be that adding E2 will have minimal effect at this stage. Have you had your hormone levels tested lately? That would a good place to start.

Clara

[Samantha Rogers]

I have to concur with Sarah on this (both about the second puberty and about dealing with her...lol....you know I love you, Sis...tee hee)
I have been told by several people (doctors and other TS women) that starting full blown synthetic HRT (I think this goes for high dosage PM programs as well) causes the body and mind to reexperience puberty.
With a daughter at home about to turn 18, I have had the opportunity to witness over the past several years exactly how this manifests itself among girls of that age (often it isnt pretty...lol)
But the oddest thing is the relationship she and I now enjoy. It is indeed odd when clothing in the wash must be carefully identified as belonging to her or me. Much of her music now lives on my ipod. I can relate totally to many of her moods having experienced them myself.
My wife stares at me sometimes and simply shakes her head. I expect all this might appear foolish to a casual "fly on the wall" observer.
Do I care?
Not in the slightest.
Yes, I know I dress younger than my age...lol...and sometimes a little ...trashy?
Lol
Again, I dont give a rats behind. Lol
I missed all this when I should have rightly had the chance. Im not missing any of it this time.
Not one bit.
Lmasrof

[AnnieBL]

I well remember my step daughter's teenage years. Almost mercifully she announced on her 16th birthday that school must no longer be allowed to get in the way of horses and she wasn't going back there. J said 'not in this house' and she walked straight out and down the road to a world class equestrian facility run by a retired German industrialist, since when she has supported herself without any essential help from us and indeed prospered considerably. Adolescent temperament was hard enough to cope with - adolescent temperament plus driving ambition was beyond us. Even the industrialist complained that she gave him a hard time. J just said 'Join the club'. My mother was long convinced that she was my daughter, now I'm sorry she wasn't. But I sure hope that I'm going to behave better during my second puberty than she did during hers.