[Rinaa]

Hi, i just started feminizing myself yesterday night, with PM and SP(following the flat2fem program guideline), and today marks the next day. Sighh... if only i found this site before or just after finding flat2fem since i actually held off buying for some months due to thinking about how my family, relatives and society would think and all, but i am pretty sure i was born somewhat a girl inside since i actually tried to imitate being pregnant at a very young age(~4 yrs old), played girly stuff like barbie and the fake cooking stuff instead of running around like normal boys until i felt that i shouldn't be doing it due to social reasons.

So anyways, din really feel anything, except feeling some inner warmth for awhile minutes after taking the capsules, which had never happened before(yesterday was a cool night) and also had this "foggy" sleep after i woke up at 6:30am to pee and then went to sleep again.

So far still nothing, but im anticipating. I also got another question. My left chest is bigger and more volume and when i push my fingers in and pinch just outside my aerola, i feel some sort of sphere solid(before any HBE), which i do not dare to squeeze too hard. However, for my right chest, i dun know if it has this sphere thing because my right is more sensitive(due to being smaller?) and it starts to hurt before i even feel anything.

This leads me to talk about my puberty history for a bit. I hit puberty fairly early for a male, at 13 yrs. Most of you should know that boys also have those buds before the darned T comes and make it "disappear" and stop all kinds of breast-growth except for those with gynecomastia. So when i was at that period of growth, i used to play with my chest(squeezing and pinching sometimes quite hard, rubbing nipples) because the tender pain kinda felt good, and at one point, being young and stupid. i even used a dumbbell(1.1kg each side) and rolled it over my chest since the pain felt so nice(making me instinctively rub my erect boy through my pants and actually came) and the weights just happened to touch just outside of my aerola(left-side for left chest, right-side for right), so i am wondering if i damaged the bud for my right chest and stopped all growth, as my left is bigger and has more volume and whether it will affect my subsequent growth(if any) in the journey of feminization

I am 18 and slightly more than 2months old now, reason why i start so late is due to financial planning + i had a small/skinny but masculine body due to genetics e.g defined chest which is softer now since i have not worked it for months(left bigger than right), small but defined arm muscles especially the sides of my shoulder, jungle below, lots of leg hair which i hate and wanna remove but parents objected saying that they look sexy(for a guy) and guys SHOULD NOT remove leg hair unless they are gay(out-dated thinking FTW?) but i don't wanna be a guy anyways... And yes i feel that my left chest is really a lot bigger than my right chest, even my left nipple and aerola is bigger than my right chest's >_<

[flamesabers]

Hello Rinaa.

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, it's normal for one breast to be larger or more developed than the other, even for ggs.

As far as trying to feminize your body, I don't think now is a good time for you despite your feelings. When you're reluctant to do something very concealable and reversible such as shaving your legs due to your parents' objections, I doubt you're prepared for the ramifications of pursuing something permanent like NBE. NBE isn't something you have to do in your teen years or all is lost. I started when I was 25 and I've achieved decent results. Others who are older than me have done the same.

I assume you're living with your parents. I think a reasonable time to reconsider NBE and such is once you attain financial and to a certain extent psychological independence from your parents. If you're worried about your parents disapproving of you having hairless legs, imagine how they would react when they find out you're trying to grow breasts and have a feminine gender identity!

[Rinaa]

Yes i do realise and that is why i have waited until now to start. This is my last year of school, and next year i will be working and will soon migrate to another country. Females on both sides of my family have got small breasts, so im sure mine will be small too. Also it is getting colder now in the place im living for me(im sensitive to cold), so i will be wearing multi-layers + a jacket in a lecture theater so i dun think they will be noticeable.

Also this is the 3rd day and currently still nothing, since i don't go for high doses on PM (1000mg<) like u guys. I only follow the manufacturer's guidelines for now since i am juz starting out, so i really doubt i will have any results in the 1st 2 months?

Butt thank you flamesabers for ur opinion. I think i should just go for the hair removal i want, but since it is laser hair removal, i can only start next year when i am beginning to work

[bobie]

My advice for what its worth, if you feel you could be transgender then go and see someone about it now dont ignore it and leave it until later in life, your an adult so your parents dont need to know you are discussing gender identity with someone, your at an age where you will get far better results than someone over 25, im 32 and really wish i had done something about it in my teenage years rather than leaving it so late

[GoneGirl]

Hi Rinaa,

If you have a strong female gender identity, it's best to find out now and do something about it. Don't wait while T completely destroys your potential to transition to a passable woman if that is ultimately what you'll want to do. Talking to a therapist who specializes in gender issues is one way to find out. After some discussion, if a cross gender identity is suspected, the therapist will authorize the taking of hormones for a trial period. Taking a T-blocker and an estrogen is very effective in diagnosing cross gender identity. If your dysphoria clears, the diagnosis is positive, if it worsens, it's more likely that your attraction to femininity is fetishistic.

If you take PM in a sufficiently high dose, the same effect can be experienced. For me it took about two weeks on PM at 2000 mg/day to feel the mental benefits. The difference was unmistakable. For me, those benefits were maintained all the way down to just 1000 mg/day. Your experience will likely be different. The beginnings of breast growth take considerably longer -- two or three months is common.

You don't have to tell the world what your doing if it will likely make your life difficult. You will be able to disguise your physical changes for many months. Eventually, if you take it that far, you will be faced with the decision to come out to family and friends. You could lose some of them.

There are so many factors to consider. Do you ever want to father children? Don't try to predict the future on that. Have some sperm frozen just in case. Do it before you go on HRT (herbal or pharma) while you are most fertile. Your sex drive and fertility will be quashed by taking PM.

What you are contemplating is very serious, but I think it's good to take steps to deal with it now rather than wait. Approaching one or both of your parents with your feelings should be considered, as well. Don't assume you know what their reaction will be. Getting them on your side would be a huge help to you.

I wish you well,

Clara

[Rinaa]

Thank you Clara and bobie for your inputs. Yeah i will see a therapist next year once i am financially stable. A question, will there be results, but takes longer if i take the herbs following the manufacturer guidelines or should i consume higher dose if PM seeing that the manufacturer's recommendation was based on the assumption that a GG is taking it?

[bobie]

If taking pm then yes generally you would take a higher dose than a gg, usually 2000-3000mg a day divided morning and evening, building up to that gradually though over say a month period, normally just building it up until you feel the effects, some people though get results at lower doses, do you have health insurance? if you do would that not cover a therapist?