Hello Michelle,

When you first said tweener in the other thread, the first thought that came to my mind is teenager.

hee hee so did i

Hello Michelle,

When you first said tweener in the other thread, the first thought that came to my mind is teenager.

hee hee so did i

That would drive my wife absolutely nuts!

Clara

Hrt does bring on a second puberty...lol...does that count?

Hrt does bring on a second puberty...lol...does that count?

I kinda wish it was permanent -- I'm having so much fun reliving my teen years as a girl....giggle.

Clara

I started out thinking I was an "in-betweener" and pretty much remain one. However, it has been a moving target. For me, the target moves in all directions rather than as a single vector towards one end of the spectrum. I do not know what moves it -- ebbs and flows of hormones, life events, sun spots, the trilateral commission. Who knows?

I doubt that I will ever get to the point of wanting SRS or full transition. I like having aspects of both genders. I do love my little boobies, though.

What I'm wondering about is roughly how many folks who thought they were "tweeners" originally still feel that way after taking PM for a while, say 6 months or so? Related to that, if you've taken PM for a significant time without feeling any such twinges, what's the likelihood of being a tweener permanently?

I've taken it for a year now. Nothing has changed but the size of my boobs, and I seem to be losing less hair. I am a happier and more mellow than I was a year ago, but I've changed a few other things including my relationship status in that year, so I hesitate to ascribe that happiness to any one thing.

If I had been hoping for "brain re-wiring" effects, I'd be disappointed. I'm not any more into chick flicks, not more emotional and sappy, though I have made some effort to understand such things. I do have more female friends nowadays, which has certainly opened up new vistas, but again I would not attribute it more meaning than that.

I obviously can't speak for anyone else, but I strongly suspect that a lot of those things (I was once Paul Bunyan, and I took these pills, now I'm June Cleaver) are psychosomatic. Unless PM has hallucinogenic properties to which I am somehow immune, I'd suggest you're seeing a lot of cases of pink fog.

It's hard to say what the future brings, and one learns to never say never... but I can say that I do not envision myself having my breasts removed and growing a beard and being a cisgendered heterosexual male... (hah!) and I'm not naive enough to think plastic surgery is going to change my DNA. In-between is where I'm happy... you can be grateful for your life and still strive for more at the same time.

If I had been hoping for "brain re-wiring" effects, I'd be disappointed. I'm not any more into chick flicks, not more emotional and sappy, though I have made some effort to understand such things.

I second that, I don't seem to getting any of the effects other posters seem to be talking about,. But due to family and work expectation, I am also unable to express or dress as I feel I need too.

The term 'brain rewiring' is not an accurate description of what happens when the body's hormonal balance is shifted from testosterone to estrogen dominance. There is a physiological component to the presence of gender dysphoria which the administration of estrogen alleviates. For those who experience this effect, the change is unmistakable. Estrogen receptors in the brain activate neural responses that result in changes to the way a person feels and behaves. I do believe that it varies from person to person in proportion to the amount of cross gender identity one possesses. That's why the administration of hormones is a very effective second step in the diagnosis of transsexualism, after initial therapeutic counseling.

Clara

Miss C,

I think of brain rewiring more as a term to describe relief of GD and/or improved sense of well-being rather than a heavy dose of pink fog. One notable physical/mental change I've experienced with pm is a major drop in libido. On the mental level, I found porn to be far less exciting than what it once was for me. On the physical level, arousal is more difficult to achieve and maintain, and ejaculation is less pleasurable. Prior to NBE, I've used medication that impaired my libido but only the physical level. The result was I was frustrated by my difficulty with satisfying my mental desire for release.

I do agree with you that some changes individuals may experience may be psychosomatic, especially for those who haven't been taking pm very long. I think it's very similar to how depressed individuals may feel better as soon as they start take anti-depressants, even though it takes time for the medication to take effect.

I agree with Flame in that I find the brain re-wiring to be relief of GD (and not necessarily "thinking like a female"). Clara points out that this effect is a form of proof that an individual is TS. I agree with that as well.

I recently started a thread about how I was "alarmed" at the rate of my transition when my intent was to say "in between" and live as male (while using PM to calm my GD). I am starting to wonder if that outcome is actually possible. When I try and cut back on the PM the GD returns, and that in turn ramps up my desire to increase the dose. Not to alleviate the GD but rather to hasten the transition. When I do increase the dose back to levels that eliminate the GD I find that I am continuing the transition. It's a vicious cycle that I don't see any way to break.

So to answer the OP question... I'm not sure it is possible to remain in-between (at least for me). My family/professional situations make living as a women impossible, however, as I am unwilling to pay the price it would entail. I guess that at some point I will be more female than male and will be essentially "cross-dressing" to maintain my male persona.

Misty