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The blurred line between fetishists and transsexuals

#11

By the same token, Clara, it may take a lifetime to realize one is TG or overcome the denial. And the degree, I believe may also change, although that may simply be connected to the realization or denial overcoming process as well.
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#12

(18-08-2014, 12:50 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  By the same token, Clara, it may take a lifetime to realize one is TG or overcome the denial. And the degree, I believe may also change, although that may simply be connected to the realization or denial overcoming process as well.

Yup, it took me 66 years to realize I was transgender. It's only now looking back that I can see that I was TG all along, but unwilling to consciously acknowledge it.

Clara
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#13

(18-08-2014, 12:50 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  By the same token, Clara, it may take a lifetime to realize one is TG or overcome the denial. And the degree, I believe may also change, although that may simply be connected to the realization or denial overcoming process as well.
That seems to sum up my own experience very neatly, and just as I complete the denial overcoming process.Smile
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#14

As for me I was telling other children when I was five or six years old that I wanted to be a girl, and this got to my parents but they never said anything. I was always being caught cross-dressing after the age of 10 and I was told by my parents that it basically just crossdressing. The voices in my head that told me a wanted to be a woman never stopped. There was a sexual part to dressing for me maybe into my thirties, but today I'm never sexual turned by dressing. I think that I have bought so much clothes recently is that I could never really have them before. I just like to come home from work and put on a dress which is no problem because I live alone. I have been in denial about depth of my GD, and this has led to be not really caring about anything in my personal life. I have been drinking to much, not going to doctors, and being overweight. I spent most of last week in the hospital for a leg problem that was likely cause by NBE in connection with being unhealthy. I just did not want to deal with it. I have quit PM for now. My own GD I don't really understand so it is hard for me to judge other peoples. I'm done not dealing with things and I hope to go see a therapist this week or next. I looking forward to SCC and meeting everyone. Robin.
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#15

(18-08-2014, 01:01 AM)ClaraKay Wrote:  
(18-08-2014, 12:50 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  By the same token, Clara, it may take a lifetime to realize one is TG or overcome the denial. And the degree, I believe may also change, although that may simply be connected to the realization or denial overcoming process as well.

Yup, it took me 66 years to realize I was transgender. It's only now looking back that I can see that I was TG all along, but unwilling to consciously acknowledge it.

Clara

Maybe, but I also feel one has to be careful not to fall for the "next fad". Just because someone says polka dots are in fashion, should I get rid of all my clothes just to buy polka dot clothes??

I am NOT saying that is anyone's case here, but I am a firm believer that if butter is to turn to gold, who am I to think that I should buy all the butter just in hope's it does?? Or that I am wiser or smarter than most and can make it so due to some "cosmic connection" that I alone possess.

I think everyone should have the rights or privilege of not being pigeon holed or forced to accept things just because it right, or true of those who band together in a common cause says so.

It is because of the last statement, that I truly think most counselors and psychologists are good at playing games while not truly understanding the nature of what they are bloviating about.

My motto is live and let live as long as it does not impede my neighbor.

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#16

(17-08-2014, 10:59 PM)SarahSchilling Wrote:  What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL

Well, first off I don't think your thoughts are bitchy in the slightest.

As for the rest of your post, I'm not sure how to respond as I don't identify with either group. I don't identify as being a transsexual, and my libido dissipates the more I take pm and spearmint. I do recall some individuals saying their libido ramps up when pursuing NBE, so I suppose it's possible for the fetish/transsexual aspects to get mixed up. For me, I feel flattered and coy in regards to the idea of being treated like a female. Sexual arousal, on a mental or physical level would be the farthest thing on my mind.

(18-08-2014, 12:26 AM)SarahSchilling Wrote:  You can SO be gayed. And I don't want to be. Hands off at SCC bitches!

Bahahahaha

Huh

Should you be bringing pepper spray and a taser to the SCC Sarah? It almost sounds like you need a bodyguard or a big sister to keep an eye on you.

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#17

(17-08-2014, 10:59 PM)SarahSchilling Wrote:  What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL
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Sarah, you write very well, and definitely not bitchy. I feel like the latter group you described. POM

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#18

(18-08-2014, 02:16 AM)RobinMurphy Wrote:  As for me I was telling other children when I was five or six years old that I wanted to be a girl, and this got to my parents but they never said anything. I was always being caught cross-dressing after the age of 10 and I was told by my parents that it basically just crossdressing. The voices in my head that told me a wanted to be a woman never stopped. There was a sexual part to dressing for me maybe into my thirties, but today I'm never sexual turned by dressing. I think that I have bought so much clothes recently is that I could never really have them before. I just like to come home from work and put on a dress which is no problem because I live alone. I have been in denial about depth of my GD, and this has led to be not really caring about anything in my personal life. I have been drinking to much, not going to doctors, and being overweight. I spent most of last week in the hospital for a leg problem that was likely cause by NBE in connection with being unhealthy. I just did not want to deal with it. I have quit PM for now. My own GD I don't really understand so it is hard for me to judge other peoples. I'm done not dealing with things and I hope to go see a therapist this week or next. I looking forward to SCC and meeting everyone. Robin.

Good luck Robin things can look bleak but if its "time" for you try not to let where your starting from discourage you... The biggest thing is self acceptance and finding a way to love and forgive yourself... Once you have that you will be ready and likely soon wondering why you waited so long... When and if you do decide to go all out things can change very fast and the results can be beyond anything in your wildest dreamsWink

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#19

(17-08-2014, 10:59 PM)SarahSchilling Wrote:  So yeah...earlier I was talking to a friend who also posts here, and this topic came up. First off, I am not judging anyone. Whatever makes a person feel happy is inherently the right thing for them to pursue. That being said, there seem to be two camps among the ranks of trans women.

For some, it seems idea of being treated as a woman really excites them in a sexual way. Their focus is usually about how guys relate to them or how sex after SRS will feel. Of course, every TG certainly thinks of these things...but the way some act about it makes it seem like a degradation/sissy fetish. As in, women are the weaker sex, so to take on the role of a girl gives one a rush. The more excited by this prospect a person is, the more of an act the whole thing becomes. Like oh I'm so girly so I don't know anything "manly". Instead of being themselves, theyre deliberately trying to act in some stereotypical female way. I find it a little insulting to women tbh lol.

For others, transitioning is akin to a spiritual awakening. Every day seems brighter, waking up is a more appetizing proposition. They don't consciously try to act any different, it just feels natural. Of course there is some level of excitement and sexual energy involved, but it's blended into the background of ones mind. Who wants to have sex when you're stuck with a penis anyway? Big Grin

The two categories are certainly not mutually exclusive, I think most of us have a blend of the two. There are just some who I can identify with...and some who I can't.

What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL

Well I donno If their bitchy but Ive been all over the map throughout my life and I get what your saying....

I have been solidly in both camps but as things progress for me Im heading more towards the second category you mentioned... I think the effect of T on the mind and body would contribute a lot to the first part you wrote....

The only part I dont get is "who wants to have sex when your stuck with a penis anyway" ... While I WONT be penetrating anyone anytime soon I do love having sex now as a female more than I ever did as a "man"... I think its a major consideration for anyone really thinking about SRS... I mean who wants to be stuck without the ability to orgasm PERMANENTLY.... I guess I dont understand how someone could just totally ignore their bits and sexuality before having such a change made... For me anyway I need to know what sex with men as a woman is like before going under the knifeWink

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#20

If you are seeking peace, and constant joy, then, stay away from physical sex. <3 POM
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