[❇ Abby ❇]

I am an hour away from talking to my doctor about my gender dysphoria issues.

So I've been pacing and it would have cost me a fortune if I had a swear box.

Forcing myself to sit down and try to relax by writing this post.

Trying to think happy, happy thoughts.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!!!

Wish me luck.


Denita

[Arielle]

Hi Denita,

Good luck I hope it goes ok, just remember to breathe, it helps calm yourself down.

All the best

Arielle

[pom19]

Yah, good luck.

[undecided]

I am an hour away from talking to my doctor about my gender dysphoria issues.

So I've been pacing and it would have cost me a fortune if I had a swear box.

Forcing myself to sit down and try to relax by writing this post.

Trying to think happy, happy thoughts.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!!!

Wish me luck.


Denita

Good luck !!

Honestly, don't worry about it. The doctor will have heard it all before. You will feel a whole lot better after thou. Relieved , that's for sure.

[❇ Abby ❇]

Thank you Arielle, Pom19 and Janet Doe.

Well I survived. Not sure if it helped or hindered bursting into tears in front of the doctor but she was very nice about it.

Had a chat and the upshot is, I am being sent to counselling.
I have also given in and will be starting some happy pills.

Your right Janet, feel a whole lot better. Relieved.



Denita

[undecided]

Thank you Arielle, Pom19 and Janet Doe.

Well I survived. Not sure if it helped or hindered bursting into tears in front of the doctor but she was very nice about it.

Had a chat and the upshot is, I am being sent to counselling.
I have also given in and will be starting some happy pills.

Your right Janet, feel a whole lot better. Relieved.

Denita

I`m glad to hear everything went well. I would suspect a female doctor would have been easier for you to deal with, less traumatic, thats for sure.
I sincerely hope you get to see your counselor sooner than I get to see mine. My doctors visit was 6 months ago, and i am still waiting for the counselor to call. ( thats the Ohip for you ) Damn good job i`m not suicidal.

BTW, I found telling the doctor much less traumatic than telling my wife.

[flamesabers]

Hello Denita.

It's good to hear your doctor is very understanding and that your visit was a pleasant one.

[Missed Miss]

Happy pills??? Aren't you happy? Watch a few episodes of The Blackadder or The Young Ones and you'll feel QUITE happy!!

Swear box? We call it a Piffle Pot.

http://youtu.be/cGDdFuDwTZ8

[❇ Abby ❇]

I`m glad to hear everything went well. I would suspect a female doctor would have been easier for you to deal with, less traumatic, thats for sure.
I sincerely hope you get to see your counselor sooner than I get to see mine. My doctors visit was 6 months ago, and i am still waiting for the counselor to call. ( thats the Ohip for you ) Damn good job i`m not suicidal.

BTW, I found telling the doctor much less traumatic than telling my wife.

Yes defiantly easier telling a female doctor. Last year I told my then fiancée and it was much harder.

Doctor gave me a phone number for counselling. I phoned them at 11am yesterday and they phoned me back at 4pm with an assessment appointment in 4 weeks time.

I hope you get your appointment soon.


Denita

[❇ Abby ❇]

Happy pills??? Aren't you happy? Watch a few episodes of The Blackadder or The Young Ones and you'll feel QUITE happy!!

Swear box? We call it a Piffle Pot.

http://youtu.be/cGDdFuDwTZ8

Nope no really. I'm up and down like a yo-yo. I struggled all last year and crashed big time this year. Last week I broke my "can't sleep" record at just over 4 days. Then slept on and off for 2 days. What's really getting to me is the feeling that I'm not right. The feeling I'm unhinged. It's been too long. I've had depression many times before but never like this and for this amount of time. I have times when I'm happy or enjoying myself but it's fleeting and the next day I may wake up at square one again. Hell, it can change over the course of a day. I'm sick of feeling bad and sorry for myself. I'm sick of analysing and focusing on motives, emotions and feelings. So I'm not.

So it's time for new tactics, happy pills. I'm on close watch for next 3 weeks because the pills can make things worse. I admit I'm not looking forward to it. lol

At the same time I have never been happier with my GD. Placating to my female side is the only thing keeping me (mostly) sane and the dream of a future when I can completely give in to it. As a guy I had a almost fanatical cleanliness routine and a large collection of aftershave. Thanks to raiding the remaining stock from the business that I closed, I now have a collection of watches, jewellery, toiletries and perfume that I use daily. I have 20+ perfumes now. Christian Lacroix - Absynthe is wonderful. No one has noticed or commented!

My hair has grown past shoulder length and I love it. Still not good at styling it and the next hurdle will be a trip to the hair dressers.


I have the collectors box set including the specials of Blackadder. Brilliant writing and so funny.

YouTube: Blackadder outtakes

I loved the young ones! Not seen it in years. If you like the comic duo Ade Edmondson and Rik Mayall try "Bottom". It was a BBC series in the early 90's. Also a live stage show and they made a film called "Guest House Paradiso"

YouTube: Retrospective / Review: Guest House Paradiso (1999)

I'm working my way through Boston Legal at the moment.


Denita