Well I just talked to Dr Spiegel, he said it sounds a lot better than it did when I saw him at our consultation I could hardly talk then though, I was still recovering from this and pretty hoarse...

He says he can do a CTA if I want one with my upcoming FFS The question now is do I want one???
He said the incision would have to be a bit lower than for the trachea shave, it would also be longer but only about a quarter inch... About a 1 inch incision...

He also said depending on where my cords are tied he might be able to tie off a little more... He said he has done both the CTA and the web before... Id love to have him take a look there when I see him for my pre surgical consultation... I think Id do the CTA and trach shave with my FFS, BUT Im not sure Id be able to talk very well after the CTA... With everything else going on with the FFS Im not sure I want to do that

Id still like Dr Habens opinion on doing a CTA and trach shave with my FFS ??? I mean for a CTA Ive only seen recommendations of no use of the voice for at least a week... Dr S said Id be able to talk but it would be weak, Id have to speak softly and there would be no potential for harm like with a web if I just take it easy... I guess that makes sense but Im still not sure Id want to do the major FFS stuff and then not be able to talk very good while recovering from such a big ordeal

I guess it would depend on what Dr S thinks he could do with maybe making more of a web???
I want to hear what Dr Haben thinks there as well as far as going in and tying more off....

Id rather have Dr Haben make a shorter web BUT Id like it If Dr Spiegel did the CTA because I trust him more with the incision... Either way I cant do a web with FFS because Id have to start the whole 3 month VFS healing process over AND I know I cant talk after that even if I wanted to... Thats a week of NO talking at all... Id do itr over again though If Dr Haben thought he could get me 2-3 notes higher...

I donno but I gotta make up my mind soon here... Im leaning towards doing nothing at all there for now, not even the trach shave and seeing how it looks after my FFS heals...

Give it all a few more months let everything on my face/neck heal up THEN decide on additional VFS.... Thats probably the way to go I guess....

Well I just talked to Dr Spiegel, he said it sounds a lot better than it did when I saw him at our consultation I could hardly talk then though, I was still recovering from this and pretty hoarse...

He says he can do a CTA if I want one with my upcoming FFS The question now is do I want one???
He said the incision would have to be a bit lower than for the trachea shave, it would also be longer but only about a quarter inch... About a 1 inch incision...

He also said depending on where my cords are tied he might be able to tie off a little more... He said he has done both the CTA and the web before... Id love to have him take a look there when I see him for my pre surgical consultation... I think Id do the CTA and trach shave with my FFS, BUT Im not sure Id be able to talk very well after the CTA... With everything else going on with the FFS Im not sure I want to do that

Id still like Dr Habens opinion on doing a CTA and trach shave with my FFS ??? I mean for a CTA Ive only seen recommendations of no use of the voice for at least a week... Dr S said Id be able to talk but it would be weak, Id have to speak softly and there would be no potential for harm like with a web if I just take it easy... I guess that makes sense but Im still not sure Id want to do the major FFS stuff and then not be able to talk very good while recovering from such a big ordeal

I guess it would depend on what Dr S thinks he could do with maybe making more of a web???
I want to hear what Dr Haben thinks there as well as far as going in and tying more off....

Id rather have Dr Haben make a shorter web BUT Id like it If Dr Spiegel did the CTA because I trust him more with the incision... Either way I cant do a web with FFS because Id have to start the whole 3 month VFS healing process over AND I know I cant talk after that even if I wanted to... Thats a week of NO talking at all... Id do itr over again though If Dr Haben thought he could get me 2-3 notes higher...

I donno but I gotta make up my mind soon here... Im leaning towards doing nothing at all there for now, not even the trach shave and seeing how it looks after my FFS heals...

Give it all a few more months let everything on my face/neck heal up THEN decide on additional VFS.... Thats probably the way to go I guess....

One step at a time ?

Hy myboobs

Well I figure since Dr Spiegel would be right in there anyway its really tempting to have him do more voice surgery... He seemed confident he could do it anyway.... A CTA would definitely cut off the lower end and also raise it a little more... Im not real happy with it but it aint terrible either... Of course I worry about really screwing things up going in there again and then regretting it

Well today was a bit of a milestone... Id been getting nowhere with my psych telling him he needs to start thinking about writing my letter for the surgeon... At my last visit he even went so far as to say "you need to see me for at least one year before I can do that"

That pissed me off and I let him know he was full of shit and nowhere in the standards of care does it mention that... So today after a bit of confrontation that almost had me get up and leave.... I straight up just asked him what he needs me to do to write the letter to Dr Brassard??? He went through his long spiel and in the end agreed he has no reason not to write it

That made my day I will call and get specifics on what Dr Brassard needs in the letter tomorrow... I am more than 1 year "full time" but only 9 1/2 months on HRT but I will meet all the official requirements in 2 1/2 months after 1 year on HRT...

I have to survive this upcoming surgery and recover first anyway...
Im also hoping to start seeing a different psych soon so I can get my 2nd letter... She's a woman and I think Id get more out of seeing a woman anyway Once this dude writes that letter he knows Im done with him so I think that was most of his reasoning for appearing reluctant... Im easy $$$ and likely pretty interesting to him LOL

I found out my copay on "therapy" is only a $25.00 copay with my new insurance It was $35.00 with my old insurance and they mistakenly told me it was $50.00 with the new insurance... They also paid 100% of my recent lab work as well as MUCH better coverage on my HRT, only a $5.00 copay per script... So so far its nice to actually get something for the ridiculous amount I pay them fore private coverage

So I was pretty EMO after I got out of there... I had some shopping to do and I found it really hard to concentrate because it really hit home that Im really close now to getting "That" done Just a couple more little hoops to jump through, of course the $$$ is there

Now of course first I have to survive and recover from full FFS which on its own is a huge deal.... This means that Im might actually get SRS/GCS/ "Sex Change" DONE this year as well though Id prefer a late August/September date if at all possible.... Its still nice in Montreal that time of year and then Id have all fall and winter to recover from that going into spring 2016...

Id like to be DONE with surgery's by this time next year

That gatekeeper shit is so silly. I guess it provides a challenge to ones assertiveness, but otherwise is completely useless. How long does someone really need to live as a female to know they enjoy it? A few weeks at the absolute most.

I'm glad my therapist hates it too. When asked her to write a letter she just asked me how long I wanted her to say I'd been fulltime for. Lmao

I love her.

I also got my hair colored and trimmed, it was two colors but I need it all one color... Im going to order a custom made topper with a lace front and all human hair colored to match mine

Im hoping after my FFS surgery to be able to get away with a shorter simpler hairstyle using mostly my own hair from here on out and eventually getting transplants and going 100% my hair

Im hoping to ditch my wig soon but its gonna be a tall order to make my hair and a topper look as good as the wig I wear now... As much as Im sick of it I gotta admit and my hairdresser said the same... Its a NICE wig and it really does suit me and it looks great as long as I get a new one every 2 months... Ive had ZERO problems with that hair for 9 months now and it might be hard to make the switch Im beginning to see

Im happy to get that rolling though.... I remember when I was scared to go see my hairdresser at the busy womens hair salon... Now I can go there with obvious "male" pattern baldness and NOBODY even raises an eyebrow... I mean its busy and there are little kids running around and Im just one of the girls, just with problem hair... That doesn't even "blow my mind" anymore either

That gatekeeper shit is so silly. I guess it provides a challenge to ones assertiveness, but otherwise is completely useless. How long does someone really need to live as a female to know they enjoy it? A few weeks at the absolute most.

I'm glad my therapist hates it too. When asked her to write a letter she just asked me how long I wanted her to say I'd been fulltime for. Lmao

I love her.

Yea I think Id have better off seeing a woman to start I guess I cant blame him too much though because he is a man and this is and he has LITTLE experience with this kind of thing...

He went on and on about this and that and I had to point out that that doesn't apply to me for whatever reason...

Im fortunate to have CASH and plenty to do whatever I need done

That gatekeeper shit is so silly. I guess it provides a challenge to ones assertiveness, but otherwise is completely useless. How long does someone really need to live as a female to know they enjoy it? A few weeks at the absolute most.

I'm glad my therapist hates it too. When asked her to write a letter she just asked me how long I wanted her to say I'd been fulltime for. Lmao

I love her.

My Doctor has flat refused to prescribe HRT meds for me because he 'doesn't know enough about the problem' to feel comfortable doing so. I had thought he was mostly onboard with me here, but he has referred me to another doctor, and also farmed my therapy out to another agency here in Klamath Falls.

They know I am dead set on doing this and there isn't anything they can say to change my mind on that because I can do all of it w/o their input at all, including going overseas for the surgeries (I made that abundantly clear to them). Currently the only thing stopping me from buying the HRT meds myself and bypassing them all together is my recent medical issues. If it wasn't for that... I'd have ordered my HRT meds today.

EvaMarie... you rock Lady. I hope your FFS goes smoothly and the results are everything you hope for. That gatekeeper crap really is annoying.

Thanks Elaine and good luck with your doc

Well I called and got the information emailed to me from Dr Brassard and Belanger

No surprises there and it says it costs $20,000.00 Canadian, Im pretty sure the exchange rate is pretty good in my favor right now too Actually quite a bit cheaper than the US docs

I need both letters and the letter from my doctor and a $2000.00 deposit then I can set my surgery date.... The woman on phone said they have about a 6 month wait right now

Compared to FFS that sounds downright cheap Im gonna enjoy printing it all out and giving it to my worthless psych Its about time this slacker did some work for his $$$

My insurance will cover a "Sex Change" but Im gonna have to call them and find out if they will pay "out of network".... I have Wellmark BCBS which serves SD and Iowa.... I doubt there is a "network" so Im hoping they will cover this.... Even if they wont Im still going with Dr Brassard... I like the 6 month wait and NO genital electrolysis, NO WAY I want to do that All of the US surgeons want that done and most of them are booked out past a year or more....

Yes all the gate keeping is BS but from what I understand MUCH better now than it used to be... I think aside from a basic psych evaluation to make sure your not nuts, the 1 year of HRT is about all that really makes sense to me... But thats just because after getting castrated your on HRT for life... If you cant take HRT Id think you would be screwed...

All I can say is if I can watch this vid and still want to pay good money for my turn to have them perform every mans worst nightmare really that's all they should need

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OwZzVYun_Q

Thats pretty close to what Dr Brassard does from what I understand, I want one

I did my sixth laser session today, it HURT but not bad and its already mostly healed... There really wasnt much at all there I got my script for Vaniqa and I was surprised when she told me I could come in for a "touch up" for $75.00 Im hoping to just handle everything with the Vaniqa and electro but thats not a bad price if I do see more dark hairs in a few months Im going for more electro tomorrow and I should be FULLY cleared, if not I will be on Monday if I cant get it all tomorrow Im gonna say Im DONE but I doubt it.... Im sure something will grow back Im hoping to at least be close though....

So far Im doing OK on my script here going into my pre op labs but I did raise my spiro up to 200mg... Im hoping there are no surprises there and Im looking forward to my next shot on Friday... Probably gonna be a double (14mg) then taper down (again) going into surgery

Yea I cant forget about that, only 3 weeks to go now

Well it turned out all the worry about them testing E for my pre op labs was for nothing... They never tested that

Anyway the CBC and PT/PTT were PERFECT, (for a woman) Also one I'll admit had me stressed... The HIV type 1/2 test was negative

So I had a NICE 24mg shot and then went down to 20mg a couple days ago and I gotta say I feel a lot better now

Im gonna taper it down again but it will be to 14 or so mg where Im gonna try to keep it surgery or not... My last shot before surgery will be 5 days out and I will taper off the spiro and Avodart over those same 5 days... Ive decided to go off the P as of today until after my surgery...

Electro has been frustrating because my electrologist can still only work an hour at a time I really think it will be DONE Monday or next Thursday at the latest... It just seems like I HAD a lot of new hairs just come out of nowhere I think it was from lowering my E, NOT enough.... Ive been using Vaniqa and it seems to be helping already but that could also just be going back on higher E, that always slows it down

My day is coming, 9 days to go as of tomorrow

Everything is paid in full and now the days are dragging on slowly....

Theres been a few thoughts of doubt, mostly just worrying about complications or me not being happy with the results I guess....

But Im also excited!!! Every time I pluck my brows and do my makeup I think "its ALL gonna be different soon"