[The First Aria]

A very good friend and I were discussing this over PM's and Emails, and I said, too bad there is no thread to discuss this. Lotus suggested maybe that would be a good Idea, so here goes.

My Thoughts on Wanting breasts, but not to Transistion I have always admired the female form, at first, I am sure it was of a sexual nature. But as I grew past pre teen, and my first child was born... God, how lucky women are to be able to provide this miracle, as well as to provide a safe haven and nourishment as well.

It turned for me, from sexual, to more aesthetic in nature. By that I mean, the nice softness, the curves, as well as being a delivery station for children. How mind you, at the time I just didn't realize this part of it. I just took it for granted like birth, children, work, play and taxes. LOL.

While in my thirties, I felt like I was not whole, that I was lacking something. One year, my wife wanted to go to a Dress Up Halloween Party. Her suggestion, was to change roles, she would dress up as a man, I would dress as a woman. The thought seemed foreign, but still intriguing to me. As I look back, that is probably what awakened me to Cross Dressing....

The thing, In my opinion, bad about cross dressing is like putting on a crown, and saying you are a king. Real hollow. And especially when you need to have boobs, but have none.

So, when I was diagnosed with the beginnings of Gynecomastia, I was at first thinking. Why, first a major heart attack at 51 and the vary drugs that I take to keep my heart beating correctly and such has caused another pain???

But, as the old saying goes.... If in life all you have is lemons, then make Lemonade. Another words, turn a negative into a positive.

A revelation struck me. If this continues, I wont need any of that pain in the rear falsies, breast forms and such. WOW! !

Having said all of the above, I have no desire whatever to go clear over to the other side. I like the fact that I have a loving Wife, who has put up with so many things in our lives. Also, I would NOT change the fact that I have 7 Grand Children. (Grand Brats as I call them)

So, here I am... Is it GD of sorts??? I think so, but I guess that depends on the other person's insight and degree of which he/she has the same.

So, that's my background and or story if you prefer. So now, what's your story????

[Karren]

I'm not changing teams any time soon either.... Ive been dressing for over 5 decades just because I have to... so having breasts just makes the clothes I want to wear fit better... plain and simple...

[WantAPair]

As much as I'd love to transition, I want to have kids first. If it was as simple waving a magic wand, saying a spell or stepping into a booth for a moment and when that was done, I was a fully functional woman, able to have my own kids, I'd go for it right now!!

[sfem]

Transition is for those who feel there is something wrong with what they have, or just really badly want what they do not have. I am in neither of those camps. There is nothing wrong with me. I am old enough to know I can't have everything I want, so I am getting what I can get without causing undue hardship to anyone else.

[WantAPair]

According to the way things in my life have gone, I'll try waiting for something before I do something else, then, after quite some time, I give up on waiting and go with the other option only to find that if I had waited just a FEW seconds longer, I WOULD'VE gotten what I wanted in the first place!! I'll be waiting for one bus for LONG after it was due, so I get on an alternate bus and find that the one I was waiting for was practically right behind the one I just got on!! Too late to change, now!! I'm already stuck on the alternate bus!!

[Scotti]

I think I've spelled that out in one of my first posts on this forum, but for me at the moment I am in a good place in life that I really don't want to change. Having breasts (albeit small ones at the moment) helps me deal with my inner demons that have haunted me for decades. While transitioning would be the ultimate relief, for me it's not needed at this point in time and not sure it will ever be needed....

[jannet.duff]

I think I've spelled that out in one of my first posts on this forum, but for me at the moment I am in a good place in life that I really don't want to change. Having breasts (albeit small ones at the moment) helps me deal with my inner demons that have haunted me for decades. While transitioning would be the ultimate relief, for me it's not needed at this point in time and not sure it will ever be needed....

I'm with you on that. Although some days I feel the need to, I also have other commitments in my life I need to take care of first. If doing what I'm am doing now keeps my other self at bay, then I will be content to follow this path, without the transition .

[bryony]

Sorry to bore everyone who has read it already, but for the sake of completeness, I'll give my reasons.

My sub-moniker is "heretic" because I don't believe in orthodoxies, primarily because there are so many that are self-evidently c-r-a-p.

The orthodoxy has proclaimed that autogynephilia is anathema; well stuff them. I am/was an autogynephile.

I wanted breasts for pretty much as long as I can remember because they are, to the observer, a primary sexual characteristic of females, and imagining myself as one was the biggest sexual thrill in my experience. However, as it is tied in to the male orgasm, which appears to depend primarily on fantasy imagery in the mind's eye, or physical manifestations of whatever fetish is required, the irony was that when I at last grew them, I was no longer an autogynephile.

The fact that I now have two good handfuls is because I am taking enough of an estrogen-mimic to have chemically castrated myself. I therefore have none of the male libido left that drove me to grow them in the first place.

However, their existence is self-sustaining for two reasons. (1) The positive mental benefits of taking PM mean that I will always be taking it until I am physically incapable of doing so. (2) Shortly after starting on PM I developed the ability to obtain, from breast/nipple stimulation, multiple female orgasms that have, over time, far outweighed the enjoyment of the male kind.

In fact that was one reason why I stopped periodic "cold turkey", as I no longer needed or wanted the other kind, which required unpleasant mental imagery, weren't as powerful as they used to be, with a fairly long refractory period (the other reason being that my wife was no longer able to tolerate penetration and does not want HRT).

So in fact, they do provide me with a sexual thrill, but in a cis-female way, not an autogynephilic way.

To answer the other half of the question about transitioning - the short answer is that I would have nothing to gain and everything to lose.

So NOW, the reason I want breasts and not transition is (a) that their existence is dependent on me taking a substance that I depend on for my sanity, and (b) they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys! I love them!

B.

PS sorry the answer was so long!

[The First Aria]

Wow, I love the deep thoughts so far. Some are similar to my post, while others kind of hit me in areas I was not aware of. I am loving this.

[Lotus]

I never made a convincing argument to transition upon my first visit to an endocrinologist.. (which there won't be a next time lol). Basically he kicked me to the curb, (in a round about way). He did me a favor, I suppose I never had the desire in the first place to transition.

I like being a guy, but I like being a guy with a female shape.....w/boobs. I don't like makeup, perfumes, CD, wigs, doing nails, or even acting feminine in any way. past photos I've reluctantly wore a bra......you'll never see that again. Its not for gratification either, that part??, I don't know what happened there lol, well....maybe I do. I do however want a female exterior with a male core, but still present as a male. I expressed this before here....and to the endo....and to a shrink(s).......no clue from them either. The next stop was to visit universities........I'm like what's the point?. I'm actually ok with me, so's my family. I've tried to put a spin on this myself, and I get this scenario------MtftM...... (yup, good luck w/that).

I'm ok with whatever a person wants in life as long as it's done safely and with the support of loved ones, if you're on you own? see the first part. I did initially hide NBE from my spouse, I felt when the time was right I'd tell her, and it wasn't as bad as I thought when I did tell her. But, I'm also not going as far in the total transformation departartment either. I've taken this about as far as you can, in my terms. I'm not saying this flippantly...if I wanted to pass?, I could probably pull it off, albeit extraordinarily uncomfortable lol.

What does drive me at BN is pretty clear, why I have no idea. All I can tell you is when I start researching my mind goes into overdrive. I put my earbuds in and crank up some EDM, hip hop or alternative while I page thru dozens of research material, it's freaky, my eyes turn all zombie like....j/k . We're all here for different reasons or motivations, mine is to untap Breast Growth, I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant, I truly believe I can solve a portion of what prevents or promotes growth. And of course have a few laughs along the way, even if I'm the joke.