I appreciate all the traffic, but , I think we are WAY past the original premise of the thread. Can anyone spell H. I. J. A. C. K. E. D. ?? I just did.

I know, and thanks WAP. I thought it was going well, and peeps just looking at the on target replies would probably help peeps. Ya know, give them some food for thought. So as to NOT feel like they are being lumped into a Weekend Queen, or someone who needs things changed due to some mental flaw.

I am NOT saying that people who are compelled to "go all the way" has mental flaws, but it does show honest people that their can be or is reason's to just enjoy who they are without fear of being branded one way or another.

iaboy,

What started off as a great thread spiraled into something unrecognizable from the OP, that portion has now been split. The "split part" is now in the Genetic Male Gender Idenity Section for all those concerned, named "gender" for lack of a better description. The entries (posts) that followed the initial spiral had to be included in the split as part of that topic...........

I took one of those gender test quizzes and scored 67 on the M to F scale. I would just like to be more physically aligned with my brain I guess.

I am still fence sitting on full transition, but I suspect it is not necessary for me although I will strive to be less male, at least stereotypical male.

A line from a TV show (Babylon 5) that has stuck with me for a decade or so is where a female officer (Ivanova) says of an overly gung-ho type who wants to shoot everything "Worst case of testosterone poisoning I have ever seen."

Breasts are a way of distancing myself from that kind of male. Less T and more E are something to aspire to.

Back on track.
I guess this is my third on topic reply.

Seriously, I want to naturally fill my bra , no matter cup size, so I feel feminine when I dress. Its important to me and I disdain the insert, fake breasts route. I never did want the huge breast look, that's cartoonish to me.

I wanted natural and natural it will be. I have done a saline infusion once and will again but that's a temporary thing that I control the size.

Back on track.
I guess this is my third on topic reply.

Seriously, I want to naturally fill my bra , no matter cup size, so I feel feminine when I dress. Its important to me and I disdain the insert, fake breasts route. I never did want the huge breast look, that's cartoonish to me.

I wanted natural and natural it will be. I have done a saline infusion once and will again but that's a temporary thing that I control the size.

I guess, Elaine, we are a "kindred" spirit of sorts.

I think, in the beginning, not only the natural beauty, I was drawn to the female form for a reason I still do not understand.... but felt it made me whole and like you. I CD'd, but didn't like the fake boobage.

I'm at the point in my life where I feel I don't need to prove anything. I try to live by the golden rule and , to my downfall, I think everyone else does too. Although, if I looked closely, I would realize that's not always the case.

I guess in my case, I am a true fence sitter on this.

First, sorry iaboy for contributing to the hijacking of your thread. I tried to not to but I guess I lost that battle. I felt really bad afterwards cause I realized I hadn't even contributed to the original topic at hand.


I'm not sure what the driving force was in the beginning. Part curiosity, part desire, not really sure. I know I admire breasts, and as far back as I can remember enjoyed playing with my nipples. Perhaps part of me wanted something a little more to play with ha ha.

The idea of transitioning for me is just not practical. There's several reasons like, family, work, not really passable, etc. I think the main reason for me, is that I don't really feel feminine, and I don't really feel manly. I am stuck somewhere in between. I am a blend of male and female characteristic traits. Sure I sway a bit more on one side or the other at various times, but for the most part I walk that fine line between both.

It took some time for me to realize this, for in the beginning I wasn't really sure what to expect or why I was really doing it. I guess I was playing mad scientist with myself and experimenting to see what cause and effect this all would have on me. Now it's a bit clearer, and I am much happier with myself. I am shaping my body to match how I feel inside, a blend of both male and female characteristic traits.

Fire, I understand how easy it is to wander off topic.. Believe you me. I sometimes ramble myself. Just wanted to stay as close as possible is all.

I guess, Elaine, we are a "kindred" spirit of sorts....

....I guess in my case, I am a true fence sitter on this.

I suppose I'm "on the fence" as well but, not because I want to be.
I'm in a marriage and run a business. If neither existed I would probably spend so much time as "Elaine" I probably would transition.
It's just not practical right now.

I admit I've done a poor job of dealing with my femme feelings and put myself in this position. So, I do things when I'm able.
I wish there was an internet when I was in my early 30's....I probably would have learned I was not alone with my feelings.

I do know however, that one day I will have to deal with things. In fact, from where my NBE will probably be this summer (12 months at end of August) and as much as I like the pool and beach....it's coming.
I worry about it some and in some ways it will probably be a relief.

I have given up on going topless at a beach or pool. There is no mistaken my breast's.