[EvaMarie]

That's part of being a woman, Eva. That is, not damaging your guy's fragile self image. Good luck.

Clara

Knowing her she will be muttering under her breath and tapping her feet

LOL MB you know me pretty well Ha Ha!!!

[EvaMarie]

... I got it all done though, just a LITTLE stressful

So the saying is still true huh?, lol, (albeit a new version) a packin N.D. mail lady delivers her mail thru broken down pos, 95 degree temp day, and.......in a beer can without A/C no less, (rock on Eva).

Yes and dealing with my ex Jarhead male (and damn cute LOL) bosses putting pressure on me to get it done faster

We did get my Jeep fixed though, its set up better for mail delivery than the mail trucks are So I gotta work the friday before the 4th then 5 days in a row next week and the week after...

I really shouldn't bitch too much about the heat though.... Im sure its better than delivering mail on a cold snowy windy SD winter day!!!

[EvaMarie]

That's part of being a woman, Eva. That is, not damaging your guy's fragile self image. Good luck.

Clara

Yea I guess but if he cant deal with me there's always the next one, and there are 3.5 billion of em out there

[Miranda-nata-est]

Mmmmmm, this created a few thoughts....


Is all this not pandering to stereotypes a little bit? I know a couple of extremely good female mechanics and there are many, many out there.

Personally, I don't think I feel the need to somehow 'unlearn' stuff in order to be female in my own mind nor in the person I portray.
I did struggle with this for a while, the seeming contradictions between still doing and enjoying, or doing because I have to, typically 'male' activities whilst embarking on a journey to femalehood. Now, I just think it is fine just to be me and do whatever I feel like without distinguishing between male/ female tasks and pasttimes and certainly to do whatever I choose without worrying about how my activities might be perceived by the rest of the world..
For me to pretend I couldn't do things or didn't know how things work etc. would involve building another, albeit opposite, fake picture of myself for the outside world to buy into. I don't want to do that - I've only just escaped one false persona.


Secondly, those of us who have remained in an existing marriage in which we had taken the male role in terms of the tasks we performed are almost destined to continue in that male role even if they now seem an anathema to our discovered character. For sure, if the hedges need cutting, the fields need ploughing, the house needs painting, the drains need unblocking , one of the cars needs servicing etc. etc. these will continue to be my jobs.

I am not trying to make any points, just thinking out loud.

Miranda.

[EvaMarie]

Well Miranda certainly in my personal life I no longer hold much back though I used to.... And as I become more confident and comfortable as a woman it just gets easier to not feel so dysphoric especially around men concerning skills I still have that probably aren't seen as feminine by most guys... Im simply me and if it bothers them they can move on as will I But they are dating me and obviously know me very intimately so I just am who I am

Now work is a whole different deal.... There they just know me as a woman and treat me as one and Id like to keep it that way so I feel under more pressure to conform to cis peoples expectations....

I mean my bosses are men and while it would be nice to just explain exactly why and how my jeep was broke and how I would fix it I felt more comfortable just letting the men be men and me "just a clueless helpless girl" offering suggestions

[GoneGirl]

There's nothing inherently wrong with stereotypes. They have their place. The problem is judging an individual against a stereotype, and insisting that one conform to it. That's not good.

As a woman, people make all kinds of assumptions about me not knowing any better. Some of these assumptions apply while others don't, in which case, I'll set them straight if it's that important to me.

Many of the stereotypical behaviors of women are things I adopt as part of my ability to pass in a cisgender, binary gender world. It just makes the whole process of living easier to go with the flow.

Does that mean I give up doing things I liked doing as a man. Yes and no. Some things require strength that I no longer possess. Some things just don't have the draw they once did. This is a natural consequence of activating parts of my brain which didn't function in a T environment, but now do in an E environment.

But, I won't stop doing something I like just because it's not stereotypically female. That's putting me back into a box which doesn't fit who I am. I don't need that.

Clara

[Lotus]

There's nothing stereotypical about Eva, she's in a class all by herself. Imo her strength and determination are inspirational. With Eva you get "damn the torpedoes full speed ahead", that's unique.

Eva, I'm glad you share your experiences, ......... my apologies, I was in the wrong Dakota, lmao.

[EvaMarie]

Thanks Lotus, just being me finally

Work has been getting better every time I go out now... I did Thursday and Friday in 9 hours and 15 minutes only 15 minutes over evaluation isnt bad but I have some ideas on how to get it down to under 9 hours... Guess I'll find out in the next 2 weeks cause my regular is on vacation and I'll be full time, Id think by the time thats done I'll be pretty good at it Im hoping after that to start training on other routes so I can work at least 3-4 days a week...

Was at the tittie bar the other night and this HOT biker man starts hitting on me at the bar... Kinda scary because he had NO clue and once we got out back by his Harley things were really getting hot and heavy and I knew Id have to tell him Well he honestly didn't believe it until I proved it to him.... Scary shit there but he was OK I guess, that was the end of that though I know if I was post op Id have just went with it and not said a word... Even more scary to think about being read after the fact though.... It can really suck being TS, "dating" and 100% "stealth" is just a fantasy at my age and in this age of computers... Yet I gotta just keep going and hope things keep getting better Ive found that guys have NO idea just whats involved here... He didn't even believe my tits were real and said they must be implants... Ahh no Bubba they are homegrown and all me
"Ah yea I take female hormones" some guys just don't get the whole concept...

Progress has seemed slow to nonexistent but my day to day experience is telling me otherwise 20mg EV shots every 4 days and a 250mg hydroxyprogesterone caproate shot every 8 days with every other E shot sure hasn't hurt I really like the HPC shots compared to prometrium... I seem to get all the positive effects of P without the negatives There is definitely zero androgenic effect and body hair is GONE in all "male" areas and it even seems to really help slow down and even further reduce whats left... I mean I shave my legs, pits and arms once a week now Still taking the dutas and 200mg spiro but Id love to eventually drop both someday and just go with E and P shots....

That said Ive seen no real growth for a long time now but I have seen them become more rounded out and feminine looking, the nipples have gotten even bigger and unmistakably feminine... Its obviously about a lot more that just tits though

[GoneGirl]

You're a risk taker, Eva. I admire your courage, but question your judgment in some of the things you do. But, hey, don't take offense, in so many ways you have been a role model for me. I love you, honey.

Clara

[EvaMarie]

You're a risk taker, Eva. I admire your courage, but question your judgment in some of the things you do. But, hey, don't take offense, in so many ways you have been a role model for me. I love you, honey.

Clara

Honey I just get treated like any other woman now Problem is I still have that damn thing

Lost a few pounds since Ive been working