Posts: 130
Threads: 16
Joined: Dec 2014
18-07-2015, 07:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 18-07-2015, 07:40 PM by
Naomiko.)
We cannot choose what people think say or do, but we can choose how and if it affects us.
As we read, there is often a voice narrating the text in our heads, usually with some sort of emotional charge -- especially if certain words or phrasing trigger the feelings that a part of us is being attacked. When we post, we post a piece of ourselves that (generally subconsciously) we want affirmation, validation, and acceptance. When we think or do receive the opposite, we react with the need to defend, justify and sometimes go on the offensive. (A good offense is sometimes a good defense). But as things escalate, it becomes mutually assured destruction. I hear a cautionary tale with Susan's, though I wasn't there to see what happened.
This was never a split, as was said. There was, however, a growth. That being said, there will be times when long running members will part ways for whatever there reasons. That doesn't take away how much this site and its people have offered and helped that person, but sometimes paths go separate ways. Even so, the beauty of the internet, is we can still check in once and awhile and not be completely separated from those that we appreciate.
Lotus, all my deepest empathies and prayers. Thank all the Gods, heavens, angels and karmas that your Little Lotus is surviving and healing. I'm sure it goes without saying, you have immense love and support here and if you ever need to yell, scream, vent, cry tears of grief and relief, you have our ears and shoulders. Hopes and Prayers that the road of recovery is quick and strong, not only for your child, but for your emotional recovery as well.
And thank you Lotus. Not only for sharing, but for pointing out the bigger picture. We lose sight of the tapestry when we focus upon a single thread. Our planet is but a grain of sand in a cosmic ocean, which is one of billions of other cosmic oceans. Yet when we encounter troubles or disagreements, we make them out to be bigger than creation itself. If we stop holding onto the burning coal, it will no longer burn us.
Makes me think of the "Yelling Boss" metaphor. There are 3 employees in a meeting room. The Boss is screaming, completely tearing into Employee #1. For Employee #1 the Yelling Boss is a negative experience.
Employee #2 can hardly suppress his satisfaction for he dislikes Employee#1, and loves that #1 being yelled at. For Employee #2, the Yelling Boss is a positive experience.
Employee #3 is just doing his own thing, the yelling boss is background noise, and #3 isn't overly concerned one way or the other. For Employee #3, the Yelling Boss is a neutral experience.
The Yelling Boss isn't inherently positive, negative, or neutral -- its relative. (Like those aforementioned dress pics). Sometimes it's helpful to re-read a post and use an effeminate Morgan Freeman, Ben Stein, or Siri as a narrator. There have been times (even on BN) where people become angry arguing the same damn thing in two different ways. There's more than one way to take everything.
Take a serious look all around you, all the objects and people. Everyone you talk to, love, hate, encounter. There will be a day when everyone and everything will be gone -- including you Dear Reader. If you were to disappear in 5 minutes, do you want your last 5 minutes to be full of anger, hurt, and/or other disturbing emotions? Do you want to pass those negativities onto others? Would the post, that didn't meet your expectations, disagreed with, or attacked you, still hold cosmic importance?
Or would you rather enjoy your last 5 minutes with peace of mind, embracing who you are. Maybe even sharing smiles with others. Attitudes are contagious, be the change you want to see in the world.
so that would be no to muscle car devotion in your past?.
