[Ways Tonn]

Unsure what most peoples largest dilemma would be in this sectiom but for me it is definitely the fear of my significant other either, leaving or being absolutely disgusted. This fear has locked my secret up forever and has only let out to close online friends. While I have voiced this concern of mine in the GD section and got mostly be honest. She deserves to know, etc. And while I agree, sadly my gf isnt like theirs who are encouraging supportive etc in men taking on feminine appearance let alone characteristics physically. We are both devout christians and while im relaxed on the ideology of this stuff and beliefs she definitely us very old school and would consider it sin sin sin. Which is ironic cause she doesnt mind some of my feminine enjoyments. Shaving legs, underwear, concealable bras. She knows im very in tune to my fem side but does know im masculine and dont care to be a woman at all. Workout, lift heavy, steel worker, etc. But my fear is if I develop large enoigh breasts that cant be hidden not only what will she think but her family and friends who are pastors and super christians and such. They arent jjdgmental folks but obviously when I suddenly appear to have bulges under my shirt questions will come up. While I plan to use the medical excuse most do im curious if that will work.

Also, secondary fear is infertility. I use natureday and it works wonders but i want aureole and nipple expansion and female like without using suction, i want it all natural. Obviously it seems natureday provides enough stimulation for growth but not enough hormones to change other things like aureoles and nipples. Even the biggest growth on their site has man nipples while it seems nipples and aureole puffiness and growth seem tk be the first thing to happen breast wise with PM. Curious obviously its playing with fire, but curious if 1000mg or 1500 daily is enough to develop, but not enough to longterm destroy my chances of a kid. I need breasts its in my strongest desire so i take zinc and nettle to boost natural t but obviously doing that may make pm irrelevant. Any advice?

Main question: How has your significant other dealt with your growing breasts and to those who wear bras, how have they come to grips with you needing one? Looking for heavy advice here especually from those who's SO is unaware of how it happened. Im 29 and would be awesome to get insight from anyone in the age range also as i feel (no offense) older married folks doing NBE are at the point of able to do what they want, grown, kids grown, time to grow boobs to hell with the old ladys thoughts lol.

[The First Aria]

This is one of the reason's why I thought we needed a section like this. The problems we face or have to think about are not like that of a TG. I mean some of them parallel, but I think ours are different in the fact that if I ever wanted to go TG, and people couldn't or wouldn't accept me, I would just do it and expect them peeps not to be a part of my life, end of story.

But with us, or peeps like us, we want our cake and eat it too.

I truly started developing Gynecomastia due to the heart meds and lack of circulation from belly button down due to P.A.D.. So, my wife knows I didn't immediately start down this path on my own. But I am also 60 had 4 children and 11 Grand Kids, so for me, I don't care if I am fertile anymore.

My wife knows what I am doing, and over the last year, especially, has accepted the fact of me intentionally growing breasts. She also on occasion helps me shop or makes suggestions on what bra's to stay away from etc.

I am at the point in my life, I do not go out of my way to be flamboyant, in your face or any of that. But, I am tired with putting up pretenses on who or what I am. I would not trade fatherhood, nor being a male EVER on a permanent basis, but love the fact that I can turn into female for a few hours per week or month depending on mood and opportunities.

Great thought Without. Way to show the reason why this can be a special place, within a special place of BN.

[jannet.duff]

Just a quick reply, keep in mind that sooner later she is going to notice. If she is the way you portray her to be, she will more than likely leave you anyway. Telling her is going to be hard, but you cannot keep it from her for ever. As for kids, if you want to be 100% sure of bed g a father, I would look into freezing sperm whilst it's still viable.

[Ways Tonn]

I met her when I was completely flat, I am a mild A cup now, i take it incredibly slow, being together about a year now. If I was single I'm certain I would have had a nice bust by now but I don't and its cause I want to take it incredibly slow. I'm 29 I'm not in any rush, but I would like to begin.

We all have secrets, and no one is honest about everything. I intend to keep this my secret. I do not intend to grow in your face full C-D cup breasts, but I would like to have some development over time. I know it doesn't matter how slow I go, once breasts are there in shape, volume and obviousness...than that's it, no going back, no concealing there. I am still able to go out in normal shirts and such with lil poking out but nothing to draw attn to.

Thanks boy, I really appreciate the kind words, its def my biggest concern. As I have been told by many on here, be honest, its not right blah blah blah, and they are all the ones who are with wives and such who encourage and support it completely....mine def would not, so its easy to say be honest, when people have people who will accept it and they know they will, vs people who have people who know they won't accept it and it becomes a is it even worth it concern to grow breasts and risk it, or let it just be a desire that haunts me a few weeks a month and put it to the side.

For me too, its ironic cause it's when my testosterone levels are up that I want breasts the most, than we will fool around (she loves playing with them btw, idk if its she loves it or the reaction she gets when she does but i like to think its a bit of both) i'll get off, and the desire is gone...there i find myself returning or refunding orders or tossing them out and in a week or two im back at it. The tug of war with it all is very tiring financially and personally. Love everything about my gf wouldnt trade her in for anything, just wish she was def one who was like "you want to grow tits? thats kinda weird to me, but long as you do it safely and dont get bigger than me (38c cup) it's whatever, i think it'll be fun to have something extra to play with" sadly that too is fantasy lol

[Dianna1395]

I'm of two minds about this.
I also have an unsupportive woman. As in the type who says, "Caitlyn's a freak. You're not, but..." (Jenner, in case you're wondering. Let's not debate on that, it's OT here.)

So... She doesn't want me to have breasts; but knew before she moved in that I was TG. That was a decade ago, and she's "so supportive" - I can finally sleep in a bra without her flipping out.

So, from my perspective, I see nothing wrong with, following a full disclosure and no marriage, doing things on the sly. That's in my case; she knew I had taken hormones, knew I wanted to be feminine, and knew I could be manipulated. Turnabout, etc.

But you indicate yours won't accept, either. And you indicate girlfriend, not wife. Not fiance, either?
No commitment yet.
And her family - I was born into a Roman Catholic family. I was caught a few times. You can guess where that went...

So - seems to me it's VERY risky.

OTOH, can you maybe make her more comfortable with your breasts? Make it foreplay? Maybe she'd come around that way...? But maybe not, and it could out you to the world. So what would the fallout there be? (I'm in a state where there'd be minimal professional fallout, and we have NO social connections here, so... That's not an issue for me. But other places, especially your home town, where you grew up and everyone knows you? Might be a reason to rethink.)

You also don't mention other things that might apply. E.G., you said you were flat-chested. Were you skinny? Do you have hips? Low body fat %? These things can make a difference, too - if you're fat like me, you'll look like a guy unless you really DO have hips - so public might not work. But maybe you could make it a game, and see where it goes?
Or, there are shows that could work out to your advantage, "It was what was on." E.G., "I am Jazz" (TLC) and "Becoming us" (ABC Family. Late transition, not as good as "I am Jazz," either. Choppy editing, objective seems to be to show the son is a douche, and the fathers are trying to meet all their obligations while being as femme as possible, without breaking anyone. Should be available on demand. Preview them first, just to see them and know what's coming - even if you have to pretend to be surprised...)


Jumping tracks, but - back to my growing up for a moment.
Even before being found out, I had felt out my parents. Didn't have shows, obviously - didn't need them. Gay jokes went over their head (E.G., one of the Pink Panther films, Peter Sellers, a "woman" comes out of the men's room, he makes the comment, "Getting so you can't tell the difference any more." I had to explain it, and the Drag show he was attending, to them... It was over their head. Despite their enjoyment of "Victor Victoria". And most gender-bending in the films, even if NOT played off as pure silliness, was either "perversion" or Perversion. We're talking about a mindset where "Ferris Beuller's Day off" was a dirty film because of the shower scene, where he's talking to the camera... And I was 10, 11, 12?

Point being, you can feel everyone out a bit, using Caitlyn or Jazz or someone in the news (and bring it up either for or against, or let it go and see where it leads.)
Anne Vitale has papers on sexism in MTFs, and also one on how Testosterone seems to increase the dysphoria. (Can't link, the company is being dicks again.)

And then, there are options you can do for "medication" - online pharmacies and Vitamin shoppe, etc. Get T-blockers, see how you feel. Use it as a diagnostic. It's the second prong of the fork - see how YOU change, and decide if SHE is worth it. Because you might find that the dysphoria can be managed without transition; or, maybe she'll get nosy, like the "new you," and WANT more of that person.

Lastly, I'm pessimistic, or jaded. ;-)
Prepare to lose her. It's part of a Samurai mindset: Live as if already dead, and you can fight without fear on the battlefield. You won't die there, you're already dead...

If you're afraid of losing her, you probably will... If you can keep resolute and less emotional in talking things over, you will be in a stronger position, and present things in a better way. And if she still wants to walk away, you couldn't stop that anyway. You keep control of yourself, and offer her the choices, once you determine what you can and will live with.

Lastly, if you have any health issues, do your homework, as you can easily find meds that will cause the desired side effects.... ;-) whether gyno or just low T. If they apply, you can talk to the doc about them, and you don't need an excuse - it's the meds.

Think it through and plan for where YOU want to be, and you might well get there. [Unless she's like my GF, in which case, run the F away. BEFORE it's too late. the Alpha woman quiz someone posted here? I took it pretending to be her, and as me, and we're both Alpha with some beta characteristics. I'm more Beta than she is, which means, more aware of and caring about others. YMMV.]

[Ways Tonn]

Very accepting friends family and home town no worries on any spectrum.
I dont have dysphoria of any sort i know down to the thread who and what i am. Just a normal guy with an abnormal desire. I see nothing wrong or confusing in self about it honestly.
And flat chested as in i am well in shape. 11% body fat and i workout daily to maintain and work toward a better figure but yes i do have hios no waist to make the feminine figure but i do have good sized hios that give me a nice round butt.
I have always had low t and feel its just my natural being in that spectrum of things.
I wont lose her maybe if i went to like a d cup lol but i just want a small to mild b cup where i can still hide or if it shows it doesnt shoe dramatically. Shes ok with bras and such long as they arent of the feminine fashion (pushups lace etc) she knows my fem side is strong but also knows im not tg or a cd at all jjst enjoy softer things in life from legs ans undies to breasts hehe.
I know the shows but i dont have interest in them but they are good for the tg community since im not tg at all or have ties to tg folks i dont find the appeal for myself.
My gf is not alpha at all shes very submissive she enjoys a strapon and such but thats as dominant as she gets and even ay that she requests it not just pulls it out and on lol. My gf is my gf and there is commitment there we are planning to marry jjst waiting on me to make more money. Right now i make just over 14 an hour which is mediocre here in st louis but still poor. I want to be secure financially before being secure romantically. She is super understabding and i dont fear id lose her at all jjst fear i may regret it once they are there but its a desire i cannot kick at all and sadly facing fears is the only way to get over them and facing this fear means growing real feminine breasts not moobs or fleshy chest but breasts lol

[The First Aria]

I was somewhat surprised by my wife's attitude. She knew I was diagnose with Gyne. After having it for about 2 yrs, I started to get pro active in making it progress faster.

About six months ago, in her own way, she confronted me about it. I don't remember her own words but something like she acknowledged that fact I had Gyne from the meds I have been taking and possibly the fact of my circulation problems. But she was aware I was taking "vitamins" to enhance my problem.

About 2 months later she said to me, "Lets go bra shopping, we both need new ones, yours are not giving you good support and mine are needing replacement.

I about fell on the floor.

So the moral is, you might be pleasantly surprised. Especially if you work her into the idea of it. As far as the rest of it goes, family and kids, I did my job raising my children it shouldn't detract from me because of my man made condition.

[Ways Tonn]

Haha that would be awesome if i got the same offer as you did with shopping lol. My gf is aware i have a feminine side. She knows i enjoy panties over boxers and other things and its not a cd thing its they are comfy as hell kinda thing lol. But i dont qear em anymorr cause she accepted it but def didnt embrace it and i compromised and tossed em. She's okay with them but it doesnt make her overly comfortable and i dont want to make a burden over panties lol. Ive worn seamless/wireless bras often round her and friends gym etc. Shes okay with them cause they dont show wires or pushup or lacy etc basically they are manly as bras get to her and concealed by the tabk top style design. While i dont need bras quite yet i do get excited thinking of having to have them and it would be so awesome if she offered to go bra shopping together lol. Our anniversary is next tuesday maybe ill make that my request haha.
I notice many waited post kids and such before nbe and I wish i could too sadly I feel so compelled to have them that even in the slow process and tossing out i feel by the time we wed and have kids ill be a solid b cup jjst from small timeframes of use and quit and back at its. Id rather jist dive in ya know. ..other situation is swimming lol....

What did your wife do when she found out it was induced not natural?

[The First Aria]

Well, it was either take the heart medications, or perhaps die. So, of course she understands that what kick started it was mostly Rx Meds. She was a little concerned and I could tell a little peeved. But as I said, we have moved past it somewhat.

I still would never dream of CD'ing while she was around, unless we get invited to a costume party again.... Then all bets are off. ROFL.

She is like a little kid in that if they see a ghost, they think by simply pulling the cover's over their heads, then it don't matter. Same as she knows when she's not around for 4 or more hrs, I am at least going to put on more feminine clothes.

I already have to wear women's jeans cause they fit me better. I have lost like 20 lb's in the last 9 months, but my but/hips feel flabbier than before. With men's jeans, I have to wear 38's so they don't feel so tight on my rear, and really have to cinch the belt so they don't slip off. LOL. I proved it to her by accident one day. OOOPS I did, show my butt, unintentionally, but I sure did. LOL So now she knows I purposely buy women's jean's.

[Ways Tonn]

Haha i can definitely see the understanding there....yeah i dont like him having tits but its better than him being dead i guess...hah. does she know you are intentionally taking estrogenic herbs? Or does she believe its all just meds and a take the good with the bad situation? I hear that PM can definitely do everything lab estro can in terms of fat redistribution and such so that could def explain the change in clothes for comfort jean wise or even if not pm estrogen dominance in men in general. If love to wear womens jeans but cant seem to find a style or brand that passes as mens jeans also. All i seem to find is low rise or flare and then the unisex boot cuts still have swirly feminine designs on the pockets and such lol cant seem to win there lol. How big have your breasts gotten may i ask? Pretty obvious they are there and if so how do you handle them?