[GoneGirl]

The N-word is in the dictionary. Do you use that word too? Do you use it even if your audience finds it offensive? No? Then why keep using words that I'm telling you are offensive to many transgender people? I don't call male-identifying cross-dressers 'transvestites', or men who want breasts 'fetishists'. Those words are in Webster's, too.

A LOT of people do! A LOT of them are black!! But, at least that is derived from a place in Africa, Nigeria. Nigerians were brought here and we bastardized the name to "nigger" and made a racial slur out of it. I'm sure "niggardly" is also in the dictionary.

Why wouldn't you? That IS what a cross-dresser is!
Maybe it IS a KIND of fetish to just want tits, but, fetishes USUALLY have to do with sexual preferences...anal sex, foot worshipping during sex, leather, spikes and studs worn during sex, a guy that can ONLY get off wearing women's clothes, people that can't get off without LOADS of abuse, a guy that keeps a slice of cheese in his underwear.

Yes, I could use those words, but I don't because I know that many of the people that those words refer to are offended by them. To use words like that, which you know are offensive to people, is a slap in the face. Words like 'tranny', 'shemale', 'T-girl', etc. are used to invalidate me as a person. Even being referred to as a 'trans woman' when it serves no purpose in the conversation is hurtful. Unless my having transitioned is relevant to matter at hand, I'm simply a 'woman'.

[GoneGirl]

Clara, just so you know, I COMPLETELY support you doing what you're doing with your body/life!! NOBODY should be told by ANYONE that they CAN'T do what makes them happy, ESPECIALLY with their own body and life, as long as it hurts no one else! If you WERE to get your own forum here, I wouldn't interfere in the LEAST!!!!
If I were in a different societal situation, I'd not only want tits, but the whole ball of wax!! But, I'm stuck in a family that is almost highly religious and very prejudiced!! I, quite often, here them making crude comments about people like you & I or people with darker skin!! I'm actually pretty surprised that they weren't at ALL opposed to me dating an Indian girl in the `90's, who was almost as dark as most black people! Her own family used to make cruel jokes about her being so dark when she was a little girl in India! "No one will ever want to marry you because you're as dark as the niggers!" Her own mother said things like that to her!!
When my sister wanted to have people from her high school band (she played clarinet) and invited the whole band (about 20 people, I think) over to swim in our pool, my dad was FURIOUS because the lead trumpet player was a black kid!!!! As far as dad was concerned, having that kid in our pool would taint the water and he'd actually have to drain it (16' x 32', 3' - 9' deep!!) and put fresh water into it!!!! Not only did he raise the roof, he also had the kid married to my sister!!!! She had to tell him that "he's just a guy in the band, not really even a friend, but I CAN'T invite everyone else in the band and not him!!" Didn't matter to dad!! The night of the party, he went up to my grandmother's house so he wouldn't see his pool water being defiled by that kid's dark skin!!
Yeah!! Right!! Love thy brother!! (What a fucking joke!!) As long as your brother is the same colour and has the same sexual preferences as you!! Otherwise, feel free to destroy them!!
Anyway, take care and give us a big hug!! (((((((((((((((((Clara))))))))))))))))))

Thank you, WAP. Hugs back.

[GoneGirl]

Well, I think my purpose in creating this thread has been accomplished. Hopefully one or two readers got my message and adopt GLAAD's guide on how best to refer to transgender people in the public arena. Thank you for your comments.

Clara

[EvaMarie]

Well yes we need a term or word to describe "us"... But I can tell you that especially in public but really anywhere I just expect "Miss" or Ma'am", "She" or "Her"... I sure as hell wouldn't want to be referred to as "Transgender or ered" or TS or"Tranny", or whatever is "correct"... Im not going through all this just to "transition" to anything but just another woman though

[GOboobs]

Your insights got me thinking more about male and female brains and how brain structure differences affect us transgendered.

I've read that wanting to take the submissive role in sexual acts is common among the MTF transgendered.

What a horrible reminder of the blatant acts of discrimination we transgendered face in our public lives.

I've read other sources that have made the claim that a high percentage of transgendered are software engineers and technologists.

I can't recall ever encountering a TS in public. But, I can't say I was on the lookout for them either. I was largely ignorant of the transgendered until maybe 5 or 6 years ago when I ran into 'shemales' on porn sights.

I think that dynamic was instrumental in her eventually coming to accept me as transgendered.

I don't like that implication, because many of us transgendered are not sure how far we are going.

Being in a room full of transgendered people, it became so obvious that we are a separate class of gender that currently is not officially recognized.

[SarahSchilling]

Bahahahaha

[GoneGirl]

Yuppers. If you go back over a year ago, you find that I, too, used the word "transgendered". Eight times to be exact, as you kindly point out, OH. The last time was back on 5-27-2014. At that time, I was totally in the closet. Only my wife knew of my TG issues. I was taking herbs (PM), hadn't yet joined a TG support group, and I had no intention of transitioning. You could also say that I was pretty ignorant about transgender matters, in general. I'm not positive, but I don't think GLAAD had yet come out with their Transgender Media Reference Guide.

Since then I have not used the word "transgendered" to describe transgender people. The word implies that being transgender is a choice. Transitioning is a choice, but being transgender is not. That distinction is a big deal, because if it were a choice it would probably be classified as a paraphilia (mental disorder). It isn't, but there are plenty of people who still believe that nonsense.

So let's stop arguing about it. If you want to go on using a word despite me telling you that it's offensive, go ahead, do what you must.

[GOboobs]

Yuppers. If you go back over a year ago, you find that I, too, used the word "transgendered". Eight times to be exact, as you kindly point out, OH. The last time was back on 5-27-2014. At that time, I was totally in the closet. Only my wife knew of my TG issues. I was taking herbs (PM), hadn't yet joined a TG support group, and I had no intention of transitioning. You could also say that I was pretty ignorant about transgender matters, in general. I'm not positive, but I don't think GLAAD had yet come out with their Transgender Media Reference Guide.

Since then I have not used the word "transgendered" to describe transgender people. The word implies that being transgender is a choice. Transitioning is a choice, but being transgender is not. That distinction is a big deal, because if it were a choice it would probably be classified as a paraphilia (mental disorder). It isn't, but there are plenty of people who still believe that nonsense.

So let's stop arguing about it. If you want to go on using a word despite me telling you that it's offensive, go ahead, do what you must.

You're kinda missing the point there. When you were using "transgendered" you weren't doing it out of maliciousness or anything, were you? So why assume that other people who use the exact same word that you've used have some other meaning behind it?

Maybe GLAAD hadn't added it to the list of words that they find offensive back then. You can't expect people to magically change overnight. Especially when there are support groups for the tg community that are still using "transgendered." Like the Boston Belles Transgendered Support Group (surprisingly located no where near Massachusetts.) The Angels, proudly supporting the UK transgendered community, the Chi Chapter Crossdressing/Transgendered Support Group, and so on.

So sorry that people, including those within your own community are using a term that you and some others suddenly find offensive (for a totally ludicrous reason. adding "ed" means it's a choice? How on earth does one reach that conclusion?) It's a bit ridiculous to expect everyone to bend over backwards to accommodate changing guidelines. People are going to keep using words that were fine not that long ago. Get over it.

[GOboobs]

And btw, I find your logic to be very puzzling. In the very first post of this thread you said "So even males who identify as male but intentionally grow breasts, feminize their bodies, or dress in women's clothes are transgender"

So in your eyes, people like myself, WAP, iaboy and others are transgender. Yet you've referred to us as "guys with a breast fetish" and used that phrase with the intent to demean us. Perhaps you should take a look at yourself before you start criticizing people over something like having an "ed" at the end of a word.

[flamesabers]

I'm from the camp in which words are only as powerful as we let them be. Consider how words like "nerd" could mean a socially inept loser or a computer genius. Cracker is regarded to be a derogatory term for white people, but I'm not bothered by the word in the slightest. I treat it as a silly insult. Some people take offense with hearing swear words, but I'm not one of them.

I feel like I'm coming from a different generation when I say I recall there was a time not too long ago when the problems transsexuals/transgender individuals feared (or sometimes faced) was along the lines of losing one's job, being disowned by family, losing one's kids, getting assaulted or even murdered. In comparison, talking about being offended because someone doesn't abide by your verbal etiquette sounds so petty in my humble opinion. I think a part of possessing a strong sense of self-identity (no matter where you fall on the gender spectrum) is having a level of self-fortitude that doesn't bend or break every time someone says something to you that you don't like.