27-07-2015, 03:48 PM
Anne Vitale writes:
Being gender dysphoric in a society that barely acknowledges the existence of such a condition requires the development of coping mechanisms. Some coping mechanisms are more overt and obvious than others. But no matter what the individual does to survive, one thing is certain, everyone who suffers from gender dysphoria must eventually come to terms with his or her situation.
For those of you that have/are experiencing gender dysphoria, what were/are your coping mechansms?
I grew up and lived my entire life up to a couple of years ago giving no outward indications that I was transsexual. Furthermore, I led my life responsibly and even excelled in a few areas. Still, since childhood I have been gender dysphoric, and that condition, in retrospect, now that it has been largely treated and no longer a problem for me, affected me in ways that limited the happiness and effectiveness in my personal life.
Being able to cope with my gender dysphoria, made it possible for me to avoid dealing with the condition directly. Of course, in my time, the professional understanding of gender issues was almost non-existent, so even if I had wanted to pursue treatment, no avenues were open to me to do so.
First, let me say that I exhibited no effeminacy in childhood. I was clearly identified by those around me as a boy and was never referred to as being a sissy. I avoided engaging in girls' activities, but avoided rough and tumble boys' activities. I was not socially a loner exactly, but preferred to have just one friend, and avoided groups. I read a lot, and enjoyed doing things on my own. People say I was reserved, but not really shy. I was not clumsy, but didn't enjoy team sports. I remember being envious of girls and fantasized being a girl, but never believed I was a girl.
I was not really aware of it at the time, but now I know that my GD exhibited itself as chronic mental stress and anxiety. I channeled it into excelling in academics, and later into my career. This served to distract me from my mental discomfort and feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I didn't use cross-dressing as a coping mechanism, but did depend on closely guarded fantasy to help quell the tension and stress when distraction was not enough. I disliked my physical body and my overall appearance. This dislike grew stronger and stronger as I aged. I particularly hated body hair and would shave it when possible, but otherwise I simply avoided looking at myself in the mirror as much as I could. Also though I was sexually attracted to women, I never felt comfortable as a man in the bedroom. That was another source of anxiety that was particularly troublesome for me in my dating and my two marriages. I relied heavily on fantasy to overcome my inability to play the accepted male role in lovemaking.
Of course, those who have followed my story over the past two years, know that I discovered my female gender identity buried under my constructed male facade, and that I am now transitioning to living as a woman full-time. Rebalancing my sex hormones and altering my body and facial features to be more feminine have almost completely erased my GD. I'm fortunate to have a wife who is understanding and supportive of my transformation, so that the cost of my decision to transition as been mainly of a financial nature to cover the various medical procedures that I need to correct my "wrong body" discomfort.
Clara
Being gender dysphoric in a society that barely acknowledges the existence of such a condition requires the development of coping mechanisms. Some coping mechanisms are more overt and obvious than others. But no matter what the individual does to survive, one thing is certain, everyone who suffers from gender dysphoria must eventually come to terms with his or her situation.
For those of you that have/are experiencing gender dysphoria, what were/are your coping mechansms?
I grew up and lived my entire life up to a couple of years ago giving no outward indications that I was transsexual. Furthermore, I led my life responsibly and even excelled in a few areas. Still, since childhood I have been gender dysphoric, and that condition, in retrospect, now that it has been largely treated and no longer a problem for me, affected me in ways that limited the happiness and effectiveness in my personal life.
Being able to cope with my gender dysphoria, made it possible for me to avoid dealing with the condition directly. Of course, in my time, the professional understanding of gender issues was almost non-existent, so even if I had wanted to pursue treatment, no avenues were open to me to do so.
First, let me say that I exhibited no effeminacy in childhood. I was clearly identified by those around me as a boy and was never referred to as being a sissy. I avoided engaging in girls' activities, but avoided rough and tumble boys' activities. I was not socially a loner exactly, but preferred to have just one friend, and avoided groups. I read a lot, and enjoyed doing things on my own. People say I was reserved, but not really shy. I was not clumsy, but didn't enjoy team sports. I remember being envious of girls and fantasized being a girl, but never believed I was a girl.
I was not really aware of it at the time, but now I know that my GD exhibited itself as chronic mental stress and anxiety. I channeled it into excelling in academics, and later into my career. This served to distract me from my mental discomfort and feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I didn't use cross-dressing as a coping mechanism, but did depend on closely guarded fantasy to help quell the tension and stress when distraction was not enough. I disliked my physical body and my overall appearance. This dislike grew stronger and stronger as I aged. I particularly hated body hair and would shave it when possible, but otherwise I simply avoided looking at myself in the mirror as much as I could. Also though I was sexually attracted to women, I never felt comfortable as a man in the bedroom. That was another source of anxiety that was particularly troublesome for me in my dating and my two marriages. I relied heavily on fantasy to overcome my inability to play the accepted male role in lovemaking.
Of course, those who have followed my story over the past two years, know that I discovered my female gender identity buried under my constructed male facade, and that I am now transitioning to living as a woman full-time. Rebalancing my sex hormones and altering my body and facial features to be more feminine have almost completely erased my GD. I'm fortunate to have a wife who is understanding and supportive of my transformation, so that the cost of my decision to transition as been mainly of a financial nature to cover the various medical procedures that I need to correct my "wrong body" discomfort.
Clara
