[flamesabers]

Hello all.

I know brain rewiring has been discussed at length elsewhere on the forum, but I'm curious to read what mental changes has brought about to the non-transitioning bio-males. Also, has the changes been a positive or negative for you? And for those who haven't experienced mental changes, would you like to? Why or why not?

(Why do I feel like I'm a teacher writing discussion questions for my students? )

[The First Aria]

Hello all.

I know brain rewiring has been discussed at length elsewhere on the forum, but I'm curious to read what mental changes has brought about to the non-transitioning bio-males. Also, has the changes been a positive or negative for you? And for those who haven't experienced mental changes, would you like to? Why or why not?

(Why do I feel like I'm a teacher writing discussion questions for my students? )

I think to a good size degree, I have. I used to like denim, regular colors like all shades of blue, except pastel anything. Greens, usually the darker tones.... And I am not sure, if this part of it is due to my life changing heart attack, but I try real hard not to call bull shit on bull shitter's. So, I think I am a lot more forgiving, or maybe its empathetic????

I now love the lighter shades of most colors, except for the real bright colors. ( that part has not changed ) Like I hate BRIGHT orange and yellow's still, but if they are pastels, or slightly muted, that works.

Even before my gynecomastia set in, I felt more at home in a night shirt, than a pair of pajama's, prefer nylon silky panties to anything cotton, unless extremely soft.

But, I cant claim I want to go more female, in mind at least, than I wanted 10 yrs ago. I say that even though I wish I could pass for female a little better so I don't feel like I am restricted to what ever strikes my fancy.

[Epicene]

I haven't experienced any changes other than feeling very slightly calmer when on PM, but I haven't felt much else. I feel that a lot of the effects mentioned on the forum may very well be placebo effects (in regard to NBE) though.

[The First Aria]

I haven't experienced any changes other than feeling very slightly calmer when on PM, but I haven't felt much else. I feel that a lot of the effects mentioned on the forum may very well be placebo effects (in regard to NBE) though.

That's a real posiblility. I also think that it really varies by each person as well, I can only attest to my personal thoughts going back over the last 5 yrs or so.

[Epicene]

I haven't experienced any changes other than feeling very slightly calmer when on PM, but I haven't felt much else. I feel that a lot of the effects mentioned on the forum may very well be placebo effects (in regard to NBE) though.

That's a real posiblility. I also think that it really varies by each person as well, I can only attest to my personal thoughts going back over the last 5 yrs or so.

I'm sure the effects have to vary a lot. Reading about medicine, it seems like the only major mental effects estrogen is supposed to have are in emotions, pleasure, libido, and aggression. There may be more that just aren't generally accepted yet or I haven't read enough about, but I can definitely see those effects. When people say that they were driven to transition, their preferences changed, or experienced some other major change on outlook, I think that it must spur from their sense of feminization instead of NBE's direct effects.

I'm nowhere near the medical professional qualified to say anything about this though. It's just my opinion.

[The First Aria]

I think you are at least 1/2 right....

Think of it this way. As "boys", we are programmed from birth to act, feel and think a certain way.....

Now, in my case... When I got interested in cross dressing, one of the draw backs was having to stuff bra's, either with fake boobs or other objects. It took away any satisfaction having to do so.

But since my heart attack, and the associated meds, gave me gynecomastia and my attempts with helping and steer it.... It was a blessing in disguise.

But with the hormonal changes, also comes an upending of one's traditional thinking, role and I believe as a result a total changing tide of likes, dislikes and attitudes.

I think the He-men, that transition fully has had that buried deep within the soul. But for what ever reason they were driven to fulfill it.

Maybe for us that like to feminize, but not change teams fully at this moment maybe fooling themselves. OR, like me... I feel that Cross Dressing is just a way to escape, relax and tell the world to go to hell, if only for a few hrs.

In other words, it's just a degree. Hence the whole spectrum involved.

[MonikaT]

I've tried combinations of the various herbs, including PM @ 2000 mg/day for about 2 yrs, and didn't experience much in the way of mental changes. In fact, the only way I experienced budding with PM was to up the dose to 3000 mg/day. I've now been on 2000 mg BO/day for a couple months and haven't noticed any mental changes either.

I've always been more empathetic than most males perhaps because of lifelong depression. I'm no more or less depressed doing NBE than not doing it. I cry more easily these days, but I think it has more to do with having to come to terms with my own mortality. I came very close (maybe had 24-48 hours left) to death from sepsis in November 2014. Now, my kidneys are failing, and we (it's a team effort between the doctors and me) are trying to slow down/preserve what function I have left (about 40%).

My sense of style hasn't changed. I know what I like and have since before I could talk. As an infant/toddler, my mother would hold up clothing, and if I liked it, I would try to grab it.

I've always been something of a contrarian, loving to prove others wrong especially when they underestimate me, and they always underestimate me. The sepsis resulted in amputation of my left leg below the knee. I then spent a week in the hospital, 2 months in a rehab facility for physical and occupational therapy, and a couple weeks at home before returning to work full time. I recently learned there was concern among peers and managers that I was returning too soon. In retrospect, I probably did, but I survived it and came out the other side a lot stronger. I even received an award for a project I took on because nobody else seemed to want it, and general consensus seemed to be it couldn't be done. Being ever the contrarian, I quietly tackled the problem and had most of it solved in a couple days, though it ultimately took a couple months to have a complete solution.

Almost dying has had a lot more impact on me than NBE. I no longer feel I have time to waste on other people's bullshit. I've always been blunt and had to work very hard not to piss people off. Now, I generally don't care. I'm tired of having to sugar-coat things and soften everything because someone's feelings might get harmed by the truth. E.g., we had a server upgrade project in full swing when I returned to work. I was building new servers left and right. One of the developers started asking stupid questions. We were upgrading from Windows 2003 to Windows 2008. I built all servers to the specs provided. He then asked that I confirm the new servers all had Windows 2008. I told him to stop being obtuse. Why would I waste time building servers with the OS we were trying to eliminate? Furthermore, all he had to do was get to the logon screen which had the OS version plastered all over it.

Do I want the purported mental changes others ascribe to NBE herbs, etc.? I'm pretty happy with who I am and don't think I need them. Perhaps I need to be more calm, but that's not me. On the other hand, I'm also not particularly driven and do not buy into the whole Stephen Covey 7 habits, constant striving to be better, always sharpening the saw until there's no more blade to sharpen mentality. If I spend an entire weekend sleeping or just sitting doing nothing tangible, I'm fine with it. I don't feel a need to always accomplish something. I don't feel a need to always be in motion like my male co-workers. I couldn't care less about the big game. I don't bond with others via activity, but rather via conversation. According to the SAGE test, while I present as male, I'm very androgynous other than the attempts to feminize my body by trying to grow breasts. I'm happy with having a penis; I just wish it was more than just an exit point for urine, but antidepressants ruined that and the doctors refuse to help--I've been to several.

I think the so-called re-wiring some experience is wishful thinking especially since it is temporary (reduce the dose or stop taking whatever it is, and the re-wiring reverses). There was a time when people thought mixing aspirin and Pepsi would get you high or drunk. Tell people you dropped a couple aspirin in the Pepsi they just drank, and they'd begin to act drunk or something. After they made a fool of themselves, tell them the truth--there was never any aspirin in the Pepsi--and they had no explanation for sobering up so quickly. Oh, and green M&M's will make you horny. People believe what they choose to believe and act accordingly. I think NBE gives some with male bodies an excuse to behave in a way they've always wished they could, but society told them "men" don't behave that way.

[jamiemason]

I think everyone is different in the way their body reacts to herbs and hormonal changes.

For me, like others on PM, I am calmer, and have little interest in sex. That's not to say I don't want sex or seek it, it's just my energy is focused elsewhere, less male, and more feminine driven, if that makes sense.

I find myself taking more time dressing, and I enjoy the feminine feelings and processes a lot more than I did before. There are days when I feel soft, and emotional too. All in all, I feel good.

I do believe we are 'wired' genetically, but also through our environment and influences too.

Do I think we can change our thinking? Behaviors?

I do.

Being/acting feminine wasn't natural to me. I had to learn it, after all, I am a bio male and was raised with the same habits and experiences. Inside I felt feminine at times, always have, but it was a matter of self training and acceptance to associate my thoughts and feelings with mannerisms and actions. Now, acting feminine is as naturally to me as acting male, or the mannerisms that come with being male.

So yeah, I agree people can act however they desire, but when you alter chemicals in the brain as herbs can/and do, then your thoughts and body react differently.

[flamesabers]

Monika,

Yes, I would think near-death experiences would have a greater impact on a person than NBE or just about anything else for that matter. The finality of death can easily be very sombering.

As for brain rewiring being wishful thinking, I partially have to disagree with you based on my own experiences. Yes, there is always the possibility of the placebo effect. However, this contradicts the notion of me readjusting my pm dosage to obtain the optimal rewiring effects. Since when does placebos require changes to maintain effectiveness? Also, bear in mind I never experienced rewiring while taking red clover, FG or SP. In addition, I long since considered my libido and crossdressing desire to be aspects of myself that are unstoppable for lack of a better term. Given a sufficient dosage of pm along with an anti-androgen like spearmint curtails my libido and my interest in crossdressing.

For me, I don't see NBE or rewiring as being an excuse to act in unmanly ways as I don't feel pressured to act macho or whatnot. My interest and participation in crossdressing never would have survived as long as it has if I needed an excuse like NBE herbs before undergoing the task of buying and donning women's clothing items.

[MonikaT]

I'm willing to at least consider this: If a person has a male body and a female brain, perhaps NBE substances, if strong enough or in a high-enough dose, will, by virtue of lowering T or altering the ratio of T to E, make the brain feel better. I would then argue that the rewiring phenomenon is an indication the individual is likely transsexual. If E or estrogenic substances causes angst, depression, panic, etc., then there is some sort of fetish or other issue at play driving the desire to feminize. In essence, E is what separates the men from the women, both cis and trans.

So, what about those of us who seem psychologically unaffected by E? I don't know. I have always been a sensitive male. My feelings would get hurt easily. I've always been a blend of masculine and feminine traits. To use the various stereotypes found in the gender tests, I'm good at most things associated with females--I can read facial expressions, am kind and caring, can spell and write, and can cook and sew (at least well enough to repair clothes). I also have spatial abilities, am good at math (my college major), can locate the direction a sound comes from, have mechanical skills, and know things like turning a glove inside-out means it will fit on the other hand, like men are supposed to be able to do. In a lot of ways, I really am dead center between male and female. Perhaps that is why NBE doesn't affect my brain--mine isn't distinctly one way or the other.

My deficiencies are a lack of competitiveness, an inability to multi-task very well, I have a poor sense of direction and don't read maps very well, but I can re-fold one. The poor sense of direction may have something to do with being cross-dominant (I confuse left and right unless I'm driving), and if I don't think about it, I can do a lot of things with my left hand despite being right-handed. I'm a walking contradiction.