[julieTG]

Have been mulling the last week ?
Obviously we all here have some degree of GID, what it is and trying to label it is a difficult process, but the question in my mind is
Do we feed her or starve her ?
There was me after my last attempt at breast growth where I had a WTF moment at I believe 7 months , cannot be exact as had a major purge, ie all my data files were deleted, small fortune in bras went in the furnace, all my photos deleted and even deleted most of the beautiful girls here,
I successfully ignored the girl within for almost 2 years, not a flicker, not a pang , zip nothing, when an email came in from a forum it was do not open , ignore, ignore, forget. Even the wife said you had zip mentioned about her, not even a flicker. I could look at a pair of panties and just go um yeah and ?
She was dead or not there, or so it seemed,
Then we had a ticket to the Rocky Horror show, and the wife said lets go, and you can dress, ah right ?.
Weeks before she asked are you going to dress and my mumbled response was well, um yes , maybe but you know she will get all excited,
YES SHE DID , about 4 weeks prior I noticed the switch to ambidex hand usage or even full left hand, I also leaned to the left, that’s always a sign she is waking up, then the dull aches in my very much reduced breasts started and they started to swell a little all on their own, she was back , here again and this time a little more determined.
So one week prior to the show after getting very excited and full of frission at her new outfit, she reached for the PM again,
Sat at the show in full dress, first time out in public , she was at home , watching her toes wiggle in stockings, and actually knowing she was growing breasts was an OMG this is good moment, calm and happy.
Then she went almost desperate for breasts, praying at night to have some beautifully formed mounds, then the pm started calming the frission, and the pendlumn became more neutral , then the can I hide them, am I doing the right thing, Im a MAN, then yes Im a man who is different, unusual , ha s a gift started, then the wife said must get you a better wig if were going out again, omg she was leaping up and down with joy. We all know the cycle.
So my question is ?
Just what do we do with the GIRL inside, do we ignore and starve her ?
Do we let her out to play ?
Does she get worse if let out to play or does she get worse if ignored then breaks out all guns and bras blazing ?
Do we feed her herbs/hormones to sedate her, or does she grow when she has those female appendages ?
It’s a very difficult conundrum, I have the best wife in the world who actually is fully ok and has no problem with me growing boobs, whether when they develop into real boobs she may throw the brakes on , not sure , she says not, ?
Still we travel on this path with trepidation, excitement, curiosity , even wonder as to how a few small capsules can sprout these very silky attractive mounds from my chest , certainly a damn sight faster than the times before.
Onwards , forwards, watch I don’t trip on those damn heels next time,

Julie

[The First Aria]

Hard to follow rather you are referring to yourself as a 3rd person, or if it's your wife you are referring to.

I take it your wife is A. O. K. with your CD'ing???

If that is a yes, then you can strike a balance maybe, if not, I would suggest you or you and her seek professional advice. It's, IMO unusual for someone to swap dominant hands just because he/she wants to wear a dress and frills.

Please don't take the above as a personal attack, I am somewhat worried and concerned is all.

[julieTG]

Lol
I'm good
But it's a classic sign of being bi gender

Which I think I am ?


Julie

[The First Aria]

Lol
I'm good
But it's a classic sign of being bi gender

Which I think I am ?


Julie

I would tend to agree, that's not the issue... But to refer to yourself in the third person, and what you say about your feminine side gets tangled with your wife... Seriously, have you ever talked to somebody about your thoughts and such?

[julieTG]

Um ?

Gets tangled with wife in 3rd person , not that I'm aware but will read again

As far as Julie in 3rd person , yes there are 3 people in this marriage

Me
Wife
Julie

She is another side to me but possibly melding into one , not sure

Unlike you perhaps when Julie arrives its 2 people in one

Many on here are not like that

Go on bigender.net

You will see

Julie

[WendyA]

I would tend to agree, that's not the issue... But to refer to yourself in the third person, and what you say about your feminine side gets tangled with your wife... Seriously, have you ever talked to somebody about your thoughts and such?

Please leave your amateur psychology at the door. Julie's post was crystal clear and consistent with a certain level of gender dysphoria. Those of us who experience some gender dysphoria have all typically had the WTF moment and felt the shame that caused us to destroy all hints of our experiments into the opposite gender.

If you haven't experienced these WTF moments or understand what Julie is conveying it may be because you came to your current position via a separate path that didn't include gender dysphoria.

I have experienced many of these WTF moments over the decades. 17 years ago I grew tired of all the WTF moments of ditching my panties and ditched all of my male briefs instead. I decided that from that point forward panties would be a constant. Since then gender dysphoria has peaked a few times.

The end of 2011 I weighed in at about 260 and found PM for the first time. I went through many months of tender breasts and tender emotions. At some point in 2012 I stopped while waiting for a large PM order and never picked back up.

In Jan 2014 the gender dysphoria peaked again. I searched for where I placed the PM but I couldn't find them. I was 280 and due to a lack of PM and the thought that fatter moobs wouldn't be a good thing I somehow managed to refocus myself with the goal of losing weight. Now, 21 months later, I am under 180 lbs, I finally have bras that fit and have worn one every day for 10 weeks. This time instead of PM I am going for a little more peace of mind and with my wife's blessing I will be doing Informed Consent HRT. I will not ever be presenting as anything other than male, but I think this will give me the perspective for which I've been looking.

@julieTG I guess I have decided to feed my inner girl this time.

[The First Aria]

Yep, opinions are like Rear Ends, there are always quite a few hanging around, make a lot of noise but nothing good comes of them. Right Reality Protector of Juliie... aka Hopefulmale.

I would further add, that most people who claims GD, should go and get professional help before they end up as a statistic. If you really have such a cavalier attitude HM, that's on you... I am really concerned when an intelligent person bounces between worry, reality and getting so caught up in nightmares that they just sit in neutral and proceed to no where. Makes a Long life, into a short one sometimes. Usually No Where is Suicide, either of the body or the soul.

I maybe an amateur, but I have seen it happen to a very close friend.... I visit him whenever I can, but do NOT like cemetery's.