[julieTG]

Options a Gendered dysphoric Man faces,
Many of us here are married or in long term valuable relationships or in careers where suddenly announcing to the world that changing sex would upset the apple cart a little so to speak.
Yes some transition , and do well both in work and marital relations, but this option is not for all especially if not TS.
So what options do we realistically have, especially if the purge cycles are coming ever closer, i.e?
Mine used to be 4-6 years, now there every 2 years after reaching explosion point a few years back i.e. something had to be done,
The options as I see them but the point of this thread is to see if I have missed anything and so that others far more versed and experienced than I can add useful positive input,
Try and find out if the problem is a
Fetish or TS condition, or a scale of GD,
Now a sure fire way of GD evaluation which encompasses all in spectrum is to try HORMONES , either Pm , herbs, synthetics, oh well I passed that one , so I have GD, of some nature ?, i.e. felt good, happy and calm on them , where a pure male brain would go off the scales.
The only problem if you’re married TS and hormones are tried, it can boost the urge and suppression becomes hard, or in some can sedate, especially low dose not transition dose, but this is a gamble and it can be either way, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm difficult, Pandora box stuff.
Now if its fetish , which is surprising in number , low dose could work , by killing the sex drive so you look at a yummy bra and panties and go well, yea ok nice , but nice. Now on full level T boost a fetishist would have a tingle up spine and a hunger develop very quickly, sometimes leading to multiple masturbations especially she-male porn, which links well to vitelle theorem.
Now for me I am undecided on this one as still convinced that it could be a fetish for me, but the only negative on that page is the coatial drop is not as long , i.e. after “relief” the dead feeling comes but where it used to last hours/days, it’s now minutes ??????? and then back to the urge to grow again, but that’s on a normal t level rating , so low dose hormones do the job there as well ,lower T, fetish drive drops.
Many report here that by the use of PM, synthetics, other herbs the sex urge drops by somewhere between 90-30%.
So in summary
TS, it’s a gamble and a biggy if no transition intended, as many true ts once e gets in the system it’s a must must have more situation, phew think pass that one,
Fetish, may as well try low dose
Middle spectrums, may as well try low dose
This leads us onto lowering T,
Herbs, pm, and low dose synths will all lower T,
Synthetics, even at super low doses will calm but most people will be sporting an A or B pair after 2-5 years no matter what the dose,
PM is as good at growth as synths but allows the adjustment times to be more stable, i.e. quicker or slower,
General herbs, growth minimal, but very good at mini growth and can take the edge of the T drives, now there are two type of mini herb combinations
One that reduces T drive and calms, and no e input for growth, these will calm but not always balance as some gd brains need a t drop and an e boost to fully balance,
Two, calming t programmes and the addition of e,
This is why I like pm , i.e. good e supply and drops t, but if pm will not stabilise me and just carries on growing me I would need to go to hammer doses of option one and just drive the t into non existence,

Dressing,
Um well for me it’s never done much as I am not a cd, again dressing for sexual relief OMG yes, but for some of us on this spectrum dressing works well and is all that is needed a few times per year,
Dressing in stealth,
Well yes this works for me, which brings me to the fetish angle, but this goes up and down like a yo yo so see dropping T level down and I have no interest what so ever,
Therapists,
Well yes they have their uses, but labels are labels and many are far to indoctrinated in their belief systems, however TALKING TO SOMEONE IS A HUGE HELP, this is why this forum is superb as we are real here not flamers and labelists. Also confiding in someone I think can be massive in its therapeutic structure.
Shaving,
Full body shaving is calming and also an identification for you as a gd or tg persona, not obvious to the world but very much so in the mirror, and in bed, you feel good.
Sausage removing route,
Um lets go and see a doctor, hop up and down tell him you really need to be a woman, once synthetics are prescribed many mistakes can be made, there are many who went down the synthetics route, grew too quickly, got excited by the new girlie bits as pharma is stronger , then with a fully developed chest, ruined marriage, no job, exiled from the family suddenly realised they were not TS and there are some on this board that this paragraph applies.
Now perhaps the safer route would be to
Either
Try pharma at super low doses, self med, well we are all doing it here ?
Or
Consult a private Doctor and tell him your aims and run regular blood tests and other levels, this way you do not have a huge TRANSGENDER mark on your Gp files, then order pharma on line,
The only reason is that pharma is labeled sausage removing route here is due to the once cleared for hormones route its almost as if the system has said yes you’re a woman so off you go to be one, yay.
Pharma is more addictive than PM,
Also if your self medicating your still in the “should I be doing this shit territory”, so your going in eyes wide open, not with the Doctor said I can be a woman approach .
Events out and Functions,
Now my first time out dressed was a few weeks ago which I have to admit I ENJOYED FAR TO MUCH AND MOST DEFINITELY WANT TO DO AGAIN, but it was the anticipation that started me back on pm again, after I felt really good but calmer, so is this an option for us all, should we be actively dressing and going out , well sound s like FUN ?
Not parading out on our own as many of us are not lucky enough to pass, but gangs of us for social meets ie TG weekends at resorts, theatre, gay bars, drag venues , places where nobody will notice or bat an eyelid,
Now right at the start of my relationship I remember saying to my wife about the KINK, would it not be wonderful if I could dress and just go away as a woman with her in Cornwall for the weekend, she did not seem overly impressed , but said well if it came to it and you had to that’s what we will do. Its never happened but has been suggested at other times, as she seems keen for our next event.
So would dressing up and having a dance and a drink help ?
Ignore the poss TS/Tg/Gd factors
Yes we could do that
If TS we probably would explode and as some say that horrible phrase “transition or die”, but on the positive side , some TS physically transition , but not socially
I am fairly sure that if I was to completely ignore all desires and go kill her, she would come back and bite me harder in 2-3 years, but that’s a guess only,
So I am stuck as many of us are here and faced with having to
“slowly transition to stop a faster transition”
So in other words between a rock and a hard place, it’s a path I am on but not by choice, so hence this thread to see if there is any
Calming option I have missed and in a way hope a summary for some newbies popping in ,
One more option is to listen to the rocks on this site ie
Sfem, pansy, flame, Samantha, karren, lotus, bryony , holmes, many, many more,
WE NEED A THREAD TO BRING BRYONY BACK, I miss her,
They have been at this a long time and calm and stable, my only caveat on that is
If sfem and Pansy suddenly decide to go full way to transition then I for one will get very worried as there my mentors,
Sorry to ramble , but am putting all to the forum as a record just in case I grab my male rock dive under and build a home, and vanish for 2 years,
Julie

[The First Aria]

I agree with the majority of your "little rant" as you labeled it. I believe you are about 99% on mark.

Great Post!

[julieTG]

Thank you

Julie
X

[Lotus]

Julie,

I must admit you are a hard person to keep up with lol (e.g. 30-40 threads in three weeks), course, I have no room to talk either, lmao. I think it's safe to say everyone handles their GID differently. Can you judge the severity of said GID by someone's actions?, I dunno, maybe. For instance, I bury my GID in research, and by that action my GID is crazy out of control, lol. In other words, keeping myself busy researching takes the focus off of my GID and puts that focus squarely on the shoulders of research. When I started here at BN I was rough around the edges (being new to social media, aka- socially challenged) and lol, we stepped on a few toes eh Julie?.

Getting back to GID: other folks may deal with GID by cross-dressing, porn addiction, role-play, gender specific social media, meditation, the bowling alley, target range, fishing, eating disorder, harmful things, yoga........yada yada yada.

The bottom line is finding some relief to relieve the stresses of GID, not addressing GID clearly derails some nice progress already made. Stress increases T via Cortisol/SHBG, and that's going in the wrong direction. If someone gets to you, nip it in the bud, no pun intended, or move past it, (Distress equals success.......always be moving forward)

Good luck.

[julieTG]

Ha yes
Toes
We did ?

Yes agreed on stress

I go girly almost instantly under heavy load

So one more to options list then

Relax


Julie

[Skye is on fire]

ÎI would say, and just my opinion /2 cents, but if your marriage allows you to explore your female side and you are willing to play by your partners rules, then by all means continue to do what makes you happy. My point here is not a one size fits all, but if there's a little wiggle room, then maybe looking at it as a shameful way and purging might be the old antiquated way of thinking about it. Don't purge anymore and just put it away as if it was your toy box and play later when you have the urge. GID issues have come along way since I started. Now it may be becoming more mainstream and better understood. Maybe not everywhere, nevertheless more commonplace. If someone is on the fence about whether they are ts or not, allowing yourself to explore without the misconception of shame and purging could help one be happier going in either direction. (Cheaper on the purse too. But like I said, just one opinion amongst hundreds of others.

[julieTG]

Hi silly girl

Purging yes absolutely right

But yes we do put it away now as we both know she will be back

Julie

[jannet.duff]

ÎI would say, and just my opinion /2 cents, but if your marriage allows you to explore your female side and you are willing to play by your partners rules, then by all means continue to do what makes you happy. My point here is not a one size fits all, but if there's a little wiggle room, then maybe looking at it as a shameful way and purging might be the old antiquated way of thinking about it. Don't purge anymore and just put it away as if it was your toy box and play later when you have the urge. GID issues have come along way since I started. Now it may be becoming more mainstream and better understood. Maybe not everywhere, nevertheless more commonplace. If someone is on the fence about whether they are ts or not, allowing yourself to explore without the misconception of shame and purging could help one be happier going in either direction. (Cheaper on the purse too. But like I said, just one opinion amongst hundreds of others.

Yes, agree with you on that.

[flamesabers]

Julie,

I find it difficult to personally relate to what you're saying. Whether it's an old habit or a defense mechanism, my tendency is to avoid allowing a single issue or aspect of myself to be the center of my life for extended periods of time. For better or for worse, I think I don't need to obsess or devote all my energies on a single pursuit in order for it to be important to me. In other words, the default mode for me is to have a clear mindset that can freely engage or disengage in a wide variety of activities and considerations. There have been exceptions to this rule in my lifetime, but usually they are when I'm either very stressed, or I'm deeply unsatisfied with my life. In either case, I strive to remove the stressors or improve the quality of my life to regain a sense of normalcy.

In the realm of gender, I don't see it as a matter of having to choose from options A, B, or C. Instead, I see it as a journey to find a sense of equilibrium between energy inputted and fulfilling my expectations. Investing too much energy can be a major burden, just as having lofty expectations can be very disheartening when such dreams are not being achieved.

If GID is the so-called elephant in the room for you, I strongly talking to a therapist. If you can find one you have a good rapport with, therapy I think can really help. When you're deeply engrossed about a particular difficultly, it can be very challenging if not impossible to think outside of the box. When I was struggling with depression, I was stuck in the mindset I had to make dramatic changes in my life in order for my mood to improve. I was convinced I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps in order to beat this depressive episode. One thing I learned from my therapist is it would be easier for me to achieve my goals if I wasn't so hard on myself. While that may sound obvious to others, it certainly didn't cross my mind when I was trapped in a depressive mindset.

Julie,

I must admit you are a hard person to keep up with lol (e.g. 30-40 threads in three weeks),

Agreed.

[Pansy-Mae]

If sfem and Pansy suddenly decide to go full way to transition then I for one will get very worried as there my mentors,

Hi Julie,
'fraid I have the attention span of a goldfish these days, so I haven't read all of your 'ramble', but from what I HAVE read, my reply to all your points would take me a week to write and be an entire thread on its own!

The one thing I will say, is regarding the quote above... I can't speak for sfem, of course, but for me, NO CHANCE. In fact, as time goes by and age advances, I seem to have less and less inclination to move either side of my 'middle ground' point. The pedulum has swung back and forth for many, many, ( about 60 I guess) years and appears to be finally coming to rest.