Posts: 553
Threads: 36
Joined: Oct 2011
Yeah, that "Both" option is always missing.
I like the bipolar model of gender expression, a "Masculine" and "Feminine", especially when the sex and gender match. Second best, a congruence between the gender presentation and overall physical form.
When they clash, I see a problem - something's "wrong," which is why there are few pictures of me, period - let alone en femme.
Let's just say I clash. :-P
Hopefully I can correct that some by the end of the year... Get some weight off, build some strength, lose some pooch. I need to double-down on burning the fat, though. If you have a belly, you're a man... No belly, you're a girl with no hips. ;-) (From someone who has already passed down this road and transitioned successfully...)
I think part of it is, I want to BE her, psychologically - to be beautiful, wanted, and a center of attention. As a male, I was always "reminded" (sometimes quite aggressively) that I was not the center of the universe... Or, more accurately, that my opinions (and I) didn't matter. (For comparison, my sister got a car at 17; dad covered her medical expenses through college, and she was a semi-pro Rollerball girl - to the tune of $10K in a year for broken bones and ER visits; she spent her inheritance on "fun", I went back to college - yet we both "wasted" our inheritances from the grandparents... Please forgive the bitterness, this goes beyond double standard, or even two standards, one for men and one for women, and goes straight to: I'm the only child, and held to impossible, opposed standards; she, as the adopted daughter, seems to have been given everything, including license, not freedom, from as young as possible. I was the "sensitive" type, she was a bitch. I think I should've just told people where to go, and used the inheritance to transition when I was young enough I'd still look like a female... I lost time and happiness, and those can't be recovered. I gained a stressful professional job, and still no acceptance from family for achieving what they told me from earliest memories, was important for happiness.)
Sorry for the rant.
I was placed in a tiny little box, I think, told what to do, what to be, what to want, and that there was ALWAYS enough time in the future for what _I_ wanted.
My bitchy, nasty, not half as smart adopted sister was given total license...(Second child syndrome, maybe?)
Why NOT be a woman? It's Freedom... Free from responsibilities, free from restraints, free to emote and be expressive in looks, body, face, dress. Freedom to change your mind. To be as beautiful and couture as you want, or as grungy and filthy as you want, and no one can say anything! You can be a powerlifter, a construction worker, and engineer, a doctor; never suspected of being a child molester just because you're near children (including your own!) Legally protected, as well, and with men willing to help you basically everywhere. Can be strong when you want, and weak when you want, and no one thinks less of you.
But as a man? First time you're not Alpha Man, Rugged, Tough, Stoic... Well, you're just not good enough. EVER.
Even if you love a challenge, why bother? It's Sisyphus, every day, all day, and you're selfish if you take time or space for yourself; yet if you don't take that time and space, you end up destroyed.
It's enough to become a hermit.
Might as well take the "easy" way out... (which is only easy because we're already wired for it. And still hard because we have to work so hard at understanding and becoming. It wasn't given as a gift by mother nature...)
As to the post tile? I can't understand how women aren't turned on by their own bodies. :-) I'm DEFINITELY turned on by the process of becoming who I want to be... What I want to be.
Isn't a dcotr turned on by helping patients? An engineer turned on by building a bridge or a machine?
Why is autogynephilia such a BIG DEAL, save that some idiot pshrink iwith an axe to grind mis-categorized something and - being an outside observer with no objectivity - fouled the entire concept from beginning to end?
What's wrong with being turned on by being an object of someone's affection? Isn't that a part of love...? Being able to fulfill someone else's wants, and have your wants met at the same time? Seems like a definition to me, where "two become one flesh" in a sense. Complements. Parts of a whole. Not "Me" and "you", but "US", together, united.
To me, it seems our modern wolrd has a two-way street for women, and a one-way street (labelled "DO NOT ENTER") for men.
He must meet her needs and wants, comfort her, make her whole, baby her, protect her, provide for her, ensue the future is handled, and never once objectify her.
She needs to... Lie on her back and get taken care of, until it's a good time to divorce him for cash and prizes.
Hmmm.... Tell me again why WE are seen as "sick" by the APA? The above is almost textbook narcissm written into law, and enforced socially as well as legally.
