[julieTG]

Perfect BODY-MAP
This morning in the shower I noticed a pointy boob sticking out from beyond my arm,
Thought ooh,
I looked at myself on head on in the mirror, there was my penis, nice and large and semi eager,
Smooth shaven tummy,
And
Two now quite pointy breasts, larger red swelling aerola, and 2 very eager nipples,
I thought yes sweet,
I don’t want feminine looking, shoulders, arms or legs,
I want to be a man as am one, just one with a VERY STRONG FEMALE SIDE,
Am I alone here ?

Julie

[Dianna1395]

Probably a surprise to no one, I'm more of a binary type.
I don't like the "male" side, though I love the strength. Probably a two-pronged pysch issue, I grew up during "GRRRL POWER" and saw the girls get preferential treatment.... While also being somewhat abused by my peers. I could talk to the girls until late in school (Meaning, there's a split that develops between boy and girl about the age of 7, and they go different directions for a while, then come back together as mature humans. I was not "one of the boys," so I could talk to the girls, even though I wasn't one of them, either. I guess I was "relatable"?)

I don't like the look of female body builders, and I'm awfully close in some ways, but that's because of the male frame... Which is even more distressing, talking about the shoulders. (Linebacker.)
I'd rather be petite, feminine, graceful. And women have FAR more power than they realize, and I was aware of that power since I was a child.

I'd rather be all girl, in that sense - but there's no rewind/erase button in life. I can't even go back to college years and feminize from there. Pity. :-(

Now at 40, I lost 10 years of life, and it's getting to hurt pretty bad - not only because I'm not feminine, but also because of the lost time, lost growth, lost potential (multiple directions, not just a gender thing).

At the gym, I look around at the women, and I'm just in awe of them - and they don't even realize what they are or what they have. Poignant and sad.