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Coming out and I'm a mess.

#21

(09-11-2015, 10:30 AM)Ellie Wrote:  Spent another weekend en femme with a friend who I haven't seen since June. This time we were out in my home city. :o Went shopping on Saturday and bar crawling with him all day on Sunday. ^_^ It was really great fun.

So far all my friends have been completely accepting over how I present myself, and it's almost as if they are blind to it. This is a good thing.

Since starting this thread I've had more time to think about it, and at the moment leaning towards an androgyne identity. One thing that's making me think this is that I have absolutely no preference on pronouns, and have said so to anyone that has asked. I ask them to use whichever pronouns come naturally to them since it makes no difference to me either way. Interesting thing is they seem to stop using pronouns altogether after that. ^_^ haha. They just refer to me by name instead of s/he, her/him.

I can live with that label. Maybe it will change with time and maybe the Thursday appointment will make things clearer. I still worry it may be a cop out. Oh well. Feeling a bit better anyway. Thanks for the support friends. Smile

Good on ya Ellie!
I'm sure you have made the right decision. As time passes you will know the right path too follow. And the therapist can have a peak in your head to clear out the pink fog.
Your wise beyond your years.
Bobbi
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#22

Thank you bobbi ^_^ You've been a great help.
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#23

So my first meeting was yesterday, and it really hasn't helped give me any clarity. Felt a lot like she was echoing back to me what I was saying. Then again, maybe that's what therapy is about? I dunno. I have weekly appointments now anyway. She also put me onto The Queer Alternative which is a LGBT group for the alt crowd that is very active in my city Smile I'm likely to bump into them this weekend.

Luckily I have some great friends who have been helping enormously. <3 I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing, keep being me and let everyone else figure out their own labels because damned if I can work it out. ^_^
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#24

Hi Ellie,
Sorry that the therapist wasnt more help, but maybe it will all come clear in later sessions. But I do believe that you are headed in the right direction and it sounds like the pressure is off of you.
Like they say Que Sera, Sera. Its worth giving a listen to the words if you get a chance.
Hugs
Bobbi
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#25

think I was just hoping for too much from it. We spent the hour mostly on my life story, which there is a fair bit of. There were some important things about all this I would have liked to have mentioned but they never came up. Like you say, the picture will probably become clearer as time goes on. Smile
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#26

LOL
bloody labels ,

I was chatting via email with a

canadian biker the other , day , big build, lots of facial hair, bike, gang friends the works

really nice guy

but he went on pm , grew ummmm very well developed breasts indeed

does not consider himself, trans or girlie in any way,

he said I have wanted a pair of female boobs for 20 years so I went and grew some, fuck the world "I am me"

fucking awesome

love him


Julie
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#27

(13-11-2015, 02:17 PM)julieTG Wrote:  LOL
bloody labels ,

I was chatting via email with a

canadian biker the other , day , big build, lots of facial hair, bike, gang friends the works

really nice guy

but he went on pm , grew ummmm very well developed breasts indeed

does not consider himself, trans or girlie in any way,

he said I have wanted a pair of female boobs for 20 years so I went and grew some, fuck the world "I am me"

fucking awesome

love him


Julie

It takes some courage to do that, for sure.
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#28

It is all done Smile Had my second and last appointment with the therapist earlier this week and she has said that it seems my head is pretty together at this point so regular appointments won't be needed. Kind of figured out the problem I was having for myself. No matter what label I chose for myself, either transwoman/genderqueer/genderbender/androgyne/agender/bigender etc, I'd get claustrophobic by it and jump out of the box and straight into another one. The labels are limiting, and if I were ever to settle on one, I felt as though I needed to conform to that label, even 'male' and 'female'. I'm not having that. Maybe there is a label that describes me best, but I'm not going to let it define me.

And on that note, I am now fully out of the closet. Told my mum last night (she had a bit of a hard time with it, but it's all good now Smile ) and made a public post on FB as well, so everyone knows. I'm fine labelling myself as 'trans'. It gives me plenty of room to manoeuvre.

I have a new course of laser treatment starting next week, and seriously considering moving onto pharma in the new year, but we'll see how it goes. Smile

Owning it since 2015


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#29

Yea! Glad you have things sorted out. I think the only label I would give you is 'beautiful'. Inside and out, I'm very happy to have met you and had the opportunity to travel for a while with you.
Bobbi
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#30

thanks bobbi Smile really appreciate your support.

I'm sure the journey is far from over! Feels like I've only just got my feet on the ground! And even if I move onto pharma, I'm not leaving Breast Nexus ^_^ You peeps are too cool <3
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