[JosephineDreams]

About 9 months ago I swore off NBE and threw away my remaining supplies. I tried to bury this all and pretend it never happened...

But I'm back here again... why?

Well the desire to try to grow breasts has come back full force and I'm finding it hard to stop myself. To be honest, the desire never went away, I just managed to suppress it for a while.

My breasts, the little I managed to grow in the 8 months I was using PM, have shrunk back and have taken a more masculine look again. There is still some shape which is visible in a side profile. I've attached 2 pics for comparison (because I'm an attention whore like that).

Now:
   

End of 2014:
   

I'm not sure what the point of this post is but... maybe someone will talk me out of it, or vice versa.

At least this post might be useful for anyone wonder what happens when you stop using PM.

So I'm looking at this Oxford Vitality PM which I was thinking of trying... I know Ainterol is the favourite here but that stuff is quite expensive if I remember correctly. Maybe I will take a punt on this for the rest of the board to see if it works...

I think last time I was kind of erratic with plan changes and such. I might just try PM on its own for a while and see what happens.

The weird thing is, the last couple of days my breasts have been aching like as if I was taking the stuff. Maybe just a coincidence.

Now I need to check on the progress of the people I used to know on this board and look on jealously at what I missed out on...

[tanysquirrel]

Whether it is chemical dependence or psychological benefits, only you can truly determine.

Though I am not a psychiatrist, may I suggest you ask the following questions for your consideration. ( please do not be offended, it is not my intention) .also, you need not answer, these are rhetorical, not requiring an answer. Just answer to yourself.

1. Why did you want breasts to begin with?

2. How did you feel while growing them?

3. Were you confident, aroused, ashamed by them? All of these, none of these?

4. What caused you to discard your supplement? Was it shame? Perhaps your body having a surge of testosterone, signaling you to discard the pm?

5. Do you feel a sense of regret having discarded your supplement.

6. Think of your breasts growing at this moment. Do you feel an ache, a pulse, throb or any other familiar growth feeling? If so, perhaps. Your mind is already hardwired.

7. Think how you feel about purchasing th pm before you actually do. Do you feel a sense of shame or guilt?

[julieTG]

Hi Josephine

Welcome back

I too stopped and am back so your not on your own

Just take it slow , perhaps lower dose

Try powder in milk , may work cheaper

Hugs

Julie

[julieTG]

Ah yes
Forgot to reply to that point

Yes breasts can grow pre any supplement , mind started growing just at the decision that I was going to restart

Both had deep aches

It's the same when I look at Ellie's photos and others

Both breasts ache deep

Blush

Julie

[tanysquirrel]

Those questions and others I had to ask myself occasionally as my breasts started to bud.
As they become increasingly noticeable and more rounded and feminine, they were not easily disqualified as being gynecomastia.

I heard all the usual jokes and comments, I did not let it shame me or get me down, instead, i used it to show myself I am succeeding in my NBE. I had thought several times in the pass to get rid of my nbe supplies, but knowing myself, I put them aside knowing I would return , being a creature of habit. Now its full steam, hell-be damned I am gonna increase my cup size ( may be the bovine ovaries talking). When I try to think of stopping now, I feel sad. So for me at least, there will be no stopping..besides, I still have 15 bottles of b.o. and a pound of Pm powder to go through...plus about 10lbs of other herbals and extract to use up. Grow big or go home :p

[JosephineDreams]

Thanks for the detailed reply, I didn't expect it after my rant.

I wouldn't say I had any psychological benefits or dependence on PM. It was more about the physical effects than anything.

> Just answer to yourself.

Or not!

> 1. Why did you want breasts to begin with?

I've always had an ideal body image in my head that is feminine. I dislike my masculine features. Despite halting NBE I continued to grow my hair long and it is very long now! (and I will not cut it!!! despite everyone telling me to)

> 2. How did you feel while growing them?

Quite pleased and contented, and quietly excited.

> 3. Were you confident, aroused, ashamed by them? All of these, none of these?

I wasn't ashamed although I might have been a bit embarrassed if someone saw them. I don't plan to socially transition as I'm OK with being male socially, but I still want to look feminine (weird eh?)

> 4. What caused you to discard your supplement? Was it shame? Perhaps your body having a surge of testosterone, signaling you to discard the pm?

It was in conjunction with purging some of my clothes for crossdressing. I thought it was better for others if I stopped this. It was kind of a rash decision but I also felt like my health might be effected and sort of freaked out.

> 5. Do you feel a sense of regret having discarded your supplement.

Yes, I could have stopped taking it and kept it in case I changed my mind. But there was only 1 bottle wasted so it's not the end of the world.

> 6. Think of your breasts growing at this moment. Do you feel an ache, a pulse, throb or any other familiar growth feeling? If so, perhaps. Your mind is already hardwired.

Funny you say that, I sort of do...

> 7. Think how you feel about purchasing th pm before you actually do. Do you feel a sense of shame or guilt?

Perhaps a little, but at the same time it's a thrilling thought...

[tanysquirrel]

Have you ever heard of body dysmorphia?

Should you decide to continue your NBE, be aware the longer you go, the more noticeable and permanent they will be. There is always the chance they will continue to grow even if you purge once again.. think of it like a car coasting to a stop vs. Putting the brakes on.

8. Do your nipples become erect thinking of growing your breasts again?

9. Do your dreams occasionally or consistently contain you in them with breasts?

10. Do your thoughts turn to or daydream about having breasts.

[GingerMaxim]

I am very much the same with Josephine Dreams.

I don't plan to socially transition as I'm OK with being male socially, but I
still want to look feminine.

I am on HRT through my ENDO. I have a full C and loving it and now
trying to lactate.

[tanysquirrel]

As am I ginger.

I upped to the following after reading an article about high doses and lactation.

2000 mg of l-glutamine
2200 mg of l-arginine
2200 mg of l-lysine.

All taken on empty stomach an hour and a half before bedtime with full glass of water. 20 min breast massage befoe bed. In the last few days the ducts are really developed and swollen. I even had a few drops of leakage. Must be before bed as sleep is the best time of hgh to be released.

Stimulate nipples to near orgasm to release oxytocin, responsible for milk ejection. Reflex.

Abovementioned supplement at that dose increases prolactin. Necessary for lactation.
D-aspartate at doses above 3g per day also increases lactation.

[JosephineDreams]

> Have you ever heard of body dysmorphia?

Yes, I don't think that really describes me, as I don't really have any obsessive behaviours that I can think of. But I do often fret about parts of my body I don't like.

> Should you decide to continue your NBE, be aware the longer you go, the more noticeable and permanent they will be. There is always the chance they will continue to grow even if you purge once again.. think of it like a car coasting to a stop vs. Putting the brakes on.

I knew what I was getting in to... already I have a permanent change as I was previously completely flat chested. Now I have some noticeable breast tissue and if I press it, it is still nice and squishy. The idea that it might be a runaway train of growth sounds optimistic, but actually makes me quite excited... (but I would need a new bra collection!)

I think if I grew breasts large enough that I could not hide them I would be OK with that.

> 8. Do your nipples become erect thinking of growing your breasts again?

Not really...

> 9. Do your dreams occasionally or consistently contain you in them with breasts?

I don't recall dreams very often, I've never even had a wet dream, so this doesn't really apply to me. The only dreams I occasionally remember are weird and mildly disturbing...

> 10. Do your thoughts turn to or daydream about having breasts.

I do have daydream fantasies that involve me having a nice pair jiggling about