(03-02-2016, 03:12 PM)iaboy Wrote: Hi Alison.... I thought I would get some ideas. Cause, like I said, I am a late bloomer and thought it very strange. I thought this narrow discussion would help not just me, but a few other confused people.
I would NOT consider myself a prejudiced person. But to me, my late blooming feelings is sort of akin to a man waking up when 40 years of age and deciding after 4 kids and a beautiful wife and a decent life that all of a sudden he's gay... I know it can and does happen, but I still cant help to feel that it's very odd.
I also know, that PM and herbs alone can not truly feminize a man. Although, I am somewhat happy with what I have been able to do on such a program, I still would like to go just a little further, without joining the other team... LOL.... And to do so, I am trying to figure out the best medically accepted terms so that I may be able to receive the required help.
So far, there have been very heartfelt and great discussion on this thread. And I truly do appreciate all thoughts, Ideas and suggestions.
Hi, IaBoy,
I think we're hitting some problems with our language. Until recently, sex, sexuality, and gender, were very limited. There were bardiche and gays and lesbians and straights, sure, but most were not able to change most features they had.
A transsexual in India in 1800s, say, would live as a woman, but still basically look male.
By what, 1930s? It was possible to change the body to more closely match the mind, and make it realistic.
So, while we always acknowledged masculine and feminine, we rarely thought to apply feminine to men or masculine to women. It's only recently that women were truly encouraged to be masculine, and men were told to "get in touch with their feelings" - be feminine.
So we're still on the "early adopter" section of the bell curve, whether we want or not. :-) Language is still developing.
The comparison to a straight guy with children waking up one day to realize he's gay, there are parallels to that. There's the literal: the mind and body have changed, and so he's now attracted to features of masculine polarity. He's "gone gay" without any intent or plan.
The other is something I've seen and am in some ways living. I'm losing interest in women. I fantasize about them, I love the way they look, I want to be and be with them, and in a sexual sense.
But when we're done, aside from maybe some cuddling? I want them to go away. Once that affection need is met, I want them elsewhere. I don't care about "the relationship"; I don't care about your day; we're NOT bonding or improving the relationship with idle chatter and small talk, it's just NOISE. (The fact that she's "talking" at over 80 decibels - a dot-matrix printer - might have something to do with this case, but it's beyond that.) It's something women do, though, the "noise" is how they bond and form social connections.
If I'm going to engage in talk, I want to exchange ideas, communicate things. Not chit-chat to make noise and "bond." That's where I'm VERY masculine. (Thank you, Dad.... If you recall how my dad was, you know there's sarcasm there, as it's set my socialization back to the stone age and kept it there.) I talk when there's something to say. Not to validate my existence to the universe, or inflict myself on others (usually, sometimes business makes it necessary to impose.)
I'm sure that's no like most people here. Most people probably bond socially, whether male or female, masculine or feminine. Guys bond over sports, women bond over gossip. (To go to the stereotypes.)
I bond over political discourse and discussions of Lysander Spooner and Plato's "The Cave." ;-)
I think, though, we need to differentiate the transition of sex and gender, in a sense.
PM et al can femininze a man, but won't make him female. I think this is where the Johns Hopkins doc loses his way, too. I doubt any Transsexual out there thinks they've become FEMALE after the surgery. They merely resemble women as closely as possible. And, even if we could rewrite the DNA, would they get a second childhood and grow up female? No. Most that could be done is a nanotech cocktail to change the body in a less-invasive way, or a transporter overlaying a new pattern with the old (which isn't even possible in Star Trek, despite the episode they had to un-age one of the doctors using similar methods; they were still checking a new patterns against an old one. Also an argument against a transporter, as they've created duplicates in the past, Riker being the best example. But I digress.)
We want to be feminine, I think.
I want the grace, the beauty, to be the center of attention (in the way that makes sense to me, compared to, say, a clown or stand-up comic.) I want to be able to be silly, or moody, or feel (anything), without having to apologize and justify why I'm "acting like a woman."
If I could still keep my strength, I'd love it. I don't want bulging muscles, I just want to be so strong that I'm terrifying, because then no one will F*ck with me... they felt they had license to attack me in the past, and especially women have that risk, even compared to a smaller man. A small man can still be strong, or might trained and/or armed. Women are less likely to be armed or trained, and are weaker and smaller (smaller lever arms, less ability to project force even when they have it.)
But I have no illusions I'd ever "become a woman." FTMs don't imagine they'll "become a man" that way either. We're just putting on a mask, in essence, to be "us." Or, maybe, taking OFF the mask. But I was thinking in terms of Billy Joel, "the Stranger." We just "put on our face" every day and soldier on. Not like there's a huge choice, especially for our generation. Younger TGs (used as umbrella term) are able to put off puberty, set up hormones, maybe even transition, before their body is irrevocably altered. We're late to the party... We just accept it and pretend it's Ok.
In a philosophical view, I think the bi-polar model is most effective. We don't live in a world where it's necessary any more, mostly. But across a border here and there, the game reverts to the old world very fast. :-) We're lucky to suffer from first-world problems.
Doesn't mean they hurt less.
And we still might benefit from a little of the wild in us. From a libertarian forum I am on:
Quote:The funny thing about government: It interrupts and interferes with the lives of those who do self-govern, but yet isn’t able to prevent nor deter the actions of those who won’t self-govern. Government doesn’t seem to do much about sociopaths and sadistic abusers. It instead hires them as cops. The lives of the self-governing are micro-managed, and their often-benevolent actions prevented, deterred, and or penalized; A good man who has committed no real crime becomes an outlaw merely for not submitting to tyranny and the dictates of the state, while the vermin can live much freer, until and if such time they are caught committing some atrocity.
I think we are in a similar situation here, also analogous to The Cave, where we see the shadows on the wall and try to make sense of it all - but we're wearing a straightjacket on our mind.
Best solution in some ways is, forget the whole deal. Gordian Knot solution. Cut it open, leave it be.
We want to have feminine attributes. For me, I want to look feminine, but know it's impossible. I love the whole shape, smell, movement, etc. Others may not want to go that far, even supposing it's possible. Lotus comes to mind... Etna, too, and Ella, and I don't know how many others. But they made a choice, and stuck with it - and that CONSISTENCY is
THE key to success in anything in life.
If you wake up one day and have suddenly "gone gay," well - like we do here, and everywhere in life - you play the cards you're dealt. Aces and eights, or a pair of nothing, you just get to go forward and move on from where you are.
When we get too low, we forget that.
But it's not changed, it's still true. We just need to DO...
I think that's where you're working towards, too. :-)
-Dianna
