(29-01-2016, 11:07 AM)WendyA Wrote: [All of the details removed]
Hi, Wendy, and thank you, and everyone else, for the input.
Work is keeping me VERY busy, I don't even have time to read the forum right now, and home is not much different... (Long story, more issues, more drama, I need a drink. Make that 2. Maybe 200.... ;-) )
Anyway - I tried a quick experiment, and stopped the 2400 mg/day fish oil (single dose, 2 pills per day, AM), to see if the GID returned.
In one day.
So, OK, now let's see what happens when I add the fish oil back in...
Day 1: one pill AM, one PM, 1200 mg/dose. No change. (still some GID.)
Day 2: Two pills AM, one PM, 1200 mg/pill. No change. (still some GID.)
Day 3: Two pills AM, 1200mg/pill, results TBD, but feeling more "normal" for now. (Want to kill the intern, toss the woman out the window, jump in front of train. You, know, "normal." Yes, it's a joke, all of it. ;-) Except maybe the intern part....)
So, it must not have JUST been the fish oil, but the fish oil might be ending some inflammation, so it might be helping a bit with a symptom, or a corresponding issue.
But it isn't a cure, either.
I am gaining weight, though, and right now, the other stresses are getting worse, not lessened. (WTF? It's Sisyphus here, endless.)
But I AM seeing things more clearly, and coming to terms with my own mental issues. Problem is, I'm not the only one here with issues. I can't keep taking care of others and denying myself, but I also can't have THAT discussion with a woman who is clinically depressed (understatement.)
I'm going to take your advice, Wendy, and get that course done this quarter, if at all possible (meaning, scheduled. Otherwise there's always an excuse.) [Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class]
Psychiatry is essentially contra-indicated in a sense for me, as it removes most of what I consider to be important from my life for a while. My control of myself, freedom, and direction in life would have to be suborned - and that's before we talk about the lunacy going on which can hurt people for decades afterwards. We are WAY too "Capital L Liberal" these days. We let criminals go free, but punish the law-abiding. Something is SERIOUSLY insane... It's part of Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, though. (And both sides of the aisle are part of it, and I want NO part of it. Two wings on the same vulture...)
So I REALLY need to "make haste slowly." For all I know, NSA is datamining this post as I write it. :-P
We've made some progress on the financial front, though. Got something resembling a plan (call it a direction now.) We keep it going for a month or three, we'll get back on track. A year probably to get back in the real "black". But that's optimistic, and ignores one of her debts.
I wonder about the "paranoia" and "persecution complex" some would diagnose there, too. You're not paranoid if they really are out to get you, after all; for years, "they" were. (Parents are the enemy, so what do you expect? I'm maturing in a few spots the way I should've matured at about 12, probably. A government that wants to clamp down on YOU for what SOMEONE ELSE did? So, if your brother misbehaves, YOU get hit...? I don't think so. And then, you get validated in the worldview as an adult, it's pretty much put the kibosh on anything resembling a normal life, ever. But those attitudes are now classed as "Oppositional Defiance Disorder," "Anti-Social Personality Disorder," "ADD/ADHD," and probably others I don't even know. And all of these "disorders" are reasons to, in essence, claim a person is mentally defective, and cannot vote or own a gun (legally). In other words, you're not an adult, mentally. And our association with this forum would be one of the clubs used to beat us - think about that.)
I'm at that difficult age where I'm old enough to know better, and young enough I still want to go out and have adventures. things are not aligning by themselves, of course, and now I'm talking a bit more openly with the woman.
BTW, hormones would end that relationship, which is OK on the one hand, but it's not like she has resources anyway. OTOH, she didn't when we met - I see a certain parallel, and I have MAYBE 40 years left, about, to have anything resembling a life. Maybe 50, if things go well, but I might also kick off tomorrow - we never know. So I have a list of things I want in life. I am not getting closer in this life. I need to change that life into what I want.
It involves beautiful women, motorcycles, and money in the bank. Speed and beauty. :-)
And money for when you low-side. :-P Or when life low-sides....
But that list means personal changes, and overcoming the problems listed. Mostly personality, some money, and time which cannot be overcome, so remove the impediments... Whether she likes or not, she can come along and relinquish her own control-freak ways, or she can go her own way. And the second option is better, because I am NOT keeping a committed relationship with someone who is a detriment to how I define success, and opposes what I feel is essential. (E.G., she doesn't like metal music. Nor classical, and the two are more closely related than you'd think. I should've known that when she got in my car and changed the radio, she was out of order, but I allowed it - my fault. Been paying for it ever since.)
Sorry for rambling, but since I can count my friends on one finger and have digits left over, this is about as close as I come to social interaction that isn't with her, or about work. Even I, as a loner, think it's unhealthy to be THIS alone. She's a social type, but has been almost unable to make friends here. I fit in worse than she does, and I've been trying. I think we're reinforcing the worst characteristics of each other, though, and grating on each other, so I don't think we're going to last.
And maybe that would help both of us.
As for getting on track with NBE, I still wish I could go back to being 18, and grow then then. :-) Opium dreams, I guess, since a woman's power is linked to her youth, I'd love to have known then what I know now. Any of it, even.
But that's all of us, I'm sure. ;-)
Got to get back to work, the intern is asking about the forum... :-P MYOB, boy! :-D
-Jean