Can we still be Men ?
When my wife and I watched Danish Girl , which incidentally is not the best choice ?, although a good film, she raised a good point, its one thing being more female and having growth, that she did not mind and could understand, but she said
What she thought was scary was that he was lost completely to womanhood ie he was never her husband again at all,
Now for a full ts, there is most likely no choice and they have to be the true woman they are, but not always,
So this got me thinking for us twilights, can we still be Men, ignoring the bedroom parts,
What our wives or significant others need to see and know is that we are still the protector in the family, even if it means dashing after a burglar in bra and panties in the middle of the night ?
I know myself that even in full girl mode, I would be a lion in micro seconds if need be
Can we all say this ?
If we can then reassurance boundaries are perhaps very important ie to prove and show to our significant others and partners that we may not be 100% men , but we sure can still defend them and be there when the poo hits the fan ?
Thoughts ?

Julie

... which incidentally is not the best choice ? ...

tru dat.

I'm not the best to be commenting on this thread, but it's worth highlighting that Lilly is not typical of modern trans people.

Saying that, I was "lost completely to womanhood" from the day I started presenting. Haha.

Interesting thought... For us "twilighters" it's a tremendous spectrum.

I would suggest that some here would not go all the way over due to the cost and pain of operations to go completely female.

While others just want the option to dress and act female or male, ( this would probably be my category) whenever they want.

Others may do it, just for curiosity sake, more of a fetish life style. More for shock value than anything else. Sort of like being a biker and having both ears pierced. LOL....

I think your original question is most valid, but that it's a more of an individual type of thing. No groups, no classifications can be drawn or subscribed to, is my belief.

Once again you make me ponder life Julie.
Over the past few months I have been watching women, TS's and I just cant seem to see myself in the girly giggle, smiley sweet way. That seems way to artificial to me.
When I am dressed and feel as womanly as I can, I always make a mental plan about what to do in the event that someone yells "guy in a dress". My first impression is to grab the bastard about the neck and beat the bjeasus out of him.
Just cant seem to shake that impulse.
Bobbi

Once again you make me ponder life Julie.
Over the past few months I have been watching women, TS's and I just cant seem to see myself in the girly giggle, smiley sweet way. That seems way to artificial to me.
When I am dressed and feel as womanly as I can, I always make a mental plan about what to do in the event that someone yells "guy in a dress". My first impression is to grab the bastard about the neck and beat the bjeasus out of him.
Just cant seem to shake that impulse.
Bobbi

Bobbi,
I don't mean to be crass, but the thought to me is, were you ever attacked in the past? No need to answer, I'm just musing, because...
I was. Not for being Trans, if you will (maybe, but as a child, who would know? I wasn't "out" in any sense.)

I'm not the type to do that as a first plan, but if there were a group? Maybe. If threatened? Kill the first, see if the second still wants to dance. Because otherwise? I might well get beaten, raped, killed. (Already been, legally speaking, sexually assaulted. Ruptured testicle. "Boys will be boys," right?)

I asked merely because, that sounds similar to my response, basically. Different trigger mechanism, maybe; I'm not going to go after them for being insulting, It's a risk, I might get damaged, and the more, the greater the risk. Better to use the "female" techniques, as it diffuses them (makes them guess again), and the "stereotypical" female reaction means you'll be better insulated from violence (that our bodies no longer have the same ability to deal with), while also pulling in other people (social shaming of the bully, feminine response, inculcate a pity/helper response.)
Grabbing someone by the neck instead validates their claim. Showing hurt means you're ashamed...

But showing them up as bullies, or idiots, validates YOU. And you'll get others (women and men) to validate YOU as a WOMAN. :-)

And for me, if they have ill intent beyond names? No such thing as "unreasonable force." I'm weaker than they, I'm fatter than they, and there's only ONE of me. If I have a blade, a gun, a cudgel, rat-tail comb, whatever I can manage as a weapon, I'll go to town. They've shown intent, it's time to defend myself. Best way to defend is to limit their ability to inflict damage. A fatality or two works in two ways: Their numbers decline, fewer to attack me; and, they might lose their interest if I show I can project a helluva lot more force, a helluva lot faster, and deadlier, than they'd thought. At that point, it's a question of, Do they have a gun? (So, target the ringleader, he's probably the weakest - needs the ego boost of a weapon.)

From there, fight a rear-guard action until you get to where people ARE - because, looking feminine, you'll be protected by the people around you. Even better if they're police. Police aren't my friends, but they're likely to be the enemy of my enemy, and when it's all sorted out - I was threatened, I was at risk for my life, I reacted and left in one motion. They pursued....
I doubt any jury would convict - but even if they did, I'd still be alive... And it's not like I'm a trained killer, so "accidents" happened.... (Seriously, I know how to inflict damage, but I've had no training. BIG difference. And looks that way to a jury, who think in terms of the violence they see on TV as "realistic." Google "the Rambo Defense" for more info. Basis is, if you have a gun, you MUST have been LOOKING for trouble... That's the Jury's mindset walking in. Because of the propaganda we've been fed for over 70 years now. )

Play to the feminine, keep the masculine in the back pocket until there's no choice, is my thought. Your judgement as to when that turning point occurs. :-)

-Dianna

[...]
Others may do it, just for curiosity sake, more of a fetish life style. More for shock value than anything else. Sort of like being a biker and having both ears pierced. LOL....
[...]

Hmmm... Having both ears pierced is still shocking? ;-)
I have two holes in each ear (though I never wear rings in public), but I can't think of much that's "shocking" these days. Maybe a ZZTop style beard with DD breasts?
but we live in a world of dermal implants and full-body tattoos, ritual scarification, BDSM as mainstream, and broadcast TV sex scenes... Between men.

I have to wonder, what can the "shock rocker" or carny types do, that hasn't been done already? ;-P

-Dianna ;-)

Can we still be Men ?
When my wife and I watched Danish Girl , which incidentally is not the best choice ?, although a good film, she raised a good point, its one thing being more female and having growth, that she did not mind and could understand, but she said
What she thought was scary was that he was lost completely to womanhood ie he was never her husband again at all,
Now for a full ts, there is most likely no choice and they have to be the true woman they are, but not always,
So this got me thinking for us twilights, can we still be Men, ignoring the bedroom parts,
What our wives or significant others need to see and know is that we are still the protector in the family, even if it means dashing after a burglar in bra and panties in the middle of the night ?
I know myself that even in full girl mode, I would be a lion in micro seconds if need be
Can we all say this ?
If we can then reassurance boundaries are perhaps very important ie to prove and show to our significant others and partners that we may not be 100% men , but we sure can still defend them and be there when the poo hits the fan ?
Thoughts ?

Julie

Hi, Julie,
I'm a bit binary on this one.
One of the perks of being a woman is, you don't need to be the defender. (Tell me again who is less valued as a sex?)

That being said, why should we have to protect? That's what the police are for, right...? (sarcasm, of course)
Actually, it's what a gun is for. TWO guns, in fact, His and Hers. Or His and his, or Hers and Hers, whatever works. We all have a duty to protect ourselves. It cannot be "outsourced."

One thing is, women supposedly aren't wired with "fight or flight" responses, but "Tend and befriend." (Not sure how that applies to protecting the children, though.) Supposedly, women try to turn a potential threat to their side by supporting that individual, or by incorporating that individual into the group.

Note that with weapons a woman can use effectively (gun, mostly) - that's not necessarily accurate, but they were talking the psychology...

Now, for me, I don't see a reason for it, but that's specific to me. It's more like, "I'm not here to protect her from you... I'm here to protect YOU from HER." She's 260, 5'6, and about as strong as I am. No training, but aggressive, nasty, and loud... I mostly figure she'd be the one to pop him, and then she'd likely not stop... I'd have to pull her off the pieces.
Which returns us to, why should we have to fight? Why are we supposed to be her protector any more? Women can be whatever they want, but males are still nothing but an ATM, Sperm Bank, and Protection service?
And for me specifically, why should I meet her needs, when she refuses to meet mine? (She's already told me she doesn't feel safe walking from the garage in our complex, to the door to the apartments, because it's too dark. And I'm not strong enough to protect her, anyway. At least she said that one privately... We won't get into her other charming comments.)

Maybe I'm just the wrong one to respond, but - What's the point of embracing femininity, if you have to jump back into the Protector/Provider role when she demands? It's freedom for her, slavery for him. I'll pass.

(All that said, Were she smaller than I am, I'd be far more aggressive in protecting her. Since she's not feminine, petite, or weak, I see no reason to be protective.)

-Dianna

Dianna,
I've never been beaten, abused or raped. I just like to quickly solve problems. So thinking over all your advice and discussion, I'll modify my approach.
I'd walk up to the gentlemen than outed me and give him a kiss on the lips, Then Id throttle the bastard and beat the bejeasus out of him.
Never did like long drawn out negotiations on any matter.
Hugs
Bobbi

Bobbi,
LOL!!!

That would probably be awesome... :-) First, distract and disarm, THEN beat into jello. :-)

-Dianna

Bobbi

I salute you

Love

Julie
Lol