Recently I have found myself pondering over a few things. I am not really sure what to do, so here I am writing the lovely community for some input.
So the first thing that has been weighing in on me has been the desire to have a real world person to interact with. While the forum and chat room have been fantastic outlets, there's something missing, and it's that whole one on one interaction. So what's the problem? Well for starters no one knows what I am doing. For the most part I am a private person and what I do is no one's business. I don't want friends, colleagues, or family finding out that I am trying to grow breasts. From what I have seen and heard from them, I just don't see it going well and I really do not feel like dealing with that level of drama. Then my thoughts go back to being able to connect with a like minded, or similarly path'd friend. Share our thoughts, feelings, ideas, to be able to talk about anything and everything openly and freely without any fear of ridicule, or insult. Yes I know, the forum and chat room could achieve some level of that, but it just hasn't been the same. It just doesn't seem possible to open myself up to that, without potentially exposing myself to the one's I don't want to know.
So the other thing that has been on my mind has been a new curiosity that has been percolating in my head. I currently still have no desire to transition. Thus far that hasn't changed. For one, I don't think my face is very feminine, now granted much of that could be due to my facial hair of which I do like. Another, I know my family would not accept that change. Life for me would be a living hell. But like I said, I haven't had any desire to transition... yet. I only say yet, but I am open the possibility of the future. I know better than to never say never because sooner or later never is just around the corner.
So then what's the problem you may ask? Well one curiosity always leads to another. So first off I am a small to medium build 5'8". So potentially passable I suppose. What I've wondered as of late is what would I look like completely made up? I travel for work on occasion and so there's the possibility of finding a place that would do transformations. Doing it away from home means less likelihood of someone finding out. So what happens if I like what I see? What happens if I find out, wow, all this time I was worried I wasn't passable, and it turns out that I am. Yes I know, I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, but like I said... I know me, and one curiosity can lead to another.
So I am curious what wonderful people here think or have to say. I am sure I am not that only one that has ever been through this before. Thank you all for your time and support!
Sincerely,
Fire
So the first thing that has been weighing in on me has been the desire to have a real world person to interact with. While the forum and chat room have been fantastic outlets, there's something missing, and it's that whole one on one interaction. So what's the problem? Well for starters no one knows what I am doing. For the most part I am a private person and what I do is no one's business. I don't want friends, colleagues, or family finding out that I am trying to grow breasts. From what I have seen and heard from them, I just don't see it going well and I really do not feel like dealing with that level of drama. Then my thoughts go back to being able to connect with a like minded, or similarly path'd friend. Share our thoughts, feelings, ideas, to be able to talk about anything and everything openly and freely without any fear of ridicule, or insult. Yes I know, the forum and chat room could achieve some level of that, but it just hasn't been the same. It just doesn't seem possible to open myself up to that, without potentially exposing myself to the one's I don't want to know.
So the other thing that has been on my mind has been a new curiosity that has been percolating in my head. I currently still have no desire to transition. Thus far that hasn't changed. For one, I don't think my face is very feminine, now granted much of that could be due to my facial hair of which I do like. Another, I know my family would not accept that change. Life for me would be a living hell. But like I said, I haven't had any desire to transition... yet. I only say yet, but I am open the possibility of the future. I know better than to never say never because sooner or later never is just around the corner.
So then what's the problem you may ask? Well one curiosity always leads to another. So first off I am a small to medium build 5'8". So potentially passable I suppose. What I've wondered as of late is what would I look like completely made up? I travel for work on occasion and so there's the possibility of finding a place that would do transformations. Doing it away from home means less likelihood of someone finding out. So what happens if I like what I see? What happens if I find out, wow, all this time I was worried I wasn't passable, and it turns out that I am. Yes I know, I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, but like I said... I know me, and one curiosity can lead to another.
So I am curious what wonderful people here think or have to say. I am sure I am not that only one that has ever been through this before. Thank you all for your time and support!
Sincerely,
Fire
